Page 132 of Chasing After You
“Tu es belle.”50
“Merci,”51 I whisper, unable to look away from his face, watching me in wonder.
Henry hooks his thumbs on the waistband of my underwear and shorts, pulling them down my body. He reaches behind my thighs, easily lifting me to move us to my bed. I push away my laptop, as Henry teases his fingers to see if I’m ready for him.
“Please,” I say, my body arching into him as he pushes two fingers into me. I play with my nipple, biting my lip to hold back a whimper as Henry worships my body, dropping to his knees in front of me, his rough hands holding my thighs firmly apart.
When his mouth replaces his fingers, my eyes flutter shut as I’m unable to bite back the incoherent sounds falling from my mouth. My body is a language that Henry—and Henry alone—is fluent in. “Please, I need you,” I beg, as his unshaven face scratches against my skin, causing sensory overload.
He kisses his way up my body. “I’m sorry,” he says, and I shake my head as his body settles over mine.
“I told you I don’t want to talk about today.”
Henry kisses my neck delicately, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “I’m not talking about today,” he says, and the most dangerous thing about Henry is his ability to make me hope. “Do you have any condoms?” he asks, his hand settling over mine on my breast to play with the sensitive peak.
“I haven’t needed them,” I say, offering a silent invitation. I recognize the predatory spark in his eyes when he realizes I haven’t been with anyone. How could I? Henry is the only one who makes me feel alive. Despite everything, I don’t want to be with anyone but Henry. I can’t imagine it.
Henry wastes no time, hooking my legs around his trim waist, and thrusting deeply into me. “Fuck,” he swears, pulling back painfully slow as he looks into my eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t stop you from leaving,” Henry says, his hips slamming into mine hard enough I barely have a chance to process his words before he’s pulling back again. “I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you.”Repeat. “I’m sorry I told you I didn’t care.” His eyes are shining with what I assume is . . .regret.“I care so fucking much, Mira.”Repeat.“I’m sorry that you love me because Idon’tdeserve it.” Henry’s hips thrust at an upward angle, hitting the right spot to make me gasp in pleasure as my heart bleeds out. “I’m so fucking sorry for all of it.”
~
I know it’s not healthy or remotely good for me in any way, but I’ve spent the last hour reading all the articles being published about me. I couldn’t help but look at the comments either.
I waited for Henry to fall asleep—which didn’t take long—before I slipped out of bed. It was too much for my heart to bear being held by him.
In all of his apologies, he never once said he loved me.
He finally acknowledged he heard me say I love him, but he also said he didn’t deserve it.It’s my choice to decide who deserves my love.
All of the solo shots of me swimming naked were from the weekend Henry was in Denver. The flash I convinced myself was a figment of my imagination while on the phone with JJ was real. Someone had been there taking pictures of me.
I shudder with disgust as my phone vibrates again, but for the first time today, I answer.
“Oh thank god, youfinallyanswered. Are you okay? I can’t believe the nerve of the fucking media for taking naked photos of you and then publishing them? It’s like the world has gone fucking mad, Mira,” Emily rambles, and I look back at the laptop screen.
“The world went mad a long time ago,” I say.
“Are you okay?” she repeats.
“I feel kind of numb.”
“I’m looking at flights right now.”
“Em, you don’t have to do that. Henry’s with me. I’ll be okay. A couple of nude photos never hurt anyone,” I joke, but the reality of the matter is I am hurt. I feel violated in a way I never thought I would, even after how things spiraled after the Olympics.
“Henry’s there?” she asks, her voice a pitch higher in surprise. Not that I blame her. I was a little surprised myself when I heard him come in earlier.
“Yep,” I answer, not wanting to elaborate.
“Oh, I see.”
I furrow my brow as I shut my computer. “You see what?”
“Are you getting back together?” Emily asks, causing me to rub my face.
“No.”
We’re not. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t believe they deserve my love. I know I was the one who walked away, but it was the right thing to do. I never imagined he wouldn’t chase after me, but Henry’s made it clear where his priorities lie, and they’re not with me.
