Page 83 of Scandalous Kingpin
“Physical,” gritted Dante at the same time I clenched my teeth and said, “Both.”
And there it was, out in the open. There was no retracting those words.
Aisling’s gaze whipped to Papà’s, but he just turned to me and then Dante, horrified. A sardonic feeling pulled in my chest that he could have been so fucking blind. We were rough as boys, but not even the clumsiest person in the world got as many bruises as we had growing up.
“How is that possible?” Aisling questioned, her eyes darting between Papà and me, then back to Papà. “Frank, you promised nothing would happen to him.” Her breathing labored slightly. “You promised.”
Before he had a chance to answer, I did. “She gave carte blanche to Father Gabriel.”
Dr. Freud fidgeted, averting her gaze and crossing her legs. For a moment, we simply stared at each other in silence as unspoken words bounced off the walls. I could almost hear the pitter-patter of every heart as we all stared at each other in thick silence.
This was me no longer hiding. This was me going for the heart: my wife’s. The fire in my chest stole my breath.
“Why didn’t you say something?” Papà’s voice shook and so did his hands.
I looked out the window, running a hand across my jaw while Dante’s thoughtful gaze settled on my face.
“Vittoria swore she’d kill you if we did,” my brother answered. “Kill us too.”
“No wonder you hate me,” Aisling whispered. “Did Vittoria—” She swallowed, then tried again. “Did she—” An audible gulp sounded in the room. “Did she touch you too?”
One corner of my lips lifted, although there wasn’t an ounce of humor in my body. “Don’t worry. Every person who touched me without my permission is dead.”
The bomb dropped, and in its wake were harsh breaths and soft sobs. I didn’t want anyone’s pity. I wanted—needed—to get my mind fixed so I could win my wife back. The alternative was unfathomable. Dangerous.
“You should have told me,” Papà said, suddenly sounding decades older. “I would have ended that bitch.”
I shared a look with my brother and could see my thoughts reflected in his eyes.We can’t change the past.All we could focus on was on the future. But we both knew it was easier said than done.
“Not to worry,” I grumbled. “She got hers.”For fucking years.But there was no need to get into specifics.
Papà stared at us for a silent beat. “Her death… the fire… wasn’t an accident?”
I raised a brow but remained silent. It was best he came to his own conclusions. Plus, I knew enough about doctor-patient confidentiality to trust Dr. Freud, but I wasn’t in the mood to test her limits.
“Good, she deserved nothing better,” Aisling said breathlessly, her thoughtful gaze settled on my face.
My eyes met hers. “I need you to stop trying so hard. I can’t give you what you want.”
“You don’t even know what I want.”
My jaw tightened. “You want a son, a relationship. But every time I look at you, I remember Vittoria and all the shit she put Dante and me through. And you’re the one who put us in that position in the first place.”
“Maybe I can help,” offered Dr. Freud.
“I don’t need help.” I’d never uttered a more ridiculous lie.
“Maybe. Though your behavior contradicts your words, Christian,” Dr. Freud said with a slight lift to her lips. “In order to help yourself, you need to come to terms with your past. Once you do, you’ll be better equipped to move past it and accept your normal human emotions. Only then can you start building a relationship with your mother and father.”
“And if I don’t want a relationship with them?”
“Then how about with your wife?” Dr. Freud smiled sadly. “Unless you learn that a relationship is the constant work of two people sharing and negotiating, you’ll lose everything and everyone you love.” A sardonic breath left me. “But then you already know that, don’t you?”
For the next hour, words were spoken and tears were spilled—mainly by Aisling—before the session concluded and steps forward were taken.
It wasn’t until I crossed the parking lot and slid into the driver’s seat of my Aston Martin that I understood why the damn doctor came so highly recommended.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
