Page 122 of Frost and Death
My question comes out in a breathy whisper.
Jerrick eases into his seat, grabbing the text he was reading earlier, and shrugs. “Because you care. And because Palaena has nothing to hide and was not involved with whatever happened to your father.”
I almost ask him again about my mother but refrain, knowing Jerrick could take these texts away if I push.
Jerrick’s attention turns back to his book as I scan through each document, each letter, each financial account. But the more I peer deep into King Ivan’s life, the more I see no proof of King Ivan killing my father.
No traces of my father are mentioned in these journals. No traces of assassins. No money transactions—nonothing.
The only accusations come from my mother in the letters they exchangedaftermy father’s disappearance.
Even as I trudge up the stairs at the end of another long day of reading, I hate how the questions I sought to have answeredhere in Palaena feel unsolvable. My gut tells me my answers would be in Axidoria, and I will need to ask Niko for help the next time I see him.
But even as I lie awake deep into the night, waiting for sleep to take me, my beliefs and assumptions of Palaena and their intentions change before my very eyes.
The notion weighs me down, as does the hope of returning to Niko.
I scream for my mother, my father, and for Runa.
But it doesn’t stop.
The pain won’t stop.
A sharp icicle wedges itself over my heart, preventing me from dying with them—being with them.
I curse and yell, slamming my fists into the lake, desperate for it to melt and swallow me whole.
Mother is…gone. The last member of my family is dead.
I am alone…
I have no one…
And thepain—Sweet Makers, the pain of that knowledge is all-consuming—all-wretched—all-suffering.
“You can’t take them all away from me!” I scream to the Makers above.
Frost slams outwards from my clamped fists while my own tears freeze on top of the already frozen lake.
I slump, face down against the ice, hopeful it will spread onto me and take me, too.
“Take me!” I beg to the clouds above, completely alone in this world. “Take me to my family!”
A frigid burst of wind blasts through me as I sob the words again, slamming my fists on the ground in agony.
I shriek in pain from the cold ice continuously spreading.
“Take me to them!” I toss my arms out, desperately seeking to end this torture. “Kill me and let me reunite with them!” I scream louder into the lake as darkness descends over me.
“Tove!” a feminine voice calls.
I pray it is Mother or Runa coming to reunite with me. I close my eyes in gratitude, thankful the Makers are letting me go.
“Tove!”
The voice is frantic and worried.
The surrounding void shakes me profusely.
