Page 102 of Nikola
He didn’t get to decide our future, not when I could be strong enough for the both of us.
40
SKYE
Ididn’t know how we got back to the Nikolaev manor. Nor how I ended up smashed between Papa and Sasha, the two taking turns comforting me. When they seemed at a loss for words, Mama and Branka would take over.
The hours passed in a blur. Everything reminded me of him—Sasha’s ink covering his body. TheNikolatattooed on my finger. The framed photos of the Nikolaevs lining the wall.
His presence was overwhelming.
“He isn’t a burden.” I yanked on Sasha’s shirtsleeve, sobs racking my body. “Will you tell him?”
“I will, princess. Now calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.”
I shook my head, another sob tearing from my throat.
“I want to murder him all over again.” Papa’s expression was harsh and dark. “How dare he make my Skye cry? And just as I was starting to like him.”
“You still like him,” Mama signed with a stern expression. “And he still loves Skye. He saved your lives. The least we can do is give him time to come to terms with everything.”
“What terms?” Papa wasn’t having it. “That he made my daughter cry?”
“No, Dante. That he might not be able to walk the same ever again.”
Those words shattered me and a sob tore from my throat—raw, aching, unstoppable. Sasha pulled me into his arms, my face colliding with his chest, but I barely registered the comfort. How could Nikola not see it? How could he not understand that I couldn’t live without him? I didn’t just love him—I needed him. I breathed him, not oxygen. Wasn’t I his oxygen too?
Mama tapped my shoulder and I met her soft expression. She cupped my face and pressed a kiss to my forehead.
“Give him time, baby. He’s dealing with a lot right now.”
“He doesn’t care about my disability. How could he think I would care for him less because of his?”
“Oh, honey, men are dumb sometimes,” Branka chimed in. I felt Sasha’s grumble, but he didn’t object to his wife. “This is just a bump in the road. Like your mama said, let’s give him time. He loves you; he went against Sasha and Dante for you. It isn’t over.”
When my tears and sobs turned into hiccups, Mama and Branka took me upstairs, rubbing my back and pressing their cool hands to my heated cheeks.
“Take a bath,” Mama urged while Branka turned on the faucet. She found an amber bottle and uncapped it, pouring the liquid into the steaming water. I climbed in, numb, and stared as the bubbles began to fill the tub. Soon, my body relaxed, and I couldn’t help but wish it were as easy to wash away my pain.
I touched her shoulder, my fingers trembling. “I just don’t understand, Mama. Why would he push me away when he needs me the most?”
She stroked my cheek, her touch patient and gentle.
“It’s his pride. His first thought upon hearing life-altering news was of you. To protect you. That tells me he loves you more than anything and—” She shrugged, shaking her head. “I don’t know, but don’t give up on him. He’ll come around, and if he doesn’t, I know my daughter.”
“You’ll make him come around,” Branka added, hugging me tightly, before she continued. “Nikola has the country’s best doctors caring for him. Now, it’s you we must look out for. Your mama and I will be in your bedroom while you take your bath. If you need us, press on this.” She handed me the vintage handbell she and Sasha always kept for me in my guest room here. I hadn’t used it in years, but the sight of it brought me comfort.
Branka and Mama didn’t leave my side all night or the next day.
41
NIKOLA
It was the right thing to do. The only thing to do. I repeated the words over and over, like a mantra meant to dull the ache. But no matter how many times I told myself, they felt hollow—fragile lies trying to mask the gaping wound spreading through my chest.
Yet, the image of her hurtful expression was etched into my memory and fuck had it hurt to say those words. The truth was that I didn’t need any handcuffs and gagging. To make love to her was a thousand times better than any kind of kinky fucking.
My parents had demanded to know what happened, but I shut them out. The bare white walls of the hospital for two straight weeks became the kind of prison that could send you into an asylum.
