Page 56 of The Lord's Compass
“I am not regretting it,” she said carefully. “But I do not like that you tricked me into it.”
“I did no such thing,” he said, leaning in close, his voice husky and oh, so seductive. “I was only giving you a taste of what married life could be.”
“That is what our marriage will be?” she said, lifting a brow. “Enjoying one another in bed and then what, going our separate way for the rest of the day?”
He hesitated. “If that is what you want.”
She looked down at her hands. “I haven’t decided.”
The truth was, if she was going to marry, she would like it to be more than that. She wanted a partner in bed, yes, but also for all of the good times and hard times that would come their way throughout each day. She refused, however, to give away too much of herself, in case he shattered her trust and broke her heart once more.
He would never know how much he had hurt her that night. She had explained to him what she had seen, but she could never let him know what she had felt, how she had wondered whether she would ever be the same woman again.
For it had changed her. She had never been as optimistic and carefree as Hope, but, at one time, she had certainly been less cynical, more trusting.
“Is it worth it?” she found herself asking.
“Is what worth it?”
“My dowry.”
“What does your dowry have to do with anything?”
“For you to marry me so readily, you must be getting something substantial out of it.”
He stared at her so unblinkingly that it unnerved her.
“You still do not understand it, do you?”
“Understand what?”
He answered with a sigh.
“I’ve tried, Faith, I truly have, and one day, I hope you will be true to both me and to yourself. But until then, will you promise me one thing?”
“What is that?” she asked warily.
“Be open to whatever may come between us?”
She couldn’t deny that there was a large part of her – mostly the feminine places – that was very much looking forward to what was to come between them on their wedding night and beyond. She likely knew more than most innocent young ladies did from the scandalous books she and her friends secretly read, but she had never quite understood the draw.
Until now.
Until Eric.
“Very well,” she agreed. “I will be as open as I can be.”
She just didn’t admit that it was only the physical she would be open to – the rest was too difficult to agree to.
“It has been quite a journey, has it not?” he said, jutting his chin toward the faint stretch of land on the horizon. Since Faith’s father had hired the ship, it would take them to Newfield House, which was on the east coast of England near Harwich.
It was where they would be married.
“It most certainly has,” she agreed. “And it is just beginning.”
* * *
“Faith I am so, so sorry.”
