Page 57 of The Lord's Compass
It was a month later and Faith’s sister, Hope, was sitting across from her on the canopy bed draped in flowing fabrics, in the room they had shared growing up, despite Newfield Manor having more than enough bedrooms for them each to have had their own.
It was one of the most spacious rooms in the manor, however, adorned with delicate floral patterned wallpaper in soft pastel hues, with tall, carved wooden panels framing the windows, allowing a soft glow of natural light to filter through the heavy damask curtains in shades of rose and gold.
Here, near Harwich, there had been few young women of their age living nearby, and so they had become their own closest of friends.
Even if they were as different as any two sisters could be.
“It is not your fault, Hope,” Faith said as she stared at the pale yellow gown laid out on her bed, prepared for the next morning when she and Eric would wed. It was made of the finest silk, with intricate hand embroidery gracing the hemline and the edges of the sleeves, showcasing delicate floral motifs and tiny pearls that her mother had selected. “What are the chances that you would have been seen by someone who would speak with Mother?”
“I should have been more convincing in my lie,” Hope said, far too morose for a woman who had just returned from her honeymoon in Scotland. “Lady Maude asked where you were and I said that you were feeling poorly but then one thing led to another and somehow she ascertained that you were not with us.”
Faith crossed the room and took Hope’s hands in hers, staring into the luminescent blue eyes that had captivated so many gentlemen. Faith had always known that Hope was the favored one, the beautiful one, the diamond of the first water. She likely would have had a far greater number of marriage proposals had their father not continued to insist that Faith marry first.
“Hope,” she said. “It is I who should likely apologize to you. When you had your adventure, I did nothing but chastise you for it and then I did the same.”
“Except you, at least, kept my secret.”
“I did what I thought was best at the time, and, fortunately, it all worked out,” Faith said. “But I should have been more understanding. I can see that now.”
“Did you have fun, at least, with Lord Ferrington?” Hope asked, her eyes glistening. “Was it worth it?”
“Oh, Hope,” Faith said, the smile she had been hiding behind her fear jumping to her face. “It was dangerous, yes. But it was also exhilarating. I cannot remember the last time that I felt so alive.”
“And Lord Ferrington?” Hope persisted, raising an eyebrow. “I was shocked when you undertook this adventure, primarily due to the amount of time it meant that you would be spending with him. Now those few weeks will turn into a lifetime. Did you, at least, enjoy your time with him when you were there?”
Faith felt the warmth stealing up her face, and she tried to turn away toward the window before Hope saw it, but she was too late.
“Oh, Faith,” Hope said knowingly. “Youdidenjoy time with him.”
Faith’s breath hitched. “Perhaps there were… a couple of moments,” she said slowly. “He causes me to feel things that I never thought possible. Were they ill-advised moments of weakness? Probably. Did I enjoy them? Yes.”
“Faith,” Hope said, rising from the bed and walking toward her, taking her hands in hers. “You are allowed moments of joy, moments of happiness. There is no need to feel any shame in them.”
“I am not ashamed,” Faith said, dropping her hands. “I am terrified.”
“Of what?”
“Of enjoying it too much. Enjoyinghimtoo much. Becoming attached.”
“Faith,” Hope said cautiously, as though concerned that she was going to scare her, “you do know that you will be married to him, do you not?”
“Of course I do,” Faith said. “But that doesn’t mean that he is going to be true to me or committed to me and only me.”
“Is that what he said?”
“No,” Faith said. “Quite the opposite. But he told me once before that he was the man for me, and I believed him. In the end, I was not enough.”
“Faith,” Hope said, “coming from someone who has known you your entire life, who is closer to you than likely anyone in the world, I implore you to let down that guard. If he gives you any reason to doubt him, then so be it. But until then, perhaps you could find a little happiness.”
Faith eyed her sister. “As you have found?”
“Oh, Faith, I could never have thought marriage would be so wonderful,” Hope said with a sigh, and Faith couldn’t help the happiness that jumped in her heart for her sister.
And this time, that happiness was unaccompanied. Absent was the pain she had felt – pain of the separation from her sister, pain at the thought of being alone.
While she was getting married, it was not as though she was gaining a true partner – was she?
“I still have trouble understanding how you could find so much happiness with a man as surly as Whitehall, but I am glad of it,” Faith said, squeezing her hands.
