Page 137 of Frost and Death
There arehundredsof texts to still scan through about the Deity of Illusion and curses. Even through my lies and everything we’ve read, the lack of any information, any breadcrumbs, tells me something is missing.
I’ve been muddling with that knowledge for a while, tempted to suggest we return to Axidoria and visit my kingdom’s archives for research on his curse. I have been wanting answers about my family and practicing my magic at home, but I also considered how going to Axidoria could be beneficial for Jerrick, too.
Thoughts of home remind me of the guilt keeping me awake most nights, hating how I left things with Niko and Betina along with the lies I have built here.
My guilty conscience pushes me to make the suggestion. “We could go to Axidoria.”
He gives me a suspicious glance when we reach the top of the stairs. Even as we stroll down the wing leading to my bedchamber, Jerrick remains silent.
I blurt, “We can review the texts there, and maybe something of my mother’s might help us. And we could try to search for clues about what happened to my father. Or if not, I could send word requesting to have some texts sent over with the nexttransfer of resources. I am sure if I asked, Niko would grant us that.”
From the corner of my eye, Jerrick’s jaw works while he stiffens at the mention of Niko. Cooling his features, he relaxes into the cocky mantle of king he wears before he offers me a response.
“I’ll take it into consideration.”
I nod in understanding. Deep down, I hoped he would have jumped at the offer, but I find myself disappointed and feel as if he does not trust me.
He has every right to not trust you, Tove.
The thought stings against my soul, and I remain quiet the rest of the walk. I stop first, and my arm slowly releases from Jerrick’s as I turn for my chambers.
He folds his hand over mine, giving me pause. Our eyes lock, and he smiles softly.
“I think this is the first time I’ve walked you to your chambers.”
I’m surprised at the comment, and smile in return. “It is.”
Thinking back to the times we have walked around the castle together, the only time I can recall walking to a bedchamber was on our wedding night. Although that was to his rooms and not mine.
The memory of that night fades my smile. As if he, too, has the same thought, his expression dims, releasing my hand and lowering in a small bow.
“Good night, Frostbite.”
His voice is flat as he pivots and hurries back down the hall.
I whisper after him into the night, “Good night, Jerrick.”
I fidget through fastening the latch, pressing my forehead against the door and inhaling deeply. The light scent of oak issues from the wood as I savor each breath.
The flicker of frost within me perks at my increased heartbeat. I try to simmer it into idleness with positive thoughts and even breathing. My heart rate slows as I harness everything I’m feeling.
Balancing emotions is key.
I remove my boots, digging into the heel of one to push it out and repeating the same action with the other. I still feel the light effects of the wine Dorit and I drank earlier, but it isn’t going to keep me from trying to contact Betina and Niko.
I need them both to help me through my torment.
The kernel of power quiets as I undress, and I opt for a lighter nightgown and a blue silk robe.
My hair stays fastened in the plaited crown as I sit on my bed, reaching for my mother’s mirror.
I pause momentarily, taking in my reflection and noting a brightness in my eyes. For once, I linger on my features, admiring the glow in my blue irises. I take in every inch, not looking to peel myself apart.
But I break away from the distraction, rubbing the mirror three times and opening the line to Axidoria, hoping and praying I can have them both on my side.
Tears surface when Betina’s youthful features come into blurry view. Her rich skin is tanned, and my heart leaps that she is not locked away in my chambers all day and is absorbing the spring sun’s rays as often as she can.
I was upset the last time I saw her, but my heart still fractures knowing I left them without any explanation.
