Page 64 of Before You
I have never wanted anyone the way I want JJ. He’s the only thing I’ve ever dared to let myself want. I love music, but it’ll only ever be a hobby. I can’t think of it as anything else, no matter how tempting it might be to let myself consider more.
I’m honestly not even sure I know who I am, but the way JJ makes me feel like it’s okay to color outside the lines to find out means more to me than he could ever know.
I love the way he’s my biggest cheerleader, and how he makes me feel like I’m the center of his universe.It’s an addicting feeling to be loved by JJ.I’m done worrying about how soon it is or what anyone else thinks becausefuck themif they can’t understand the way I feel when I’m with him.
The most beautiful thing about JJ isn’t how physically attractive he is, but rather how big his heart is for the people lucky enough to be loved by him.
“Marley,” JJ says, and his throat bobs as he swallows, the energy in the room shifting.
“What?” I ask, my voice breathy. My fingers fidget with the bottom of my shorts, but I can’t look away from him.
“If you’re waiting for permission to kiss me, this is my explicit consent begging you to kiss me whenever you want.” JJ’s smile is lopsided and beautiful. “I’m yours, Mar. I always have been.”
The happiness he makes me feel is more than I could have hoped for.
He reaches out the instant I’m in front of him, tugging me closer, his hands sliding over my hips. I straddle his strong thighs as I loop my arms around his neck, leaning in to press my lips against his. JJ’s nose bumps against mine as he kisses me back, his fingers pressing into my lower back through my shirt.I want to know what it feels like to have him touch me everywhere.
“I’m yours too,” I whisper against his lips. The audible hitch in his breath makes my heart sing, and I can’t believe what a fool I was for naively believing one day in France could ever be enough. It should terrify me how much I want JJ, but it doesn’t.
“I’ve never wanted anything more,” JJ says, tilting his head to kiss me again. His lips are soft as they move against mine, and it feels so damn right, my heart might explode.
My shirt rides up a little as I shift, wanting to be closer, and his touch is featherlight as his fingertips dance over my skin. It makes every part of me yearn for more. I part my lips, and JJ follows my lead, deepening the kiss. His tongue tangles with mine, and I curl my fingers in the short strands on the back of his head.
More. Please, more.
I reach down to the hem of my shirt, my pulse racing, but before I can start to pull it off, JJ angles his head back. His eyes are hazy as they scan over my face before finding mine as he inhales a ragged breath. “Are you good?” JJ asks, his voice hoarse.
“I’m good. I was just . . . I was going to take my shirt off? Are you okay?”
“Definitely—nowhere else I’d rather be.”
It gives me the boost in confidence needed to pull my shirt off, acutely aware of the rise and fall of my chest from how hard I’m breathing. His full lips part as he stares like he’s committing the sight of me wearing a sports bra to memory. Slowly, JJ lifts his head to look at me, pure desire shining in his handsome features.
“You’re breathtaking,” JJ says, shaking his head, chuckling to himself. “If you only knew how many times I pictured this moment over the last two and a half years.”
“What did you picture?” I ask, my breath trembling as JJ’s fingers skate higher up my side.
“I’d rather show you.”
Yes,please.
I nod eagerly, and JJ rolls us to lie on top of me, bracing himself over me. His pelvis presses perfectly against me, and I can feel how hard he is.
His eyes are normally such a clear green, but right now, they’re a hazy moss. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them this color before. I cup his face, feeling the prickle of his stubble. “JJ,” I whisper, tracing the curves and edges of his face. I want to memorize every detail.
“Marley.”
I’m so irrevocably gone for this man.
I shift restlessly underneath the weight of his body, needing more friction, and JJ chuckles. “I pictured kissing you here,” he says, leaning down to kiss the corner of my mouth. “Here.” His mouth presses against the curve of my jaw and then where my pulse races. I tip my head back into the comforter, my eyes tempted to flutter shut when JJ lights me on fire. “Eyes on me, sweetheart.” I look at him, my head dizzy and he tilts his head to the side, resulting in my head nearly exploding when I realize he means for me to watch in my full-length mirror.
Holy shit.
“Keep going,” I say, locking eyes with him in the mirror.
His mouth is soft on the skin above my collarbone, and a quiet moan slips from my lips when he teases the sensitive spot with his tongue. “I thought about here,” he mumbles against the swell of my breast, and seeing JJ positioned over me while feeling his lips on my skin is sensation overload. I twist my fingers through his hair causing a groan to rumble from him. “And I’ve really thought about here,” JJ says, pressing a searing kiss directly on my nipple through the sports bra.It’s not enough.
“Please, JJ—” No sooner than his name leaves my mouth, JJ’s silencing me with a desperate kiss making my toes curl. He grinds his hips against me, and I bunch the fabric of his shirt in my fists, holding him close. I need more of him.
