Page 62 of The Heir's Fortune
“I thought I was free, Cassandra,” he said, hearing the anguish in his voice, hating himself for it but, for one of the first times in his life, allowing himself to feel and voice the emotion that was inside of him. “Free to marry the woman I chose. Free of the burden of letting down all of the people who rely on us. Free to be enough, as myself, for the first time in my life.”
“And now you believe all that has changed because you no longer have the treasure?”
“I believe that I should see to all the people that I am responsible for. But I did offer for Madeline, and I am a man of my word. I cannot take that request back.”
“Trust me, Gideon, the last thing that Madeline would want is for you to marry her against your will. If you still want to marry her, it has to be because that is what you truly want and not what you feel obligated to do.”
He paused, allowing her words to sink in, and she continued before he could respond.
“Since you were rid of all of the stewards and men of business who caused our financial ruin, what has happened?”
“I have done all I can to rebuild.”
“Doing everything yourself.”
“I cannot trust anyone else.”
“And?” She raised a brow.
“And I have begun to restore some of the money we lost.”
“Wedidn’t lose it. Others lost it for us.”
“It was still under our watch.”
She nodded in agreement.
“I cannot say that I know much about running an estate,” she said. “But if you were to invest in everything needed to be successful, could you take us down that road that much quicker? I know you are conservative and safe, but sometimes you have to take a chance. What if you hired back some of the people you needed to work the land, the gardens? What if you made some investments that just might be worth something? You could take us far, Gideon, because you know what? This dukedom is not a sum of its parts. It is not Castleton, it is not what is in its coffers, it is not what it produces. It is who is part of it. Whoweare. It’s the people who surround us. You can make the dukedom whatever it is you want it to be. And let me ask you something– who do you think is going to help you do that? A nameless woman who has been bred to do as she has been told to do, who will know that she means nothing to you but what her dowry can provide, or a woman who loves you, who is willing to take those risks that you don’t, who can be your other half in every sense of the word?”
Gideon stilled, hopeful, inspired, and yet… afraid.
He was afraid to believe his sister, afraid that she was right. For if she was, that meant that he had to leap forward in a direction that scared him.
“What if I do marry Madeline but then I continue to lose everything?” he asked. “What kind of life is that for her?”
Cassandra looked at him with a brow raised in skepticism.
“First, the chance of that happening is low, for I know you, Gideon, and you would not allow that to happen,” she said. “Secondly, that is her choice to make. You have kept nothing secret from her. She knows what awaits her, and she can decide if it is worth taking the chance. Ifyouare worth taking the chance.”
“What if she says no?” he said grimly, not wanting to think about that option, of putting himself out there, without the treasure, with a dukedom that was still falling to ruin.
“Then she says no,” Cassandra said simply, “and you move on with that loss. But then at least you have tried.”
“Then at least I’ve tried,” he muttered. “Very well.”
“The fact that you are even sharing this with me and asking for my opinion says a lot,” Cassandra said. “There were times you would barely speak to me at all, let alone ask what I thought.”
“Cassandra, I?—”
“I know. It wasn’t just me. You were like that with everyone. Except Devon, perhaps.”
Gideon nodded his agreement.
“You are a good man, Gideon,” she said softly. “You always do what is right, and you do so much for everyone else. Sometimes, however, you have to do something for yourself to be better for all of those around you.”
Gideon reflected on the last few years, of how empty he had been. How, with Madeline in his life, he had found a sense of purpose, and not just in finding the treasure, but in his life itself.
“You’re right,” he said with a sense of wonder.
