Page 118 of Before You
“It seems like the norm unless you’re a business major,” I say, poking fun at his degree, knowing damn well how smart he is.
“See, this is why jocks are the inferior species,” Bria says to Marley as they walk back in.
“Are you using my blanket?” Marley asks, eyeing the colorful blanket Asher’s using.
“Nope, I found it on the couch, and definitely not in your room. I think you mean to say athletes are the superior species,” Asher corrects as Marley takes a seat next to me.
“He totally stole it from my room, and I cannot listen to Bria explain this again.” She groans, taking a peek at my screen. “Ew, on second thought, I think I’d rather hear about the distinction between an athlete and a jock again.”
I chuckle, shaking my head as I rest my arm on the top of the loveseat behind her. “You mean you don’t like learning about probability theory?”
“Sorry, I really don’t.” Marley makes a face at the same time my phone rings, and I reach for it blindly, slow to pull my gaze away from my girl.
Everything tilts when I see the blocked caller ID, and I freeze, staring at the screen for a moment before standing up. “I have to get this,” I mumble, taking long strides to step through the front door.Is it really him?
“Hello?” I say after shutting the front door behind me. It’s been drizzling all day, a chill looming in the air. “Bailey?”
“Hi,” he says, his voice quiet, and I feel all the air in my lungs disappear.
It’s the first time we’ve spoken since our argument about him living on the streets. Selfishly, I hate he’s calling right now when I’m finally okay and settling into a new normal. I hate how Bailey only calls me.I hate all of this.
“I didn’t know if I’d hear from you again.” At least I’m being honest.
“You’re not going to.”
The words send an icy chill through my veins, and the world around me slows to a stop. “What are you talking about?” I ask, trying not to vomit as my stomach churns
“This isn’t fair to you for me to keep calling. I just wanted to say goodbye so I could tell you I love you. I hung up last time before saying it, and I’m sorry,” Bailey says, sniffling as warning bells begin going off in my head.
“B, no, it’s really okay you call. This isn’t goodbye because I’m always going to be here for you.”
He’s slow to respond, and my anxiety is climbing to new heights I didn’t realize it was capable of before. “You shouldn’t be okay with this, and you certainly shouldn’t be there for me. I’ve done nothing to deserve it after I ruined everything. Tell our parents . . .” Bailey trails off, and my heart leaps into my throat.What’s changed? Why is everything so different now?“Please tell them I love them, and it wasn’t their fault. I was wrong, and I didn’t want to admit it.”
“Bailey, don’t you dare fucking end this call. Where are you? I’ll come get you, just please, come home, it’s okay,” I plead, tears burning in my eyes while the edges of my vision blur as pure panic begins to set in.
“It’s not. Too much has happened, but thanks for being a great brother. I love you, JJ,” he says, and the emotion in his voice wraps around my neck like a noose.
“Please—” I’m cut off by the phone beeping and I don’t know what to think.
I drag my hands through my hair, feeling like my heart has just been ripped straight out of my chest.
I take it back. I don’t hate he calls me. I don’t hate any of this.
How can I fix this?
Pills, they can fix this. I just have t—no. A meeting. I need to go to a meeting.
I pat my pants, fumbling for my keys, but they’re hanging inside on a hook next to the door. The door opens, and I swivel, watching as the relaxed smile on Asher’s face fades into an expression of seriousness as he steps out, shutting it behind him. My hand grabs at my chest, clutching my sweatshirt as I gasp for air. “JJ, holy shit.”
“I need my k-keys,” I struggle to say, choking because why did he have to say goodbye?
“What?” he asks, taking a step toward me as a fresh wave of agony rips through me. “Who just called you?”
You’re not going to.
There won’t be more calls. I close my eyes tight, praying this is a bad dream I can wake up from.But Bailey’s still gone, and I’m still suffocating.
I cough, trying to force my body to regulate itself, taking in enough air to help some of the spots dancing across my vision fade away. “Keys—need a meeting,” I choke out, and he opens the door again, snagging them quickly.
