Page 101 of Thorns of Silence
I squashed it down and immediately scolded myself.
“My name is Phoenix,” I signed, then extended my hand.
She shook it without hesitation, while I fought the urge to pull her into a hug. I’d give my life just to wrap her in my arms and feel her small heartbeat safely tucked into my embrace.
Don’t scare her, Phoenix.
I couldn’t let go of her hand though. Just another second. I wanted to feel her soft, dainty fingers in mine for justonemore second. Fighting my motherly instinct—or whatever this was—I released her hand reluctantly, grateful for the contact, no matter how cold I now felt. The thing that was denied to me five years ago when she was born.
“My name is Skye.” This time it was impossible to stop my lips from trembling, and one stubborn tear rolled down my cheek as the lump in my throat squeezed. I was shaking my daughter’s hand. She was right in front of me, and she was perfect. A tiny human being that already owned my heart. “Sasha says I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”
“Are Branka and Sasha your mommy and daddy?”
She bobbed her head, then raised her hand, holding up four fingers. “They are my fourth family. They learned ASL for me.”
Suddenly the comment in her file made perfect sense, because her trouble with communication was due to her hearing. It was difficult on my own mamma and papà. While Reina picked it up effortlessly, they struggled. Grandma too. Even to this day, she was better at understanding ASL than signing it.
This was all my fault. I should have been stronger and fought Grandma tooth and nail to keep her. Hell, I should have run away and raised my baby alone. To hell with the world. To hell with Grandma and Papà.
I failed her, the thought resonated through me, loud and clear.
Her eyes lowered to my hand and her nose scrunched. I followed her gaze, noting she was staring at my phone. It was an iPhone 11—my latest burner phone—and, puzzled at her reaction, I asked her, “What’s the matter?”
“That phone has battery issues and display screen problems.”Huh? I stared at her blankly, not following her words. Yes, I understood them individually, but all together, I had no idea what she was saying. She must have read the confusion in my eyes. “You need a new, better phone.” It was safe to say she didn’t inherit that skill from me. Maybe her physical traits, but definitely not this technology stuff. “You dress nicely though.”
My eyes fell down to my outfit. I wore a blue Chanel midi dress with white ballet flats made by the same designer. Courtesy of my sister. It was casual enough to be comfortable, although it left me wondering why Reina would have set aside something like that for me.
“Thanks. You’re not looking too shabby either.”
She rolled her eyes. “Branka and Sasha let me wear casual, comfortable clothes. My aunt insisted I had to look fancy.” My lip twitched at her disdain. She definitely got that from me. I preferred comfort over designer wear any day. Reina was my fashion police.
God, I missed my sister. I’d even let her dress me up every day at this point. Hell, I’d wear high heels if it meant she could be with me. Newfound worry swarmed my heart, but I didn’t let it overwhelm me. Amon wouldn’t hurt her. I saw it in his eyes when he watched her. It was the kind of look that would set you on fire if you stepped between them.
If there was love, it had to be close to the look they so often shared, raw and vehement yet soft and patient.
I was certain Reina was safe with Amon. It was the right choice not to reach out to her. Especially now that I’d found my daughter adopted into the Nikolaev family. Once I took her back, they’d declare a war at worst and name me an enemy at best.
“How many families did you have?” she asked, unaware of the turmoil happening inside me.
I raised my hands. “I just had one. I lost my hearing when I was almost six. My parents and my sister had to learn ASL at the same time as me.”
Her eyes lit up, sparking blue. Maybe I was biased, but Skye was the most beautiful girl I had ever met.
“Branka and Sasha learned to sign too,” she announced. “They’re getting better every day.”
I smiled. “You like them?”
She shrugged. “I do.”
I wasn’t an expert with children, but she didn’t seem attached to them. Maybe I could tell her I was her mother, beg for forgiveness for abandoning her, and ask her to run with me?Yeah, that’s dumb.The Nikolaev family ruled this territory. We’d never escape this street, never mind this state.
Then, as if destiny wanted to prove my point, a dark shadow spread over Skye and me.
Skye’s eyes lifted above my head and a grin stretched across her face. “Hello, Sasha.”
Oh, shit.
FORTY
