Page 174 of Frost and Death
And here is Jerrick, reaching and coaxing my soul to make me feel like…me.
“Please,” he whispers, catching my attention as his breath warms my nose. “Will you consider that?”
I breathe in his scent, pulling away to gaze at him. Adoration and gratitude press against me as I touch his face, tracing the portion of his scar on his eyebrow.
He closes his eyes at the contact, leaning into my touch.
Guilt, stress, and responsibility feel lighter with Jerrick near, and it makes mewantto help him beyond my own ends. Beyond learning my magic and saving my kingdom, I want to help him find the chance to find happy again as I have wished for myself.
With that feeling blooming in my heart, I incline my head earnestly, seeking to befriend him even more and build a better working relationship with a kingdom and a king I once thought to hate.
“Only if you allow me to do the same for you,” I answer, lying on my pillow, a peace settling in my heart and making my eyes heavy.
Jerrick scooches closer, drawing me tight against his chest. “Deal.”
I can’t contain my giggle.
Our breaths steady and even out, comfort and safety drawing my arm to snake under his hold of me so that I might keep him close, too.
As we lie there, my mind focuses on Jerrick.
How his eyes twinkle each time he smirks, his scar wrinkles with his eyebrows when they furrow, and how he has one dimple instead of two.
I drift to the sound of his laughs when he threw food at me, how his hands hold mine and run circles, calming everything inside of me. But I focus most on his heartbeat matching mine as we lie intertwined, agreeing to help each other and to tackle problems together instead of alone.
“I want us both to find our happy again,” I murmur into the quiet.
With his lips pressed against my forehead, a balm of protection washes over me.
“Me too,” Jerrick utters in a hushed breath.
The comforting words are a soothing melody I repeat as I snuggle closer into my husband’s arms, drifting into a peaceful slumber.
And for the first time since I lost my family, I feel safe from my nightmares.
37
Alone Together
My own smile appears more often as Jerrick and I work in the library, searching for answers. It still plagues and muddles my mind that there are no traces of evidence about the curse and no one present at home in Axidoria.
I remain vigilant despite that fact, knowing Betina is working hard and looking into my mother and father and confident Niko believes and trusts my judgment. I reflect often on his angry departure, wishing I could have done better about acknowledging him and his diligence, telling him how much I love him, and also wishing I trusted my gut when he first suggested battle.
I am putting all my faith in the Makers that Niko will come around and listen.
Jerrick suggested training today, and I found myself open to the change of scenery. There has not been any discomfortwhen donning the breeches or braiding my hair alone, simply spending another day with my husband.
When I looked back at my reflection this morning, I brightened, being around people I care about and feeling as if I have purpose for being better. That tug of joy is evident in the arena, my magic easier to manifest and control.
Frost, ice, and snow appear along my arms as well as expand outwardly now.
It is surprisingly comforting to see the progress I’ve made with little direction on Jerrick’s part. Reading texts about meditation and magic manipulation while practicing in my downtime has done wonders. My progress is still minuscule in the wide depth of removing my ice. The effort behind withdrawing the amount I can expel exhausts me.
But I keep diligently praying to the Makers, hopeful I can build my stamina to remove more.
Ineedto do more.
Melting away my winter, however, feels impossible.
