Page 235 of Frost and Death
My attention remains on the door, somehow hoping—praying—desperately Jerrick would come running in as Ulrik did. But the longer I stare, the harsher my torment sets in.
He isn’t coming. I lied to him, and I betrayed him.
And I am in love with him.
I’m such a stupid, stupid, fool.
I turn to Ulrik, who’s still on his knee, and Jonas, who’s a few feet back, wearing the face of a prince. Why is Ulrik, of all people, still here without guards or shackles around his wrists?
I swallow thickly, realizing that, without me, he is the closest person the people could have pass as a ruler in Axidoria. A horrid thought comes rushing in, one where Jerrick divorces me only to broker me in a marriage to Ulrik. That could be the only reason why I am still alive, why I am not locked away in a dungeon, or why I’m not at the torturing whims of Jerrick right now.
I swallow those dark thoughts, gathering my emotions, and brace for the impact of my world truly falling apart.
I deserve it.
Jonas steps a little closer to the two of us. “Lord Ulrik fought on our side the morning after the masquerade ball and has been very…insightfulwith the events of what happened after youleft Axidoria. Most of the bannermen Lord Nikolaj had gathered were criminals instead of actual nobles and guardsmen.”
I pinch my brows in confusion.
Jonas seems perplexed himself as he continues, “Apparently—and I am only saying this because this is still speculative in my opinion—the noblemen had agreed to fight with Lord Nikolaj because they knew he would lead them back to you.”
I drift back to the night of the ball when Nikolaj had approached me with a few noblemen from Axidoria behind them, one of them being Ulrik Albertsen. He looked away quickly, and when we danced at the Celebration of Spirits, he was kind. Ulrik has always been pleasant to me, unless intoxicated, but Nikolaj said he and many other noblemen despise me and hate me.
My gaze lands on Ulrik. “I-I thought you all hated me,” I state bluntly, bypassing all formalities.
Ulrik huffs a disbelieving laugh. “Hatedyou? How could we, Your Majesty?”
“The rumors. Youallspread them.”
“We never started those rumors. That was Lord Nikolaj.”
Nikolaj.
A pang sears deep into the pit of my gut, a knot twisting my insides at more betrayals and lies from Nikolaj coming to a head. I glance away, tears already rising from the sting.
Deities, was I really that blind?
I blink my tears away, taking a careful breath before gazing back at him.
Ulrik takes my hand. “Your Majesty, we understood everything you were going through with your family’s passing. We all tried to put our best steps forward to help you when you stepped into power. But Lord Nikolaj said you didn’t need us. He was always with you, and we saw him more than you. It becamedifficult for everyone. And pardon me, but he was a pompous asshole in every meeting you were not a part of.
“We did not know if the decisions made were coming from you or coming from him. We were not sure how to tell you, how to approach you, because we did not want to speak treasonous thoughts against the crown. And when you appointed him as proxy, we lost hope. But then he announced your safety to the kingdom and started carrying out plans. We felt something was amiss and were biding our time, wanting to gain proof of his dealings to show you.”
Filled with skepticism, I look at Jonas, and he speaks up. “We interrogated every nobleman from Axidoria, and they all had the same story.”
I incline my head slowly, still unsure of Ulrik, given the information Betina had told me about his family and Nikolaj’s. I want to find a way to wrap my mind around everything, even though I wish I was sleeping.
Ulrik nods, still holding my hand as he clarifies. “If it wasn’t for King Jerrick vouching for us, I don’t think any of us would be here.”
Jerrick.
My soul fractures, emotions clogging my throat. “That was…” I hesitate, the thickness of emotion building more. “That was kind of him.”
“It was,” Ulrik agrees. “Your Majesty, I am so sorry we failed you. Please accept my sincerest apologies for not pushing hard enough to help you. And please extend that apology again to King Jerrick. We did not want to fight either and tried to contain as much of it as we could. And I am more than happy to discuss future imports and trades as soon as you are recovered.”
Overwhelmed with this information, I’m still unsure of what to trust, what to believe. Not to mention I doubt I will ever have a chance to speak to Jerrick. But I need to get to the bottom of myown demise and figure out the best plan to help my people when I am truly gone.
All I can manage is squeezing Ulrik’s hand.
