Page 162 of Frost and Death
A lump forms in my throat. He is not going to like anything I have to say, but he needs to know everything as my advisor and as my partner.
I speak up, hopeful the new offering will bring back the smiling man from moments ago, “I have a new plan. One with no bloodshed and the chance for me to come home.”
“What is thisnewplan?” he grits out, anger lacing each word.
I tell him the new plan.
His demeanor is something I monitor with each new tidbit of information, each memory, and recollection I think would be beneficial in winning him over to the new plan. He remains unmoving and angry but listens to everything I say.
I don’t know what side is logging the information, but I hope it is the man who is my partner and not my royal advisor.
“I don’t want to hurt anyone, Niko. I never have. This is the best way for that to not happen, not upset the Makers, not break the peace,andhave us keep a political relationship with Palaena for trade,” I finish, reaching my hand up to dry a few wet spots on my cheeks.
The guilt I have been feeling is finally exposed, and it should be a weight lifted from my shoulders. But the more I speak and try to explain myself, the worse it feels as Niko’s gaze doesn’t change.
The tender silence that had my heart skipping earlier has been snuffed out by the wrath festering from Niko. I scan him head to toe, trying to find something that tells me he understands.
He finally moves and his hands smack down on the vanity so hard the bang echoes in my bedchamber.
I jolt back from the pure rage blurring in his eyes.
“Why are youreallydoing this?”
He darkens, voice lethal and venomous.
I break from the drastic shift of longing to frustration. “I already told you! I don’t want to hurt anyone!”
He continues to seethe, disbelieving everything I’ve said.
I pray the plea is enough for him to understand where I am coming from. “I’ve been here formonths, Niko. I’ve been watching, learning, and growing. And, yes, I know you had every intention of going to battle to bring me home. But now? After everything I’ve learned?” I shake my head, refusing to budge on this.
Palaena is not the enemy we once thought they were. The answers I am looking for about my family could be in Axidoria or in another kingdom.
I square my shoulders. “I’ve made my decision. We can’t fight. Ready or not, Palaena doesn’t deserve that. Jerrick doesn’t deserve that.”
I meet Niko’s features, tears running down my cheeks, my powers alert and ready to unleash. My thoughts drift to Jerrick, remembering our day in the library and hoping the image of his smile will quiet my magic from surging across my skin.
My voice is exhausted.
“Battle is going to make matters worse for everyone. My new plan is our only option.”
He stares me down in silence.
I want to apologize, knowing this was all time wasted. I want to applaud him for everything he has done for Axidoria in my absence. I want to let him know that I see him, I love him, it’s all going to be okay and that we’ll be together again soon. But I don’t know if saying any of that will bring his smile back.
Seeing him so quiet—soangry—breaks my heart.
When he breaks our stare, a visible tear runs down the side of his cheek.
I didn’t mean to upset him.
“Niko, I—”
“Are you in love with him?”
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Triggered
