Page 85 of Frost and Death
Sweat beads down the sides of my brow. And while my gown is a thin layer of fabric, it may as well be the thickest woolen coat.
I fear my body is giving off a rank smell, and I clench my arms and thighs and bite my lip in concentration.
Come on, Tove, pull yourself together.
The hallway we walk down is narrower than the others, with fewer decorations adorning the walls and no guards. Every few feet, there is an elevated archway that brings the spaces together, but the blackened rugs, dimmed lanterns, and the lack of windows create a moody atmosphere.
We inch up more stairs, which ruins my controlled movements. I haul myself through every step, and mercifully, Jerrick doesn’t make a remark.
He matches my pace, and I appreciate it.
There were never this many stairs in my home. I need to find an excuse not to be locked up in a room and build my endurance, so I don’t pass out while ascending or descending.
When we make the final clearing my heart is pounding so hard, I can hear it accompanied by Jerrick’s small chuckle. I snap my head to him, scowling at his judgment.
“What is so funny?” I demand.
He glances down briefly,stillchuckling.
He issucha bastard.
“You must be imagining me dead or something.”
“And why do you think that?” I retort, caught off guard and pissed I wasn’t thinking about it.
“I can practically feel you strangling me with the grip you have on my arm.”
Baffled, I look down, noting the vise grip I do, indeed, have on him.
I release my white-knuckled hold. “Sorry,” I mutter, realizing I might have been relying on his support to climb the stairs.
Illuminated at the end of the hallway is one floor-to-ceiling door, beckoning for us to open it. As our steps guide us closer, spikes of anxiety tug and rip at my chest, gripping me violently.
Jerrick inclines his head and guides us inside. As he closes the door behind us, I delve further into the rooms, taking in the lightly ruffled bed, cluttered tables, and lounge area.
The lock clicks, and Jerrick’s attention focuses on me.
We stay in the quiet of the night as his footsteps move around me.
He grabs a lit candle and disperses more light to other candles throughout the bedchamber.
I fold my arms while I stand there, letting him do his work.
The room brightens with light, shining on the reflective sheer fabric of the curtains Jerrick pulls closed before turning to a worktable and adjusting some papers.
I follow his movements, noting he is tidying up as he goes, earning a crooked smirk from me.
He turns, allowing me to take him in again. Scanning him head to toe, as he does me, I note the rapid rise and fall of his chest telling me I am not alone in my worries.
I don’t know what to expect, as I haven’t gone beyond the passionate kisses Niko and I shared and pleasuring myself in Niko’s presence.
I gulp at my lack of experience of the real thing, finding myself contemplating my value to Jerrick once again. The thought of that alone sends sweat down my spine, and I rub my sweaty hands together.
My heart sinks into my stomach as panic rushes through me.
Can I even let this happen?
I know we are married, but…
