Page 100 of Thorns of Silence
But I wasn’t brave enough for any of that. Some days I’d even sit on the bench by the neighboring park, eat my breakfast or lunch, and watch the club as if it were my sole purpose in life.
In this vibrant, bustling city, my loneliness was magnified. It ate at my soul, and despite the rays of sunshine all around, the world felt dark.
Two months without my sister and friends felt like an eternity. My heart ached so much, it felt as if thorns had been lodged into its tender flesh. A lone tear rolled down my cheek and I brushed it away angrily, but then another and another followed. I wiped those away too. No crying.
I was so close to getting my hands on my baby. I should be happy and excited, not bawling my eyes out.
Catching a few curious glances, I turned the corner and found a little oasis of green grass along with a large, empty playground. I headed for an empty bench to sit on, my mind anywhere but here.
How will I get my baby back?
I bullied the director of the clinic to hand me the paperwork, including the original birth certificate, but bullying parents into handing over their child was an entirely different thing. According to the foster records, this was Skye’s fourth family. For some reason, finding a long-term placement had been a problem. The file indicateddifficulty communicating, but there was no elaboration beyond that.
Although it did make me worry about my next predicament.How in the hell will I communicate with my daughter?
The stones were stacking against me. I couldn’t kidnap her without scaring her to death, let alone I wouldn’t be able to drag her kicking and screaming around the world.
Unless Skye hadn’t bonded with her family and we ended up clicking. She was my flesh and blood, that had to count for something. But she’d been with Branka and Sasha Nikolaev for several months now.
Dammit. This was a problem I didn’t know how to solve.
Then there was the matter of travel documents. I had gotten in contact with someone over the dark web who came highly recommended for forging fake passports. Once I had a picture, I could book his services. He—I assumed it was ahe—would get it to me within forty-eight hours.
A movement to my right interrupted my train of thought and I looked over. My breath caught when I noticed a little girl seated next to me, alone and crying. She was small, two dark pigtails tied at the ends with a yellow ribbon.
Tears rolled down her flushed cheeks and my heart clenched. Looking around, I didn’t see anyone. Where were her parents?
Unsure how to comfort her without words, I dropped to my haunches. Careful not to scare her, I tapped her knee lightly.
Her brilliant, sky-blue eyes met mine. Her mouth opened, then closed, then she started crying harder, her eyes darting around.
I tapped her knee gently again and her gaze came back to me.
“Where is your mommy?” I mouthed, praying she’d understand me. I fought the instinct to sign, not wanting to confuse the kid even more. My throat vibrated, but I wasn’t sure if I was saying anything. Oddly enough, self-consciousness about my voice was overridden by the little girl’s distress.
Someone walked by and gave me a narrowed look. I resisted the impulse to flip them off. It would be inappropriate to do so in front of the child, and I certainly didn’t need to draw attention to myself.
“Branka didn’t want to come to the playground.”
My heart stopped, and for a moment, I couldn’t breathe. My lungs constricted as I stared at the little girl whose face suddenly looked familiar. She was the spitting image of me and Reina when we were that age. And she was signing in ASL. Then, if that wasn’t enough evidence, the nameBrankashould be my confirmation. It wasn’t a common name.
Yet, my mind cautioned me.Don’t jump to conclusions, Phoenix. Keep your shit and wits together.
Her lip trembled and my heart rearranged itself in the most peculiar way. It took everything not to break down and start crying. I knew—deep down in my heart and without a doubt—this was Skye.
My baby girl was sitting next to me!
“Who’s Branka?” I asked, signing back while my lips trembled.
She blinked and stopped crying, studying me curiously. “You can sign?”
Biting my lip hard to stop it from trembling, I nodded. “Yes. I lost my hearing when I was a little girl.”
Her eyes got big, though they were still glistening with tears.
“Me too.” I gave her a shaky smile despite the whirlwind of emotions twisting in my chest and the lump in my throat. She was still a little girl, younger than I was when I lost my hearing. “How old were you when you lost your hearing, lady?”
The unexpected disappointment washed over me. I didn’t expect her to call me mommy. After all, she’d never met me. But I couldn’t help the irrational part of me from feeling disappointed.
