Page 119 of Before You
“You’re not driving like this. I’ll sit in the car, or do whatever else it is you need me to do, but I’m not letting you go out there in this condition by yourself,” he says, staring at me. “I told you, I’m here.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, my head spinning as I grab the railing to take the stairs, Asher directly behind me. My phone dings with a text from Marley, asking if we’re coming back inside, but I don’t know how to answer. I know I don’t want to break her heart again by asking her to watch me fall apart.
If I can get to a meeting, I can get my head on straight, and face everythin—
“JJ, you gotta breathe,” Asher says, unlocking my Jeep. I climb into the passenger seat, tears falling down my cheeks.
“He’s gone,” I say, buckling my seatbelt, wishing more than anything I didn’t have to feel any of this pain.
“Who?” he asks, pulling out of the lot onto a road and turning in the direction of the town where I attend meetings.
“He’s not coming back,” I whisper, the horror of this reality sinking in. “I couldn’t convince him to come back, and he’s gone.Bailey’s fucking gone.What am I going to do, Ash?”
Asher looks at me, his features softened by sympathy. “You live.”
Instead, I see past his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the dark car a second before it slams into the driver’s side of my Jeep, causing us to roll not once, not twice, but three times. It makes it impossible for me to ever forget the sound of breaking glass and crunching metal, and the sight of my best friend going through the windshield before something hits my face and all I see is white.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Marley
“HOW MUCH LONGER do you think they’re going to be?” Bria asks, tugging on a Beaumont football sweatshirt I’d guess is Asher’s. I spin my thumb ring, my foot tapping anxiously as I stare at the door, willing JJ and Asher to walk through it any moment. Outside, I hear sirens getting louder as they drive by. It casts an eerie shadow, contributing to the rare dreary day we’re having.
“I don’t know,” I say, but I can’t shake the sinking feeling something isn’t right. I was going to check on JJ when Asher said he’d do it, but it was the way he snagged JJ’s keys a minute later without saying a thing. I looked through the blinds to watch them as they left before calling JJ, but he didn’t answer.
“You’re making me nervous, Mar. I’m just going to call Ash and ask when they’ll be back.”
I only caught a glimpse of JJ’s phone before he stood up, and it had to have been Bailey. It’s the only explanation. “Hey babe, just calling to see when you’ll be back? Hope everything’s okay,” she says, hanging up after leaving the message.
“Babe?” I ask, raising my eyebrow as I try to lighten the mood.
She rolls her eyes, but her cheeks flush with a crimson hue. “Shut up, it’s not a big deal.”
“Are you finally ready to admit you like him yet?” I mean, it’s not a secret because he’s been staying here a lot since Halloween, but the hard part has been getting Bria to admit she has feelings for him.
The corners of Bria’s mouth pull up into a smile not even she can fight. “Fine. Yes, I like him a lot.”Oh man, I can’t wait to tell JJ about this. He’s going to be so mad he missed it.Bria crosses her arms over her chest, swimming in the sweatshirt as she sighs. “Seriously, where are they?”
I don’t know,” I repeat, taking a glance at JJ’s assignments and laptop on the coffee table, before my gaze returns to the door, hoping for a miracle. If the call he received was from Bailey, I’m afraid to think of what might happen. He’s still early into his sobriety, and I think if anything were to make him relapse, it would be a call from his brother.
Every call seems to trigger something inside of JJ, sending him spiraling until he’s able to pull himself out of the trenches, but I’m not sure how much longer he can handle this.
Inhaling deeply, I try to remind myself Asher’s with him.Everything will be fine.
“What if you try JJ again?” she asks, standing up to pace, and it’s too much for me when I’m already barely keeping it together.
“Bria, I don’t know where they are, they’ll be back when they’re back,” I say, my grip on my nerves cracking, but when she bristles, I feel worse. Dragging my hands over my face, I press JJ’s number, my hand shaking as I hold it up to my ear. Each ring feels as if it’s taking an eternity, and finally, I get his voicemail. “No answer,” I mumble, trying not to let my mind run rampant with all the ways this can end in disaster.
“They’re going to be fine,” Bria says, taking a seat once more.
“Of course they are,” I say, wishing I believed the words coming out of my mouth.
The phone call I receive an hour later instead fractures our reality beyond repair, proving ignorance is, in fact, bliss.
~
JJ is sitting catatonic in the hospital bed when I get there as Bria distracts the nurses at the desk, making it possible for me to slip past them. He has a large bandage covering his temple and part of his forehead, but otherwise looks okay to my relief. Because of how many calls I made to his cell, someone finally called me back to let me know JJ had been in an accident. “JJ?” I ask, hesitating in the doorway. I didn’t see Asher’s name on any of the nearby rooms, but I refuse to let myself consider what it could mean.
His head shifts in my direction, but it’s the glazed expression on his face as I see the IV bag connected to him. JJ’s eyes are rimmed in red, but he closes them, turning away. I take it as a good sign he doesn’t tell me to leave, so I step forward, doing my best to tread lightly before attempting to take his hand.
