Page 127 of Chasing After You
I nod, pushing up from my chair. “Schedule me for whatever you want and add it to my calendar. I’ll get a new phone sometime this week,” I say, walking out of the room, hearing the door slam shut behind me.
I just can’t bring myself to care anymore.
When I’m drunk, it blocks out all the terrible thoughts in my brain, including the conversation my dad had with me a couple days after we got back from New York. He forced me to listen as he told me everything, but it doesn’t make it hurt less.
Sometimes the fictional version of what you believe to be the truth is better than the factual version.
A whole lot fucking better.
If anything, it fucking hurts more knowing I was only worth five hundred thousand dollars to her. That’s the equivalent to my payoff for one game.
One game.
Clearly now that I’m worth more, she thinks she deserves a higher payout.
When I’m sober, this is what consumes my mind when I’m not thinking about Mirabelle.
I’m so lost in my thoughts that I don’t see the person in front of me until the box of things she’s carrying crashes to the floor.
“Watch where you’re going,” she snaps, immediately kneeling to pick up the things, and my eyes widen realizing it’s Mirabelle. I immediately notice Tom’s not with her, but it’s not my place to ask.She quit.
“I’m sorry.”
Her head immediately lifts up, and her mouth opens as she realizes it’s me. “Are you?” she asks, refusing to break eye contact.
So I do.
I crouch down to help her pick up what I caused her to drop. “You’re leaving?” I ask awkwardly, moving to grab her laptop charger at the same time as Mirabelle. She shies away from my touch, allowing me to put it back in the box.
“I’m leaving,” she confirms, and my heart drops.
I drag my hand through my hair, not knowing the right thing to say, but is there a right thing? I torture myself by stealing a glance at her face, only to find Mirabelle already staring back at me.
Her blonde hair is pulled back, but strands are hanging in her face. I fight the urge to brush them behind her ear.
“Good luck,” I say, standing up to walk away.
“Seriously?” Mirabelle calls after me once I’m halfway down the hallway, stopping me in my tracks, but I don’t turn around to look at her.“C’est tout ce que tu trouves à dire après tout ça?”49
I hang my head and continue walking.
It’s in the best interests of everyone.
~
I’m sitting on the edge of the pool, staring at the water in front of me as I finish my beer. It’s my fourth one of the night, and my thoughts aren’t nearly as loud as they were before.
I can push my parents’ secrets to the back of my mind, but I can’t forget the look on Mirabelle’s face earlier.
She’s fucking leaving.
“So this is what you’re going to do every night? Drink yourself into a blind stupor and then spend the next morning throwing everything up from the night before?” Quinn asks, plopping down to sit next to me, offering me a water bottle.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, making no move to take the water from him.
“Wilson invited me over to try out the newMaddenvideo game, and I thought I’d see if you wanted to join.”
“Busy.”
