Page 196 of Beast and Remedy
His eyes simmer with heat, and his dimples pierce his cheeks as his beauty—his profound words unraveling me.
My soul moves me forward, capturing his mouth with mine. I want to bind myself to him and only him, as long as he’ll have me.
But Beau meets my kiss tentatively, giving me pause.
Stopping and looking up, I can tell something is weighing on him, and I can’t help but feel like he is about to take me off this edge of love and joy.
Uncertainty churns in my stomach, souring all his sweet words.
“B?” I choke out, gripping the rose tight.
He presses his lips together, withdrawing before he says, “We should invite your father and tell him about the cure.”
“What?” I gape, blinking, confused by his unexpected suggestion. “No, I want to go see him and tell him the news with Marian. Plus, he won’t make it here in time.”
“But why not? And he doesn’t have to come to the celebration. We can send word tomorrow, and he can arrive the following day.”
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “He refuses to set foot in your kingdom. And if he knew I was here—”
“What would he do? You could explain everything. The infection, the cure, our love—”
“No.” I glare at him.
Beau’s eyes widen, shock slackening his jaw. He recovers, but his voice comes out strained. “Why?”
“Youknowwhy,” I tell him, trying to keep my mind together despite the agony ripping me apart from his tortured gaze. “And even if we found proof, he won’t push that aside. He’s too stubborn. He will still keep his distance. And if we push too much on him… I don’t know what he’ll do.”
He takes a step back, his posture sagging. “Is our love not worth fighting for?”
Itisworth fighting for. Every second of every day.
And I sacrificed it to give Marian a chance.
My heart sinks deep into my soul as I struggle with the harsh words I deliver. “If the cost of fighting for our love is to lose the relationship I have with my father, my sister, and my kingdom… I-I-I don’t know, Beau.”
He looks at me like he’s never seen me before.
But heknew. He knew this entire time my stance on everything. But he’sstillpushing.
He said this was enough, and I believed it would be, too.
But I know it’s not—heknows it’s not.
And I’ve forever damned us both with broken hearts and unmendable souls.
“Would you give up your only parent left in this world to be with me?” I ask, trying to have him understand my position without fully telling him. “What about your sister? Your brother? Your kingdom? Would you give that all up to be with me?”
“In a heartbeat.”
I falter, my lip quivering at his immediate response.
I mask away my pain, shoving it to the deepest parts of myself, knowing I’m causing us more heartbreak. “I don’t know if I can. I’ve already lost Mama, and I cannot fathom the day when Letum will take Papa. And that’s exactly why I don’t deserve you and never will. You deserve someone who will have no hesitation in being with you.”
Despite the withering of my soul, the fracturing of my heart, and the devastation clinging to my entire being, I drive my point across. “All I have been with you is hesitant. And it kills me not to fully give myself to you. But Ican’t.I don’t know if there is a day that will let me do that.My father, my sister, and my kingdom need me. The forest needs me.”
I shake my head in a poor attempt at an apology as tears line my vision.
I hadn’t wanted this night to shift so drastically.
