Page 78 of The Lovers
“I would like that very much, me lady.”
“Are you well, Elise?” James asked over Mercy’s head. Elise nodded, unable to speak. What could she say? She was well enough physically, and there was no need to tell James of the conversation between her and Edward. He knew the truth of their arrangement and his own part in it, and he was just as bitter and angry as she was at being used so cruelly.
“I will send Peg to the cottage with a basket of food. She’ll leave it on the doorstep. Get some rest.”
“Thank you. I’ll see you in a few days,” James said as he handed Mercy her bundle and took his horse by the reins. He wouldn’t be leaving it at the house stable, not when Edward could return at any moment. James’s eyes softened when he took in Elise’s rounded belly, and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he raised his hand in farewell.
“And I will see you,” Elise replied and hoped it was true.
FIFTY-EIGHT
Elise spent the next few days in a state of acute anxiety. She kept waiting to hear that James had taken ill, and she asked Peg several times a day if she’d seen anything when she delivered the food basket to the cottage. Peg assured her that all was well. James promised that he would keep the curtains open as long as he and Mercy were well, and he would close the curtains as a signal if one of them displayed any symptoms. Peg often found Mercy looking out the window and waving vigorously when she spotted Peg walking toward the cottage.
Elise thanked God that Mercy didn’t seem to be infected, but it was James to whom her thoughts strayed a thousand times a day. She’d never imagined what it would feel like to lose him, but now that the possibility was real, Elise realized that life without James in it held no interest for her. She’d hated him for so long that she hadn’t realized how much she’d grown to care for him. James never spoke of his feelings, nor did he ask anything of her, but Elise knew with an unwavering certainty that James cared for her and their baby. Had the circumstances of their meeting been different, they might have enjoyed a courtship, but their entire relationship had progressed backward, starting with consummation and creeping slowly toward love and respect. And if James took ill, she would lose him as well, as she had lost everyone she loved.
Elise recruited Peg to walk with her to the church. She had no right to ask God to spare James; he didn’t belong to her. But she prayed for him, nonetheless. She hadn’t asked Edward to bring James to her bed, nor did she give herself leave to care for him, but now that her feelings were crystal clear to her, the fear of losinghim was overwhelming. They belonged together; they were a family, and Edward was the outsider. Surely in the eyes of God she was wed to James, wasn’t she?
The household breathed a collective sigh of relief when a week went by and no symptoms of the plague manifested. Elise and Peg walked to the cottage, eager to see James and Mercy. Mistress Benford tutted with disapproval as they prepared to set off, reminding Elise of Dr. Samuels’s sage advice, but Elise waved her off. She was tired of sitting around and brooding. A walk would do her good.
“How are you feeling?” Elise asked Mercy, who looked well rested and adequately fed after a week of doing little more than moping about the house.
“Bored,” Mercy said with feeling.
“Then you must be well.”
“Can I go to the ’ouse? I’ve never been to a grand ’ouse afore, and I…” Mercy grew silent, believing to have overstepped the bounds of propriety.
“Of course, you can go. You can walk back with Peg. I’d like a word with your uncle, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, I don’t mind,” Mercy said. “He is surly and won’t play with me.”
“Well, maybe if you’re nice to Pete, he’ll play with you after he’s finished his work in the stables. He’s only a few years older than you, and he knows all kinds of games.”
Mercy’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yes. But will ’e want to play with me? Boys don’t like playing with girls, do they?”
“Depends what the game is,” Peg replied with a wicked chuckle. “Come along, Mistress Mercy. We’ll find some way of lifting yer sagging spirits.”
Mercy skipped in front of Peg as they walked down the path leading toward the house. James remained in the doorway, looking at Elise as a slow smile spread across his face. He looked well, and Elise breathed out a sigh of relief, certain now that he wouldn’t take ill.
“It’ll take more than the plague to get rid of me,” he said as he moved aside to let her through. Elise hesitated for a moment, then followed him inside the cottage. She’d expected to find squalor, but the cottage was clean and tidy, the clean dishes stacked on a shelf and a pot of something savory bubbling over the fire.
“Did you make that?” Elise asked.
“No, that was Mercy. Quite the little madam, that one. I have some ale. Would you like a cup?”
Elise shook her head. What she wanted was for James to take her in his arms, but the distance between them felt too great for some reason. Nothing had really changed but everything had. Elise looked up to find James watching her. His head was cocked to the side, and there was an odd expression on his face. Confusion mingled with longing as he took a step closer. This was her moment, and Elise seized it with all the impetuousness of the young. She walked into James’s arms and laid her head on his shoulder. “James, I…”
James held her close and kissed the top of her head. He smelled clean, as if he’d recently bathed, and Elise could feel the warmth of his body through the thin linen of his shirt.
“It was inevitable, you and I, wasn’t it?” he said quietly.
Elise nodded into his chest. Her heart thumped with a joyful rhythm as she turned her face up, smiling at him. “Will you not kiss me, Master Coleman?”
James lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. They were soft and gentle, and her heart beat as if it might gallop straight out of her chest. She’d lain with James many times, but this was entirely different. This time she was a willing participant and not a pawn in a game she didn’t know the rules to. This time she had a say.
James kicked the door shut with his foot and led her to the bedroom. The bed was narrow and hard, and the linens none too fine, but Elise didn’t notice a thing as James helped her out of her gown. His hands shook with impatience as he undid the laces of the bodice and nearly ripped the ties of her skirt. At last she was standing in front of him in her chemise, and James sank to his knees and pressed his lips to the swell of her belly as he held it with his large hands. Elise felt a wave of tenderness for this man who’d never really known love. He would have it from her and their child; she’d make sure of that. Edward would have his heir, but Elise would have her love.
This time, their lovemaking was slow and tender. There was no rush, no ultimate goal. They had time, and they had each other. They explored each other’s bodies in ways they’d never done before, taking pleasure in giving the other joy. Strange how something they’d done numerous times before had taken on a whole new meaning, and when they finally came together, it was as if they were two pieces of one whole, joining together seamlessly in a conclusion that had been inevitable from the very start. Instead of the tension that Elise usually felt, she experienced a pleasure the likes of which she’d never known. James wasn’t just doing his duty, he was making love to her, and she soaked up his devotion as dry earth soaks up the first drops of long-awaited rain.
