Page 25 of Murder & Mayhem
His cheeks went from pink to red. “Now, what exactly are you asking me, Jamie? I don’t think you’re in a good place now to—” I couldn’t believe I was preemptively turning him down, but while I might be a murderer, I wasn’t a monster, and I didn’t think he was in the place to make a decision like that.
“Just to shower. I don’t want anything else. Just, don’t leave me alone. I-I can’t be alone right now.”
Jamie’s voice broke and he looked away again, but the vulnerability in his tone had me pulling my shirt over my head and tossing it to the side. That and the white lines along his inner thigh. I didn’t know the boy well enough to jump to those conclusions, but he was struggling, and if those were self-imposed . . . then yeah. If he was asking for help, I was gonna give it.
I left my underwear on as a reminder to myself as much asto make Jamie comfortable. Ignoring the puddle of water on the bathroom floor—I’d deal with that later—I slipped inside the shower. I closed the door and joined Jamie under the stream. I’d never been more grateful for my amazing water tank as the hot water beat down on my shoulders. It was worth every penny I’d spent.
Jamie and I were facing each other with only inches separating us. My nostrils flared as I tried desperately not to breathe. Shower. Get us clean and give the boy the security he needed. That was it.
Since Jamie made no effort to reach for any of the shower stuff, I grabbed my shampoo and poured some into my hand. “Turn around, sweetheart.”
Jamie’s eyes held questions, but he obeyed without voicing them. I started to massage the shampoo through his locks.
Jamie’s body rocked as the tension left him inch by inch the longer I worked on his hair.
I was taking much longer than necessary, but watching Jamie relax made it worth it.
Eventually, I had to move on. I rinsed out the shampoo and then added a small amount of conditioner. My body was heavy with exhaustion, so I forced myself not to linger as long. I wanted to give Jamie all the pampering, but it would have to wait. I could only hope I’d have another opportunity one day.
Once the conditioner was rinsed out, I grabbed the puff that was on the shelf and poured a generous amount of body wash onto it. Jamie was breathing softly, with his chin resting against his chest. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was half asleep. I started with his back so he didn’t have to move yet.
I was probably crossing a thousand lines by washing him. Jamie had only asked for me to stay with him, not this. But he hadn’t asked me to stop or given any hint of discomfort, so I gave in to my impulse and continued towash him. The situation wasn’t sexual at all. Jamie was completely soft, and that was enough to keep me from chubbing up completely.
I washed his back, again more thoroughly than was necessary, before moving lower. I went to my knees behind him, and I noticed Jamie tense a fraction. I knee-walked back a few steps, leaving as much space as I could manage.
“If you want me to stop, all you gotta do is say the words, Jamie. I won’t do anything you don’t want. Even this.”
Jamie’s breath hitched and a shiver ran under his skin despite the warm water. “Don’t stop.”
I bit my lip hard so hard I was lucky it didn’t bleed. I wanted to taste him, lick a trail down his thighs, kiss every single one of those scars, and a thousand other inappropriate things. My underwear clung to my skin, and I was glad Jamie wasn’t facing me. I might not have a boner, but I was more of a shower than a grower, and you could see just about everything now, despite the fabric. I added more shower gel and carefully washed his lower half. Maybe I was a saint after all because I managed not to get hard, even with the little moans and fucking sounds Jamie kept making.
“Turn around, beautiful.”
His breathing was harsh and rapid, but he did. Since I was already on my knees, with my head down, I started on his legs. When I got to his cock, I hesitated. Finally, I forced my eyes up and looked at Jamie and waited for permission.
His pupils were dilated, lips parted, his body rocking slightly.
“Please,” he said, barely above a whisper.
I lathered my hand and cleaned his still flaccid cock. Little white lines covered the length and on his balls. I gritted my teeth. The fucker was already dead. I couldn’t make Joey Byrne more dead, no matter how much I wished it. Getting angry would only upset Jamie.
I had questions that I managed not to ask. I kind of assumed Jamie was gay, or at least not heterosexual, but now I was having doubts. Though, I knew plenty of men who would swear that they were heterosexual and would still be getting hard if another man cleaned his cock and balls while his face was even with said cock. But Jamie wasn’t at all. He seemed to be enjoying himself, but maybe I was reading this situation all wrong. I finished quickly, careful not to linger for even a second before standing to wash his chest.
The scarring there was even worse than his legs and back. If I didn’t know better, I would’ve thought Sabretooth had gotten hold of him. Four long gashes spread across his pecs and through his left nipple, leaving it mangled, down to his side. They weren’t the only ones, but they were certainly the most prominent. My fingers traced across them, possibly too long because Jamie was suddenly blinking out of his half trance and stepping back.
“Let me wash you,” he hurried. “This shower is fucking amazing by the way.” He was rambling, deflecting, and I hated it. He was clearly uncomfortable with the scars, even more so than the rest of his body, or maybe he was coherent enough now to be bothered. “How is it still warm?”
I gave him a lopsided smile and took another step back, giving him the space he needed. “I spent a small fucking fortune on the water tank. Worth every damn penny though.”
Jamie licked his lips. “Yeah, for sure. Never been in a shower that the water stayed hot for longer than 5 minutes, and hot is being generous.”
“I remember those days. I was in one foster home before I met Gid and Ari that only let us use hot water as a reward. Everyone else had to share, two at a time, an ice-cold shower. We’d be punished if we took longer than five minutes, too.After that, once I was old enough and had the money, I became bougie as fuck about that kinda stuff.”
Jamie looked thoughtful. “I guess that’s one good thing I could say about Joey. He never did that.”
I hummed noncommittally. I wasn’t really in the mood to say anything positive about the fucker, but I wouldn’t negate whatever Jamie said. After a beat, I started to wash myself. Even though he had mentioned doing it before, he made no effort once I started, and I would never ask. He was watching me though, his eyes hot and heavy as I quickly cleaned up, way quicker than I’d done Jamie.
Once I was finished, I shut off the water and opened the door. I grabbed a white, fluffy towel for Jamie off the rack. They weren’t warm, the towel warmer was more Ari’s thing, but they were soft as fuck. I wrapped it around him as he stepped out, drying him a bit before tightening it around his waist. Jamie didn’t say a word about being able to do it himself. When he turned his back to me, I ditched my soaking wet boxers and wrapped a towel around me.
