Page 56 of The Earl's Secret
“You were not compromising my sister to create a scandal and win our bet?” Gideon asked, each word clipped as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Brava, my lord, for it is the ultimate scheme.”
“Iwascompromising her,” Devon admitted. “But not purposefully. And it had nothing to do with the bet or a scandal. You should know I would never do such a thing. It has everything to do with the fact that… that I love her.”
As he said the words, a warmth washed through his entire body, pooling within his chest where he supposed his heart resided. It hadn’t been used often, he considered. He loved his family, yes, and he had a good many friends he was loyal to, but a woman? As he looked back on his past, however, he knew one thing was for certain. There had been no opportunity to love any other, for he had always loved Cassandra. He had just been too stubborn to realize it.
“You love her,” Gideon repeated, obviously not believing a word of it. “Let me ask you this. Was this the first time that the two of you…”
He couldn’t seem to finish his sentence and instead waved his hand in a circle, pointing to where he had discovered them.
“No,” Devon admitted with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Gideon, I think this story requires a drink.”
Gideon nodded tersely, leading the two of them over to the fire as he poured them each a brandy. Devon didn’t think he could ever imbibe in the drink again without thinking of Cassandra.
“Well?” Gideon said, crossing one ankle across the other knee as he took a seat in one chair, gesturing to Devon to take the other. “I’m listening.”
“I first compromised her five years ago.”
Gideon’s sole reaction was the blinking of his eyes.
“I do hope you are jesting,” he finally said.
Devon shook his head. “I am not. It should never have happened, Gideon, I know that. Afterward… I tried to reach out to her, vowed to make it right, but she wanted nothing to do with me. She wouldn’t even speak to me besides to tell me that she… well, that she was not with child and that she never wanted to see me again.”
“Why would you not have come to me with this? I would have ensured that she married you.”
“Yes, of course I knew that, but what kind of marriage would that be?” Devon asked, splaying his hands out between them. “You know Cassandra as well as anyone. If she were forced to do something, she would have been miserable. She would have hated me more than she already did and would have been equally as disgruntled with you. I didn’t know about her being sent away. I would never have let that happen if I did.”
Gideon was silent for a moment as he passed the drink from one hand to the other, his expression still wary, although he was, at least, listening. Devon also hadn’t missed the flicker of guilt that had passed over Gideon’s eyes when he had mentioned Cassandra’s forced exodus to a place she had never belonged. “And now?”
“We have become… close since being here together. I wanted to tell you as soon as you returned, to ask for her hand, but she didn’t want you to be suspicious of us, to know that we… well, that we went behind your back. I never meant to, Gideon, truly I didn’t.”
They were both silent for a moment, considering all of the repercussions this revelation would have on each of their lives – in every way.
“What are you asking me now?”
“I would like to ask if you would provide your permission for me to request her hand. I know I don’t have the right to, and I do not want you to think it is because the two of us were caught. I would have asked years ago if I’d had any hope that she would willingly agree. Yet I still waited for her – I just wasn’t sure if the right time would ever come.”
“And you believe now is that time?’
“I now realize thereisno right time.”
“Except that now you have likely made acquiring her agreement all the more unlikely.”
Devon chuckled without any humor. “I am well aware of that.”
Gideon stared at him, the emotion in his eyes nearly impossible to decipher.
“I cannot say that I am pleased with how this has all come about,” he said with a sigh, “but obviously after what I have witnessed and what you have told me, I cannot do anything but agree to your request for her hand. However, I will not force my sister, and she didn’t seem particularly pleased with either of us. Which means that your chance of obtaining her agreement is likely going to be the most difficult aspect of all of this.”
Devon sat back in his seat, as both relief at finally unburdening this secret as well as concern over what Cassandra’s response might be, washed over him. He wanted nothing more than to chase after her, to tell her what she meant to him, to convince her to start a life with him.
But to do so now would make everything all the worse. He had to proceed in a way that would convince her of the truth – that this had all meant something to him, that he wanted to marry her because he loved her and couldn’t imagine a life without her – and for no other reason.
It would have been far easier if she was a different woman.
But if shewasanyone else, he would not love her as he did. So, he sat across from his friend, lowered all his defenses, and, for the first time in both of their lives, he asked for his help.
* * *
