Page 78 of Bleeding Hearts
“When did you become so brave?” she murmurs.
“The moment I realized I could lose you,” I reply as I lean in and kiss her hand between us, my eyes on her. “I can be brave forboth of us if need be. Fuck your family, you have one right here—one who will always have your back, fight in your corner, and never let you feel that way. You are so loved, Lally, and one day you’ll realize that, but until then, I’ll keep reminding you. We all will. We are right here, ready to fight with you. That’s all that matters, okay? I wish I met you sooner. I wish I could have been with you when they hurt you, but I’m here now, and no one will ever hurt you again.”
I feel her swallow against my hand as I stroke her throat. Her lashes are wet from her tears, and she looks so young, I wonder if this is how she looked when her family hurt her. How could they see their daughter and turn their backs on her? How could they look into her face and break her heart?
She didn’t deserve any of it, but I will spend the rest of my life giving her the love she should have had all along.
“I love you,” she murmurs. “I love you so fucking much.”
“You better.” I smile. “Because I love you, even when you’re being a pain in the ass.”
She laughs and tugs me closer. “Me? You’re the brat here, baby.”
“Only with you,” I retort. “I feel safe being that way with you.”
“Good.” Her lips press to my hair. “We’ll be safe places for each other.” Leaning back slightly, she taps her lip, and I frown. “This means I love you, okay? No matter where we are or what’s happening, this means I’m there and I love you.” I copy it, and she smiles. “Exactly.”
I don’t know how long we lie here, healing together, but when we break apart, I know something much better grew from the cracks others placed in our hearts.
“How about we order shitty food and watch TV today?” she suggests as she drapes herself over my back, grabbing the remote. “We can just ignore the outside world.”
“Sounds good to me.” I lean back into her as she turns to the last channel we watched, which happens to be the news.
We both freeze, the color draining from our faces as the breaking news alert crosses the screen.
“A tragic bus crash late last night on Slaughterhouse Road has claimed the lives of over fifty passengers. Many were students at Pine Valley College, who seemed to have stayed late for an event. Police are investigating, but they have ruled it a tragic accident. Families of the victims have been informed and are flooding the area, which will be closed today?—”
Lally turns it off, and we sit in silence.
“They covered it up. Their families will never know the truth. How did they hide the bullet wounds?”
“The fire,” she murmurs softly. “It should cover them. They will have thought of it or bribed someone. They are powerful, Alice. They’ll keep getting away with it.” There’s something strange in her tone, and when I glance over my shoulder, I notice her eyes are far away and hard.
Something deep inside me clenches, and fear flows through me for some reason before she blinks her determined expression away and kisses my cheek.
“There is nothing we can do, okay?” she tells me. “I don’t want you blaming yourself or thinking any more about it.”
“Okay.” I look into her eyes, still feeling fear. “You too, alright? You did everything you could. We are not the ones who pulled the trigger.”
“No, but we helped put the guns in their hands,” she mutters before she tugs me into her arms and sighs, burying her face in my neck. “No TV, not today. Let’s distract ourselves with something else instead.”
My gasp turns into a laugh as she presses me against the bed, tickling my sides until I’m laughing.
She’s distracting me from what I was going to ask . . . from the fear.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
After walking Alice to class, I wander through the campus. It’s quiet. Most classes were cancelled after the news, the entire student body in shock due to the tragic losses. Only those who play Risk know the truth, and the knowledge is in their eyes as we pass each other like silent ghosts.
The families of those who died deserve the truth. They deserve to put their children to rest, and the people behind it need to be punished. Yes, they pulled the trigger, and they chose to enter the game, but that night . . .
We had no choice. It was stolen from us just like their lives, and it’s killing me.
Maybe that’s why I go to Tommy’s memorial. I find myself tidying it up a bit before I kneel, eyeing his picture. He’s smiling so widely his dimples show. I had forgotten what they looked like and what his over-the-top laughter sounded like when he belly laughed.
Staring at the photo, I realize I’ve started to forget, and that hurts.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been around as much recently,” I say. “Well, you probably know why.” Biting my lip, I fuss with some candles, unable to meet his eyes. “I still love you, Tommy, and itstill hurts, but I think I’m starting to heal. I don’t know if that’s what you want, and I’m sorry.” Tears fill my eyes. “I’m so sorry, but I need you to know I will never forget you. I’ll always be right here with you. No matter who’s in my life, you’re still my best friend, and that will never change. I wish you were here right now. I wish . . . I need you. You would know what to do. You were such a good person, and I’m trying to be, but I failed all those people, and now they are dead.”
