Page 133 of Chasing After You
“Mirabelle, are you sure? You shouldn’t make this decision now. There’s a lot going on . . .” she trails off.
“Henry and I aren’t getting back together. Today was a blip. It doesn’t matter he showed up like a knight in shining armor, it doesn’t change anything.” No sooner are the words out of my mouth do I regret saying them. It didn’t feel like a blip, but that’s all it needs to be.
A throat clears behind me, and I turn quickly, nearly falling off the stool to see Henry standing there, staring at me.
“Uh, I gotta go, I’ll call you later.” I hang up before Emily can protest.
Henry folds his arms over his chest, a frown marring his handsome features. “So this isn’t up for discussion?”
“What isthis?” I counter.
“I want to be with you.”
“I thought you didn’t care.” My tone is cruel, but they’re his words.
He winces, and I’m glad they sting. “I was drunk, Mirabelle. Of course I care. I didn’t remember that conversation until a few days after I ran into you at the stadium.”
Ouch.“That was three and a half weeks ago, Henry. You had plenty of time to tell me you wanted to be with me, but instead you allowed Stacey to run an article sayingwe had gone our separate ways.” I can feel my temper starting to slip. “You didn’t even have the decency to send me a text saying we were over.”
“I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me. I’ve been trying to figure everything out, and come to terms with what Allison did, but I miss you. I’ve missed you every single day, and I’m miserable without you. I’ve spent nearly every single night drunk off my ass, and it hasn’t done a single goddamn thing to fix the part of me that is terrified of loving someone, and giving them that power over me. But being with you? You make me wantmore. You make me believe love can exist without strings attached. You make me want to confront my demons to be worthy of your love.”
“I’m glad you want more for yourself, but you shouldn’t do it for me. You need to do it for you,” I insist, and Henry steps closer to me, taking my face in his hands.
“Mirabelle, I want to be the type of man you deserve, and I’m willing to spend every day proving I’ll try to be him because I love you,” he says, and it’d be so easy to give in to him. “I’m going to regret letting you walk away for the rest of my life, but I’m begging you to forgive me.”
I want to believe him.
But it’s because I love Henry, that I choose him, even when he won’t.
“No.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Mirabelle
THE WETSUIT CLINGING to my skin is the only thing keeping me warm at this time of morning as the ocean laps at my legs straddling my surfboard. I got an early start today.
I spend nearly all my time out here now, entire days lost on the water as I stare into the distance, hoping if I stay out here long enough, I might find the answers to fix everything.
The rising sun reflects off the water as the salt air soothes the anxiety wreaking havoc in my mind.
Despite it being the middle of January, my cheeks and nose are sunburned from all the hours on my board.
I haven’t left the beach house since returning from Charlotte. I’ve never been more thankful to have a private beach. It’s my sanctuary from all the noise. Tom asked if I’d like him to stay on, but his family lives in Charlotte. I can’t ask him to stay in Wilmington when I’m not leaving the house, so I told him I’d let him know if I needed his services in the future.
The ocean is glass today, leaving little possibility for any surfing, but I like sitting out here regardless.
My mother paddles up next to me, sitting up on her board.
“Good morning,” she greets, and I offer her a faint smile in response. I trail my fingers through the water as she floats a few feet away.
My mind is plagued by memories of Henry. It’s hard to find a memory he isn’t a part of because I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t hopelessly in love with him.
“I told Dad last night I think one of these days you might turn into a mermaid with how much time you’ve been spending out here.”
A short chuckle escapes me, and I shake my head at her. “I think it’d be fun to grow a tail.”
“If it happens, make sure you let me know how, so I can join you.” Mom winks, her green eyes taking on a sea-green color from the water around us.
