Page 66 of Before You
I sit back so JJ can see I’m telling the truth. “Not even to Trent. He said it to me, but it always felt like a form of manipulation, and I never said it back. I didn’t feel that way for him, and I refused to lie because I couldn’t figure out how to love him when I was still utterly in love with you.”
It starts slow before his face breaks wide open into the most earth-shattering smile. “You know, Marley, for someone who claims to be terrible at expressing their feelings, you just did a pretty damn good job.”
I return his smile with a relieved one of my own, lean forward to press a sweet kiss to his cheek. “Only for you. Are we okay?”
“We were never not okay. If I’ve learned one thing from my parents, it’s the relationships worth having are the ones that take work. I’m not going anywhere just because you hurt my feelings. It’s going to take more than hurt feelings to get rid of me. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me,” JJ reassures me, and I breathe a sigh of relief because there’s no one else I’d rather be stuck with.
And then, breaking the moment, JJ’s stomach rumbles loudly, and a blush crawls up his neck. I laugh, covering my mouth to attempt to stop, but I can’t, especially not when JJ begins laughing too.
“Are you hungry?” I ask, smiling wider as his dimples poke through.
“I guess so. I’m not really sure the last time I ate,” JJ admits while I pull my T-shirt back on.
I slide off the bed, offering him my hand. “Then let’s get you some food. There should be leftovers from last night to eat.”
He takes my hand, but instead pulls me back to him to kiss me deeply, taking me by surprise. “I’d much rather eat you,” he says after pulling away, leaving me craving more. JJ stands up, his hands skating down my sides to linger at my hips.
I can honestly say I’ve never met anyone like JJ. I don’t want to mess this up.
His stomach rumbles again, protesting his statement. I laugh, patting his stomach. “I think a different part of you would prefer real food.”
JJ raises an eyebrow. “I can think of a couple parts of me that’d be plenty satisfied with just you, but you might be right. To the kitchen we go,” he says, confusing me as he bends down and suddenly I’m hanging upside down over his shoulder.
“JJ!” I shriek, holding on tightly to him.
“Yes, dear?”
“What are you doing?” I ask, laughter spilling from me as JJ starts to walk out of my room.
“I’m going to the kitchen. What are you doing?” JJ asks, turning my question around.
“Staring at your ass because you’re holding me over your shoulder like a caveman,” I retort, taking the opportunity to ogle him.
“Good thing it’s a great ass,” he says, and my smile doesn’t fade the rest of the evening.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JJ
“DUDE, I THINK Bria might agree to go out with me,” Asher says, waggling his eyebrows, and I roll my eyes.
“Pretty sure you said the same thing last week too,” I retort, adjusting the strap of my backpack as my stomach turns.Just a couple more hours. I can do it.
“Has she said anything to you?” he asks, looking like a damn lovesick puppy.
“Marley?” I ask, playing dumb to distract myself from how shitty I’m feeling.
Asher shoves his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. “I meant Bria, but if Marley’s said anything about my chances, then by all means feel free to share.”
Sometimes I have a love hate relationship with this campus and how spread out everything is, especially when walking back from the library to the nearest lot is a mile away. “Not really. Bria and I don’t talk about that stuff, and the one time I asked for you, Marley shut me down citing ‘girl code,’” I say, wiping at the sweat dripping down the back of my neck. “If you really want her to go out with you, maybe don’t hit on Mirabelle in front of her this weekend.”
Asher laughs next to me, and I catch sight of one of the fountains Marley and I splashed around in, and some of the tightness in my chest eases.
I’m trying to cut back on the pills, but it’s causing my anxiety to skyrocket, forcing me to feel everything they block out. Tylenol works to an extent for my knee, but I’ve been in the training room every day this week with Billy, and I haven’t been able to run nearly as much. My insomnia has only gotten worse, and I spend half the night staring at the ceiling or the drawer the pill bottle is in as my mind runs rampant.
But, even with everything, the only time I’ve caved and taken enough to feel normal was during our away game last weekend where we beat the crap out of the University of Northern Washington in Seattle.
Asher nudges my arm, and I glance at him. “What?”
