Page 3 of Frost and Death
I stiffen at the shortened name he uses for me. It is meant to be endearing, but it, ultimately, started as a form of payback for me starting it.
I open the door faster than I can roll my eyes.
It is easy for my guard to slip whenever he is around, especially when he beams from cheek to cheek.
Nikolaj strides into my bedchamber, knowing I wasn’t going to turn him away.
Tove, you are such a fucking pushover.
Niko scans my room, his attention pausing on the untouched food on my vanity and the emptied bottle of wine lying on the dark-blue rug. He shifts his body, rising as he places his hands on his hips.
I quickly mimic his actions, preparing for a full-blown lecture, but am surprised when he turns, still wearing a grin.
Sweet Makers, I hate how much smiling reminds me of Runa.
I shudder away from the memory of her, seeking my wardrobe to occupy my thoughts with dresses.
Fashion is one of the few remaining joys I have these days. A small pleasure in how each outfit can be pleasing and beautiful, enough to hide the person wearing it. But as I touch the gowns, an impending void of darkness yearns to make an appearance.
I cough to clear the tightness forming in my throat. “What can I help you with this morning, Niko?” I fidget with a satin dress in repetitive motions, my fingertips fixating on the smooth texture as Niko comes up from behind.
He cages me into his hard chest, and heat envelops me.
Sandalwood soap and leather dances along my senses, goose bumps prickling underneath my clothes.
The longing I’ve had for this man has multiplied in our time spent together. From being mine and my sister’s royal guard to being appointed as my advisor, Niko’s dedication andcompassion for Axidoria, my family, and me are truly what help keep the storm within from consuming me.
Shifting from princess to queen has been difficult, but Niko has never once left my side. Even when I believed dismissing everyone and locking myself away was the safest option, he thought otherwise.
From weekly check-ins to more detailed reports and updates on the kingdom, I knew I could always trust Niko to make the right calls for me and Axidoria. I nodded solemnly and grieved in peace until he started pushing me to learn about my magic. Even though my efforts were pointless, looking back on those first few months to now helped me find some small purpose and grow into my role.
My gratitude and admiration to Niko strengthen each new day, as I’m indebted to him for not giving up on me.
But the fear of losing him like my family has me constantly pushing my feelings down.
I shouldn’t even hope for a chance of love again.
It will always be taken away.
And yet my hopeful heart pushes past fear, grief, and self-hatred, dangling those feelings in front of me with moments like this.
I wiggle out of his embrace, seeking the distance to cool my desire. But when his boyish grin remains, I instantly regret facing him, using all my strength to not touch my heated cheeks.
“Are you ready for this coming week?” He gestures to the dresses behind me.
I laugh bitterly. “This coming week? Seriously? It’s not like Iwantto find a husband during the Celebration of Spirits.”
The Celebration of Spirits takes part every winter. It is a week-long event filled with festivities, balls, and a lantern ceremony where people come together to honor Yeva, the Deity of Life, and Letum, the Deity of Death.
This year, it will also be where I find my future king consort.
With the disdain from my people and no signs of winter ending, Niko advised it was time for me to marry. I rejected the suggestion time and time again, not wanting to even consider it. But deep down I knew a union would be something to raise the kingdom’s spirits.
If even for a little bit.
“Tove—”
“Don’t remind me,” I grumble and wave Niko off, walking away from him and picking up the wine bottle near my bed.
