Page 4 of Unforgiving Queen
So much for keeping Reina’s identity a secret. It shouldn’t have surprised me that Illias knew her. The fucker knew too much about too many things.
But it was beneficial that Illias had a doctor on his payroll who was already working to keep this a secret, but even he couldn’t keep Reina hidden forever.
“Her family will have to be notified.” Illias’s reasonable tone was irking me. Why was he lingering in the hospital? I wanted him gone.
“Not yet.” I needed more time with her. I needed her awake before I turned and left her behind again.
Reina had suffered broken ribs. Multiple fractures. Punctured lungs.And a miscarriage.
My fault.Guilt ate at me. It was all wrong—on so many levels—but I loved her, and I still wanted her… I probably always would.
This had to be my punishment. For fucking up so severely. For thinking I deserved heaven when I only knew hell.
A fucking miscarriage.Incest.
God, acid burned in my throat every time I thought of it. Now I wasn’t sure which was worse. I should have protected her. Instead, I wreaked havoc on her entire life. Her innocence.
Her pregnancy was probably the reason she’d sought me out last night. Fuck, fuck,fuck. I failed her.Destroyed her.I pushed both my hands into my hair, gripping it with my fingers. I was falling apart at the seams. It was all my fault. The miscarriage was a blessing in disguise.
Half sister.
Bile rose in my throat, but I pushed it down. I couldn’t think about that now. The main thing was that Reina pulled through.
So, I focused on the sound of her pulse beeping through the machine. It was my lifeline. She needed to live. Head in my hands, I let my mind drift back to the party. I’d spotted her the moment she stepped on the terrace, her simple pink dress setting her apart in the best way possible. She looked out of place and so fuckingalonethat it made my chest ache.
Now I understood the desperation and emptiness in her eyes when she’d stared at me. I snuffed Reina’s light out.
If she—no, not if.Whenshe survived this, she’d never be the same. Her body would heal, but I didn’t know if her heart and soul ever would. Shit like that left a mark. I’d wanted to save her from the pain; instead I tore her apart.
I let my eyes roam over her body, covered in stitches and casts. It seemed there were tubes protruding everywhere from her as an IV supplied a constant source of pain meds and nutrients into her body.
Fortunately, aside from her miscarriage, her internal injuries were minimal. Other than her lungs, which were on the mend already, all other organs were functioning. She remained unconscious, but there were no signs of brain swelling. We’d get a better idea of the extent of her concussion when she woke up, and I knew I wouldn’t take a complete breath until then.
Her complexion was still pale from the loss of blood. She wasn’t responsive to the doctors, and that was what terrified me the most. It was as if she’d gone to sleep and decided not to wake up.
Dante left in the night and brought me back a change of clothes. It was the only time I left her side, and even then, I’d used the bathroom in her medical suite. Dante lingered, wandering in and out of the room. Illias remained too, although I still didn’t understand why. Nor did I care.
None of it mattered right now.
I brushed the soft flesh of her wrist, gliding my finger over it. I shouldn’t touch her, and yet I couldn’t stop.
“I’m sorry, cinnamon girl.” My throat squeezed, suffocating me. “I was trying to do the right thing.”
Silence was my only answer, taunting me. If she heard me, she didn’t show it. She hadn’t moved since the doctors patched her up and brought her back into her room.
Part of me envied her escape from reality, as sick as that was. My own world had turned black in the past three months, and I’d become a shell of myself. But still, I couldn’t hide from the memories. Every word I’d ever spoken to her bruised me black and blue on the inside. Each day without her light grew colder and I knew—fucking knew—I was going under.
Neither one of us would ever be the same.
Having her by my side wasn’t a possibility under any circumstance, so I’d settle for her existing in this world and not being mine. I’d settle for her being someone else’s, as long as she was alive.
“My birthday is coming up,” I rasped. “You promised you’d be here for it. Just be on this earth, that’s all I ask.”
I hurt her by chasing her away, but in doing so, I’d hurt myself even more. The red mist was the only company I’d had since she’d been gone.
The pain lingered with a vengeance, shredding me to pieces and wrapping me in its darkness. It felt worse now that I’d tasted her light.
“Fuck,” I cursed under my breath, running a hand through my hair.
