Page 32 of Her Rogue to Ruin
“I feel as if I’ve loved him my whole life, and maybe I have. He’s a bit older than I am.” Louisa drew a damp kerchief from the pocket of her gown and dabbed at her face. “And that’s just it. He sees me as a child, and I see him as everything. Lord Selkirk is the most extraordinary man.”
“How much older?” Portia was wary of seeing another young lady married to a man decades older than her as she had been.
“Ten years. He’s Phin’s dearest friend, you see.”
“Ah. And what does Ph—” Portia caught herself and sucked in a breath. “Lord Pemberton, what does he think of this match?”
“I haven’t said a word to Phin.” She pressed her lips together and then let out a long sigh. “I’m not sure he’ll approve.”
“Because of the arrangements your father made?” Portia had no idea if this Lord Selkirk was a good man for a lady so young as Lady Louisa, but the notion that she didn’t haveanysay as to her future still irked Portia.
And then, of course, there was whatever martial scheme had been arranged for Phin. She tried not to think about it, tried not to assume a kiss or two in her art studio meant she should care about who Lord Pemberton married.
He certainly wouldn’t be marrying her, regardless.
“Perhaps you should talk to him.”
“Lord Selkirk?” Louisa asked with a hopeful lilt. “Oh, Lady Hastings, would you advise me as to what I should say? How can I convince him to see me as a woman rather than a child?”
“Actually, I meant your brother.”
Louisa scrunched her nose at that suggestion.
“Is he not someone you can confide in?”
Louisa shrugged and turned her gaze toward the fire, as if she didn’t want to answer. Or couldn’t. Finally, after staring at the fire a moment, she faced Portia again. “Sometimes I can talk to him, and he will listen in a way that no one else will. He has been my champion more often than I can count. But he feels the weight of his title too and all that’s expected of us.”
“Us?”
“The Pembertons. Our father made sure we knew our duty.”
Portia bit her tongue rather than blurt out the first thing that sprang to mind at the mention ofduty. Principally, that it was too often wielded against women, leveraging them into situations they would eventually regret. Duty had been her parents’ watchword, and Winston’s too.
“Duty must be balanced with being true to ourselves, don’t you think?”
“I do,” Louisa said earnestly. Tears welled in her eyes again. “I very much do, Lady Hastings.”
“Louisa?” Phin’s deep voice caused Louisa to startle and immediately stand.
It did something entirely different to Portia. Heat kindled in her belly, even before she stood and turned to face him. She’d left Louisa’s door unlatched, and he stood in the doorway.
“Is everything all right?” His gaze went first to Portia, and he gave her the slightest of smiles, then he turned his attention to his sister. “Wallis said you were indisposed, but I saw Lady Hastings’ brushes and paints laid out. I wondered where you two had gone.”
“It’s my fault,” Louisa rushed. “I’ve wasted Lady Hastings’ time. I hope you’ll forgive me, Lady Hastings.”
“There is nothing to forgive, Lady Louisa.” Portia gave the girl a look that she hoped conveyed that she did care and would help her as much as she was able.
“Shall we go down and get started now?” Louisa asked with an eagerness Portia could barely comprehend.
Tears had been threatening to fall down girl’s face moments ago, and now she looked suspiciously composed, but for a bit of puffiness around her nose and color in her cheeks.
“Of course,” Portia agreed.
Louisa and Phin seemed suspiciously changeable and strangely skilled at attempting to conceal their true feelings. Portia found it maddening.
“I shall join you in a moment. I promise it’s true this time.” Louisa smiled and it was sweet and lopsided and felt genuine.
“Very good.” Portia offered a soft smile in return, and then did her best to walk past Phin without her own feelings rioting. He smelled of a woodsy cologne and fresh air, and she found it difficult not lean in closer as she passed him.
