Page 59 of The Lovers
“Thank ye, yer ladyship, but I must be away,” Lizzie replied shyly. “If you’ll leave the dishes, I’ll do them first thing tomorrow mornin’ for ye when I bring breakfast.” She executed another curtsey and left, taking the empty basket with her.
The stew was delicious, and Elise ate her fill before declaring herself ready for bed. Peg helped her undress and brushed out her hair while James saw to the dirty dishes and covered the remaining bread so that it wouldn’t grow stale overnight. There was no need for a fire since the night was warm, so Elise said good night and closed her door. Barbara was already in her bed, snoring lightly behind the curtains. Elise longed to talk to James, but nothing other than pleasantries had been exchanged between them thus far, and Peg was constantly about, making it difficult to find a moment of privacy. Elise wasn’t concerned about Barbara overhearing them, but Peg was a different matter.
Elise drifted off to sleep only to be woken what seemed like a few moments later by the opening of her door. She peered into the darkness, trying to make out who it was. She thought it might be Barbara but discovered James standing by the foot of the bed. He looked uncertain for a moment, then came around and climbed in next to Elise. This was not what she expected, but she shifted her body to make room for him. James didn’t say anything, just cupped her cheek, stroking her face with his thumb tenderly.
Elise opened her mouth to ask him what he thought he was doing when his lips came down on hers and he kissed her gently. This wasn’t a passionate kiss, brought on by desire; this kiss was tender and full of feeling. She knew that she should push him away and ask him to leave, no good could come of this, but something at her core seemed to melt. It had been so long since anyone touched her, especially with love. James’s hand slid downward and restedon the swell of her belly. He didn’t say anything, but she knew the gesture for what it was. He was claiming ownership and making a connection with his child. He’d never touched her this way before, had never gazed into her eyes like this, fearing too great an intimacy. But now he was looking at her, and she was looking back.
Elise reached out and stroked his face. His jaw was covered with three-day stubble, and his cheeks seemed leaner than before, as if he hadn’t been eating well of late. He sighed quietly when she ran her hand over his well-muscled chest. Elise felt James’s heartbeat beneath her fingertips. His heart seemed to be pounding, or was that hers?
Elise expected James to say something, but he suddenly got out of bed, kissed her on the forehead, and vanished into the other room, leaving her completely bemused. Elise gazed after him for a long moment, unsure if he might be coming back, then closed her eyes and willed herself to go to sleep. It had been a long day, and they’d have plenty of time to talk later.
FORTY-TWO
NOVEMBER 2013
Surrey, England
When Quinn woke up on Saturday morning after her fragmented night of sleep, she felt grumpy and depressed. Her head ached, and random scenes from the awful dream kept popping into her mind. The row with Gabe weighed heavily on her mind, and she suddenly felt like a caged animal, desperate to get out. She made herself a cup of strong coffee, dressed hastily, and fled the house. She needed to talk to someone, and that someone was Jill.
Quinn glanced at the dashboard clock. It had just gone 9:00 a.m., so by the time she got to London, Jill would just be opening her shop. Quinn didn’t think Jill would mind her popping by. She was in the shop alone all day, and Quinn was more than willing to help out with whatever needed doing. She had no wish to be underfoot, only to enjoy a bit of her cousin’s company. She picked up two cappuccinos and several almond croissants on the way. She hadn’t had anything to eat since lunchtime of the previous day, and Jill, despite her slender build, was always up for a cup of coffee and a pastry.
Jill was already working, rearranging some summer clothes on a rack closest to the door and marking them down for a clearance sale in order to make room for new winter inventory. She was wearing a long colorful blouse with a pair of black leggings and comfortable suede boots. Jill’s blonde hair was piled high onher head, errant curls framing her lovely face as she smiled in welcome.
“Have you come to return your clothes?” she asked with a look of mock horror. “All sales are final,” she added with a chuckle, although of course they weren’t.
“No, I’ve come to buy more. And to talk.”
“And you’ve brought treats.” Jill oohed as she took in the box of pastries and the steaming cups of cappuccino. “I’ve been here since seven, reorganizing all these racks. People just hang things up willy-nilly without any thought for size or order.” Jilly pouted, the pedant in her clawing its way out.
“Not everyone thinks like an accountant, Jilly. Most people prefer chaos.”
“Hmm, you’re probably right,” Jill replied as she scooped up several pairs of jeans and organized them according to size. She gave Quinn her full attention once the merchandise had been arranged to her satisfaction. Jill gratefully accepted the coffee, plucked a croissant out of the box, and perched on a high stool behind the counter, gesturing for Quinn to take the other chair. Quinn sat down as well and sipped her own cappuccino, unsure of how to begin.
“What happened, coz?” Jill asked, skipping small talk as usual. “You look like death warmed over.”
“I had a terrible row with Gabe last night,” Quinn confessed.
“Ah, let me guess,” Jill said with an impish grin. “Gabe came by, told you that he’s loved you for years, and demanded that you fall into his arms right there and then?”
Quinn bristled. “Now, why would you assume that?”
“The man has been in love with you for nearly a decade. Everyone could see it except you. You were so blinded by Luke that a meteor could have struck central London, and you wouldn’t have noticed.”
“I thought you liked Luke,” Quinn protested, slightly wounded by Jill’s assessment of her grasp on reality.
Jill gave Quinn a pitying look. “Quinn, you liked Luke. You liked him so much that no one could say a word against him, not even your parents. But now he’s gone, and you have a chance to be with someone who might actually make you a priority in his life.”
“And you think that person is Gabe?” Quinn asked, already sure of Jill’s answer.
“I think that life gives us a couple of chances to be happy, and if we miss those chances, we regret them forever.” Quinn knew that Jill was speaking from experience. She’d been single for several years now, and she bitterly regretted not making a commitment to someone who loved her when she had the chance, choosing her demanding career over her personal life. Jill’s ex-boyfriend Paul, who’d proposed to Jill several times before finally taking the hint, was now happily married to someone else and a father of twin girls. He still sent Quinn Christmas cards every year, and last year’s card had been the cutest yet. Jill had chucked in her career in the end, but it’d been too late to rekindle her romance with Paul. He’d moved on.
“I was happy with Luke,” Quinn replied defensively, tossing the better part of her croissant in the rubbish bin. She was no longer hungry.
“Were you?” Jill asked, her expression all innocence.
“I thought I was. We wanted the same things in the beginning, but then my priorities changed,” Quinn confessed. “Iwanted to get married. And I wanted children,” Quinn added miserably. She’d never told Jill that Luke was ambivalent about children. She would have had something to say about that, and she would have been right.
“Quinn, I am all for the empowerment of women and equality in the workplace, but men and women are not the same and never will be. Our needs are different because our bodies are different. You might not have wanted a family in your early twenties, but you’re thirty now, and like it or not, your body is reminding you of that. You wanted commitment and the promise of a family with Luke, but he still wanted the same things he desired when you first met, and he got them. He can play the field for another twenty years if he wishes and then change his mind and have a family after all. You, as a woman, are not on the same time schedule and cannot be expected to wait indefinitely until he’s ready to settle down.”
