Page 50 of Before You
My fingers brush across his jaw, feeling the dusting of stubble growing before cupping his cheek. His dark lashes flutter shut, a whimper escaping his lips I can’t stop staring at.Is this what it’s like to be so completely and desperately wanted?
“Marley, ask me to kiss you,please.”
I already was going to, but the sheer desperation in his voice makes my pulse skyrocket.
“JJ, will you kis—”
For all his talk about waiting to kiss me until I ask, JJ doesn’t even let me finish the question, his mouth pressing against mine with a gentleness silencing me. My hand on his cheek slides into his dark waves, curling into the short, soft strands.
Time stands still, and my whole world has shifted on its axis.
I move my lips against his as my other hand reaches to pull JJ against me, and when he presses mine into the door, my entire body hums at the feeling of rightness. Despite how tender he might be with me, there’s nothing soft about JJ’s body, including his hard-on pressing into my stomach.
A soft moan sounds from the back of my throat, and he tilts his head, pressing his lips firmer against mine. I gasp, arching into him as our kiss morphs into something untameable, his tongue sliding against mine as he devours me. The tension between us has been explosive, and I’m blown away by how much more of him I want.
I’m not a person who makes reckless choices, but the magnetic pull I feel toward JJ doesn’t feel reckless or like a choice. It feels like I’ve been spinning in circles, trying to fight it, but why? Why fight something that feels so right when I was trying to force something that never even felt half as good as this? JJ’s breaking years of practiced discipline and inhibited desires.
JJ is my absolute undoing.
His hand skims the bare skin on the back of my thigh, pouring gasoline on the fire already threatening to consume me. I hook my arms around the back of his neck, refusing to let him pull away regardless of how my lungs are protesting for air.
With an assuredness I wasn’t expecting, JJ’s hands lift me into the air, and I take advantage of the opportunity to wrap my legs around his waist. A groan rumbles from his chest, and I feel like a fucking fool for not asking him to kiss me sooner. When my back is pressed against the door again, my body aches for more as our hips line up.
I want to know every part of him I’ve missed out on.
“Fuck,” JJ mumbles, pulling away as he pants, his breathing shallow.
I can feel him pressing against me, and I twist his short hair through my fingers as my heart races in my chest. “Wow,” I murmur, a little in disbelief at how easy it is to lose myself in him. Is it bad I want to kiss him again?
“Marley, I . . . fuck, sorry, I can’t think holding you like this,” he says, his cheeks flushing as a shy smile tugs at his lips, completely contradicting the caveman way he has me pressed against this door.
“You can put me down,” I say, combing my fingers through his soft strands.
“I don’t really want to do that either, but I think talking is a good idea,” JJ says, but he doesn’t move an inch.
“JJ?” I ask, choosing to make the first move by unwinding myself from around him, making sure my good ankle touches down first. He said he wants to talk, and I want to respect it. A breather is probably a good idea anyway.
It was no less special than our kisses in France, but just as we’ve both changed, the time apart seems to have only made the intensity between us grow from a slow flame to a raging wildfire.
He shuts his eyes, turning his head. “Need a minute, baby,” he says, his mouth pressing into a thin line as his throat bobs. JJ draws in a ragged breath, and I would give anything to know what he’s thinking.
When JJ’s eyes open, focusing on me, all the air in my lungs is stolen away by the visceral desire I recognize in his eyes. He pushes off the door, taking a step back, it seems like it takes all of his effort, especially when he drags a hand over his jaw.
“I don’t think we’re very good at starting over,” I say, trying to lighten the moment.
JJ tilts his head, a dimple appearing as his full lips curl into a breathtaking smile. “No, Marley, we’re not, but that’s okay because I don’t want to forget a single second with you.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JJ
FOR THE SECOND time, I’ve been absolutely shattered by a kiss from Marley Benson. Trying to keep my hands off her is so damn hard, but I’m fighting every urge I have to take her into my arms and kiss her the way I desperately want to. I’m embarrassed by how carried away I got, losing the battle against my self-control when I heard the sweet sounds she made as I kissed her, pulling me closer.
In the two weeks since, I haven’t allowed myself to kiss her again, despite it being all I think about. Especially when she looks at me, chewing on her bottom lip while staring at mine, and I can tell she’s thinking about kissing me because I’m thinking about kissing her.
I’m trying to do the right thing and take it slow because even though I pressed Marley up against a door while kissing her senselessly, I don’t want her to think the only reason I want to be with her is that I find her attractive. I didn’t wait eight hundred and ninety-two days to find Marley again to ruin it all by becoming preoccupied with sex.
Is it weird for me to still be in love with her?
