Page 4 of Knox
He let her hand go, and it flew to her lips as she looked at me. “You aren’t twenty yet!”
“No, but the deal is done,” Ian said, and she nodded.
“It is.” She turned to Ian again. “Tomorrow, MacGraeme. I’ll bring her.”
Lana walked out of the barn, a little strut in her step, as if she hadn't torn my heart from my chest and stomped on it.
Ian pulled me into a hug, and the scent of aftershave washed over me from behind as Finn joined us. He wore the suit this morning and didn't want horseshit anywhere near his long wool coat.
"What just happened?" I mumbled into Ian's neck, breathing in his scent, which reminded me of what a dad should smell like—home.
Granpa didn’t smell like home, and I never felt welcome in his house. Hadn’t felt welcome anywhere until Uncle Ian came home and I realized he didn’t know about me. Mom tried, but she didn’t know what to say to me, and backed down to Ethan too much. It broke something between us. She would never have done this.
Finn’s hand pressed to the back of my head, and my eyes burned. The day was way too long, and it was only noon. Ethan would have told me men didn’t cry.
Still didn’t know what a man was based on his definition. According to Ian, a man was human with hopes and fears, and it was okay to be emotional with people you trusted and not the world.
"Are you okay?” Ian asked.
“No,” I shook my head. “I’m not. Why didn’t Jasper tell me?”
I was confused over the whole thing. Jasper could have said he wanted to marry her, and I’d have let him go.
“He didn’t know anything until Marcus told him last week, Josh,” Finn said. “MacDaniels saw you and Jasper during the play, and approached Marcus for Jasper. They’d been in negotiations for months, waiting for the horse. She’s three, and Marcus wanted to race her against Hellfire.”
Hellfire belonged to Damon, another of Finn’s brothers. Their mother, Matilda, had a lot of sons and one daughter, Bri, who was in the drama class Ian taught.
I took a deep breath and sorted out everything Finn had said.
Jasper had known for a week.
We didn't include me; it meant Lana.
He'd lied to me.
“Josh?” Ian’s eyebrows rose. “How do you feel?”
“Numb.” It was the truth. Hadn’t really hit me yet that Jasper didn’t want me. He’d been pulling away for the last few days, and I just thought we were busy. I had a new job, and he was seeing someone else. Uncle cupped my face with both hands, and my gaze met his. “What does this mean?”
“Jasper is four months older than you, Josh. You can’t officially do anything as far as the Macs are concerned until your birthday,” Finn said. “Technically, it means nothing for the public.”
“Okay.” Couldn’t handle that humiliation on top of everything else. Had enough to last a lifetime and didn’t need anymore.
Chapter 3
KnightTimeDanc3r
Ian sent me home to shower after Lana left. Rehearsals didn't start until four, so I had time to do nothing. Too much time. Shock gave way to anger when I entered the bedroom; my hopes of forgetting were lost. Pieces of Jasper scattered across the room like confetti. The bear he'd won for me at the arcade in the bowling alley greeted me from the bookshelf. The hoodie he gave me to wear the night we took a walk through the woods and it was chilly; the little doll he'd made out of hay…
Now, every smile and touch felt like a trap. Jasper needed a place to stay and a job. Training to work in a stable because his brothers wouldn't let him work with them. The guy had used me, come onto me, and paid me in sex.
I found an empty packing box that hadn't made it to the recyclables and began tossing everything from the relationship in it.
How had I been so stupid? Why did I ever think he could have been interested in me? Loved me?
My father didn't. Mom? Hah. She didn't even talk to me until Uncle Ian did.
Maybe Ethan was right, and I was a waste of space.
