Page 15 of Before You
“Are you drinking tonight?” he asks, wrapping an arm over my shoulders, and I’m caught off guard by the question. Trent knows damn well where I stand when it comes to me and drinking.
“No, I’m not. You know I don’t drink,” I say, my tone stronger than I intend, but I’m not going to apologize.
I don’t mind being around others while they’re drinking, but it’s personally not something I choose to partake in.
My parents have always been honest with me and Kaden about our mother’s struggles with addiction. Her sobriety is something she works hard to keep, and I know the hereditary risk. They gave us all the information and told us it was our choice to decide what we were comfortable with, and I made mine. I decided I wouldn’t touch alcohol or pills because I’ve seen firsthand how they can destroy someone. Maybe I’m being overly cautious, but it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.
I guess that’s what finding your mom unconscious on the bathroom floor after overdosing on pills will do to a kid.
“I’m sorry. You’re absolutely right, I do know. I guess I wasn’t sure if you would change your mind after coming here.”
What does transferring colleges have to do with deciding whether to drink or not?
“It’s not something I’m going to change my mind about. You’re welcome to do whatever you want, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to do it with you,” I say, sliding out from under his arm. I feel like I’m not wrong for being hurt about this.Am I overreacting?
He puts his hands up in defense, genuinely seeming taken aback by my reaction to his question. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
I need to chill. I think I’m letting my nerves about all the people inside get to me, and I’m getting more upset than I should about this. “It’s okay, Trent. Let’s just go inside. I want to see what all the hype is about,” I say, forcing a smile and his shoulders visibly relax.
He seems relieved I still want to go inside, pulling me with him before I do something like change my mind.
It’s funny how I get stage fright about playing my guitar in front of others when I’m putting on the best damn show tonight, smiling at all the people Trent introduces me to. No one gives me a second look because right now, I’m not known by the zeros in my bank account. It’s a refreshing feeling, even if I’m being paraded around this party like a show pony, tugged in whatever direction Trent pulls my lead.
Everyone I see has a drink in their hand, including my boyfriend, who by now I’m certain has had more than the two he said he’d have.
I scan over the crowd from where I sit, perched on Trent’s lap as he talks to a couple of his friends. I’m not even sure what I’m looking for until my attention catches JJ leaning against a wall, talking to a pretty blonde girl.Who is she?
I flinch, realizing I shouldn’t be worried about JJ talking to anyone. Trent’s hand rests on my hip, and my cheeks burn with embarrassment. “You okay?” he asks, whispering into my ear, and I nod, forcing myself to look away from JJ.
“Sorry, just jumpy, I guess.” I stumble over my words, feeling like an idiot.What am I doing here?
“Marley, it’s okay to relax. I’m sorry about earlier. If you don’t want to drink, then I don’t want you to feel like you have to. It’s okay.” He presses a kiss to my shoulder, and I wish I felt like I did a month ago, before seeing JJ created pure chaos inside my head.
A month ago, I probably would have melted against him to keep the peace, but tonight, I’m swallowing back a sarcastic response on the tip of my tongue. I don’t need Trent to tell me it’s okay, because Iknowit’s okay. I don’t need his permission.
“I’m going to get some water,” I say instead, deciding it’s the safest option I have right now.
“Will you bring me back another drink?” he asks, not seeing anything wrong with what he just said, flashing me a smile I’d normally cave to. I realize one of his teammates is watching me, but I ignore it.
“If you give me your keys, then sure,” I say, standing up.
His handsome face twists in confusion, blinking at me in surprise. “Babe, I’ve barely had anything. It’s fine.”
I surprise both of us when I turn, walking away from him.
I find my way to the backyard, which still has people in it, but there are significantly less than inside the house. The temperature drops nearly ten degrees, and I greedily breathe in the cooler air, hoping it can soothe my frustration. There are coolers against the side of the house, but all I see after opening the lids, is hard seltzers and beer.Of course, there’s no water. It’s a college party, and I’m the abnormality.
A throat clears behind me, and I look over my shoulder to find JJ standing there. Something I didn’t notice before was the shirt he’s wearing, bringing out the green in his eyes.
“I thought you might want this?” he asks, offering me the water bottle in his hand.
I consider telling him no, but it’s so damn stuffy inside the house, and I’m not finding any others out here. “Thanks, JJ,” I say, accepting it.
He smiles, shrugging as if it’s not a big deal when my boyfriend couldn’t be bothered to save one for me. “No biggie. They’re hard to find at these, so I snagged one earlier before they were gone.”
The irony of this isn’t lost on me, and I should go back inside, but I don’t want to.
“Why are you out here? The party’s inside.” I motion toward the house, my head spinning with the emotional whiplash I’m feeling.
