Page 138 of Matteo
His eyes darted across the room to my small duffel. “It’s a good thing you’re leaving too.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
He rose from the chair, stepping forward to tower over me like a stormy cloud. “Yes, you are.”
I jerked my head from left to right, my body trembling. If I said it was from fear, I’d be lying. Every cell in my body urged me to run to him, to feel his strong arms fold around me. “I’m not going anywhere with you, and if you try to take me against my will, I’ll scream.”
A look I couldn’t decipher passed across his face. It had traces of vulnerability in it, enough for me to step forward slightly.
“Life without you isn’t an option for me. There is no before you or after you. There’s only you, Ari.”
“No. Before we hurt each other even more, we need to stop,” I said with a conviction I didn’t exactly feel. “Ishotyou, Matteo. Is that something people do when they’re meant to be?”
My mind had been replaying that nightmare every night, the terror I felt inside thinking I’d killed him. But for now, I shoved that into the darkest corner of my mind along with other fucked-up things.
“I’ll forgive almost everything, but running off like that… I was worried sick that they’d taken you.”
“Who?”
“Never mind that now. Let’s go.”
I shook my head. “You’re not listening to me. I don’t want to go with you.”
He raised the gun and shock slammed into me, rendering me speechless.
“Matteo, are you insane?” My voice trembled while I stared at him in disbelief.
He lifted a shoulder. “When you’re not around, yes.” We stared at each other like old lovers, new rivals. “It’s a good thing I found you right on time for my birthday.”
What was he…?
“I already told you,” I murmured softly, staring down the barrel of a gun for the second time in the span of a few weeks. “I’m done with you, Matteo. After that stunt you pulled…”
Water filled my eyes as my thoughts strayed to Hannah, and I remembered how badly I fucked up.
My heart had chosen Matteo, but my reason and loyalty refused to take it any further. I chose my twin’s happiness over mine, and I’d been dying a slow death every day since.
My scalp itched under the wig I wore, and I felt out of sorts in the sweatpants and oversized hoodie that had been my go-to uniform since fleeing campus. I thought distance from him would bring clarity, but instead, it only brought on a wave of despair and dreams in which I missed him terribly.
I couldn’t think around this man, so I forced myself to take a step away from him. It was my survival instincts kicking in, I told myself. No sooner had I put more space between us than he yanked me back closer to him. Not roughly, but close enough to feel his body heat and inhale his scent.
And just like that, my longing won out, clouding my judgment and common sense of self-preservation.
“I’m not done with you. We arenot done. We won’t be done until there’s no breath left in my body.”
Tears burned my eyes but I blinked them away, fighting this reaction to him. Every fiber of me came alive around him and I hated myself for it.
“Willing to start a war, are you?” I asked, trying to buy time. To delay the inevitable. “You’re really content to ruin our parents’ friendship? You already turned Hannah against me.”
His brows pinched as he studied me with an angry expression.
“I’d wage a thousand wars for you, Ari. Yet you run from me at the first sign of trouble. You’ll be punished for it.”
I stared at him as the first tear slid down my cheek, and then I yanked myself from his grip.
“I’m begging you, Matteo, don’t do this. Killing me won’t accomplish anything. Marry Hannah and?—”
“Fuck Hannah.” I flinched. “You think I’d hurt you?” he roared. “After everything we’ve been through, you think so low of me?”
