Page 14 of The Den of Sin
Except for Vasili Nikolaev.That man was cold as ice and never made a mistake.
Mom finally lost the battle one month before I graduated. In the span of a few months, my heart broke with the loss of my mother and the man I lusted after since my freshman year.
I graduated summa cum laude and walked across the stage feeling more alone than ever in my entire life. It was also the last time I saw Vasili who came to support Tatiana. Ironically, she avoided him, and for the first time, so did I.
“How areyou?” Her pale blue eyes searched my face, and suddenly I felt too vulnerable. Too exposed. Ever since all the shit happened with Ryan, I had seen pity, envy, glee on people’s faces. I ignored it. But not a single person has asked me how I was doing.
A lump in my throat formed again and my lip trembled. I shouldn’t have been thinking about Vasili or my mother. I wasn’t sure whether I was numb or was it something else, but this with Ryan didn’t hurt as bad as it did with Vasili. The worst part about what happened with Ryan was that after two years, he couldn’t even give me a courtesy of telling me I wasn’t enough. He preferred for me to find out by witnessing it and walking away from him.
Tears stung in my eyes and I blinked hard, trying to hold them back. I felt the need to hide from the world’s prying eyes and lick my wounds.
“Fine,” I barely got the words out.
The look she gave me told me she didn’t believe me. We have been best friends since our first day at Georgetown University in D.C. We were roommates freshman year and stuck together from that first day. We were put together by happenstance. I didn’t know the connection between my mother and Tatiana’s family when we met. The universe’s own cruel joke, and I was at the center of it.
It still didn’t diminish the fact that Tatiana and I got close. We grinded together through all-nighter assignments, exams, cried our hearts out after boys, and ate our way through a lot of ice cream when we were sad. Needless to say, she knew when I was lying.
“No, you are not fine. And we are going to do something about it.”
The look on her face told me she wouldn’t take no for an answer. I just hoped she wasn’t up to something. Usually, she was. During the first few years of college, we were always up to something and getting in trouble. Living in D.C. gave us a lot of opportunities to enjoy a big city life and party hard. Trouble just followed. It was her oldest brother that usually bailed us out.
Don’t think about him now,I ordered myself.
“If you are thinking about drinking all night in a bar,” I told her in resignation, “I can’t. I don’t have the same alcohol tolerance level. Besides, there are paparazzi on each corner just waiting to attack.”
I was just tired. I needed time to rebound and form a new plan. Yes, that was all I needed.Fuck, I am doomed.The last time it took me several years to rebound.But now I have experience,I told myself. I should be able to rebound faster. Besides, there was a lot more that happened after Vasili dumped me after a one-night stand.
My mother’s illness. The baby. Skeletons that came out into the open.
“I think you should come to New Orleans with me.” My eyes snapped to Tatiana in shock, and I started shaking my head. “Hear me out,” she quickly justified. “That city has a different tempo and different audience from L.A. Most people probably won’t even recognize you or know who Ryan Johnson is.” A pang of hurt hit my chest. How could he have done that? He literally just asked me to move in with him and then did this? It made no sense at all.
“Isabella, are you listening?”
I blinked my eyes, eyeing her perfectly styled blonde hair. She wore a Chanel pink skirt with a white blouse and white heels. Her light blonde hair fell down her back in a slick curtain. She looked so put together, just like her life. On the other hand, my whole life was a complete mess. I was a disaster on two legs.
“You look really good,” I mumbled, unsure what else to say.
“That’s because I haven’t had my heart just slashed in the most public way possible.”
I strode to the couch and sat down in the corner, folding my legs underneath me. It was the first week of October, but I felt cold. Probably because the owner of the building controlled the A/C and turned it to freezing temperatures.
“Come to New Orleans with me,” she repeated, her voice soft. “Is there anything else for you here? Would anyone miss you?”
No, there wasn’t anything else for me here. And no, nobody would miss me. I had a job as an ER physician and a good team. I lost it. I had a boyfriend. I lost that too. I thought our relationship graduated to the next level when he asked me to move in with him.
I couldn’t afford not to have a job. Rent in L.A. was outrageously expensive. Between rent and my school loan, I was barely surviving. But my job and Ryan made it all worth it. At least that was what I kept telling myself for the past few months.
Now, I just couldn’t wrap my head around Ryan’s betrayal. The soft words he spoke that last night we spent together before he went on the tour kept replaying in my mind. What did I miss?
“Isabella?”
My eyes burned, and I felt a tear escape, rolling down my cheek. I wiped it with the back of my hand, angry at myself. Tatiana sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I should learn to be more sensitive. I didn’t mean it that way but you have been saying how you contemplated moving. Maybe this is a sign.”
“It’s just so pathetic,” I whimpered, feeling sorry for myself. “If I left this city right now, nobody would even miss me or notice me gone.”
“The paparazzi would,” she attempted to joke.
