Page 63 of The Viscount's Code
But he knew that if he had stayed any longer, if he had spoken to Hope even one more time, he might have done something even worse. He might have promised her a future together, when her father had ensured that they would never have one.
For even if they had disregarded all that her father had said and run away to be married, he knew that Hope would never be truly happy. She might be happy for a time, but he knew how much her family meant to her, and he never wanted to subject her to the same rumors and whispers that he and his mother had endured for years.
He had done thisforHope, even though he knew that she would likely never forgive his betrayal. The way that she had been staring at him in that library, asking him by just the way she looked at him, to commit to her, to tell her that all was going to fine, to make everything better, had nearly broken him.
If she hadn’t turned away from him for just that one moment, he would have been a man lost to her and whatever she asked of him.
But now he was a man lost to something else – to grieve over what could have been. A life with Hope.
* * *
They were planningto leave Castleton the next morning. Hope had tried, during the past couple of days, to maintain a happy smile for Cassandra’s sake. This was, after all, to be one of the joyous times of Cassandra’s life.
But deep within, her heart was broken.
Anthony had left her as though all they had experienced together meant nothing. Perhaps everything he had said to her were just words, with no true meaning behind them, his actions but those of a man interested in a woman only because of her presence.
“Hope?” Faith opened the door after a short knock and entered her bedchamber. “Mother is nearly ready to leave.”
Hope nodded, looking around her. Her bags were packed neatly by the doorway, her maid having taken care of most of it. She smiled sadly to herself as she thought of the last time she had traveled, when she had packed for herself. A journey she would remember forever for its simplicity and as the time when she had fallen in love with Anthony.
“Are you all right?” Faith asked, her brow furrowed in concern as she walked farther into the room.
“No,” Hope said morosely, no longer hiding her feelings from her sister. “The truth is, Faith, I thought that Anthony and I had forged something together. I thought that he cared for me as I did him. But it seems I was wrong.”
“Did you want him to stand up to Father?”
“I suppose I wanted him to not allowanythingto come between us,” Hope said. “Father or his family history or anything else that might have threatened how we felt for each other. Does he not realize that I don’t care what was said about his father? That all that matters is how we feel?”
“Is that enough?” Faith asked with unusual gentleness. “For you, or for him?”
“It should be,” Hope said, and Faith leaned over and placed her hand on Hope’s.
“You are a woman who sees the world in color, who sees the best in everyone she meets, who loves without condition,” she said. “You are the type of person that I need in my life. As does, I believe, Lord Whitehall.”
“I thought you didn’t want me to have anything to do with him.”
“I didn’t,” Faith said before a self-deprecating smile crossed her face. “I have realized, however, that he and I are actually rather alike. We tend to plan for the worst that could come our way, look at things in fear of what may be. He likely left Castleton because he didn’t want you to have to make a choice. Perhaps after Father’s threats, he believed that if you chose him, you would come to regret it.”
Hope tilted her head as she looked at her sister. “A wise thought, but I am not sure that is any better, for it means that he thinks he can make the decision for me.”
“Because he already knew what you were going to choose,” Faith said, pausing for a moment. “I am sorry, Hope, for judging him so quickly. I have never seen you as happy as when you were with him, and I shouldn’t have listened to Father so readily without discovering the truth – or at least listening to Lord Whitehall’s defence.”
Hope rose and walked to the window, crossing her arms over her chest. “What now?”
“Now, you take back the power and make your decision – and tell him why you have made it. That is what would change my mind.”
Hope nodded, turning around, back toward her sister. “A decision based on fact and not emotion.”
“That’s right.”
“I might need some time to think on that.”
“If I am right at what he feels for you, then you have time. He will not be finding another, that is for certain.” Faith stood herself. “Well, I best go finish packing. It will not be long before we leave. I do feel for Lord Ashford, however. He had so much hope in solving this riddle, and it all came to nothing.”
“We did discover a beautiful song,” Hope said wistfully, a smile playing on her lips as she thought of it. “I never did play it. Once the books were stolen, all else was forgotten.”
She stopped suddenly, the idea hitting her with the full force of a punch to the stomach.
