Page 38 of Rules in Love
My lack of enthusiasm had the poor thing sweating even harder than he already was. His face dropped, and his eyes cast down. I really did want to run home with him, if for no other reason than the shortness of his shorts. But the thought of him listening to me huff and puff and seeing my boobs bounce up under my chin was just too much. Before I could string together a response, his face switched. I could almost picture a lightbulb appearing above his head, and he and his shorts took off ahead of me. “Come on, Red. Don’t leave me hanging.”
Without seeking permission, my libido and legs followed, but my brain kicked in after a few strides, and I stopped. “Umm, Finn.” He slowed and turned but kept walking backward, beckoning me with every step. “Would it be okay if I took a rain check? I’d love to work out with you, but I’m just not ready to be seen by human eyes. Give me a few weeks, and I promise I will be chasing you all over the city.”
“Are you sure? I promise I’ll be gentle.” Cue eyebrow wiggles.
“Finnnnn.” I laughed like a dorky teen. God, I was a fucking idiot. Even in the dark, he must have seen me blushing. “While I’m sure I’d be very safe in your big hands, yes, I am sure. Two weeks. Give me two weeks, and I’m yours.”
“It’s a date, Red.”
With my vagina threatening a mutiny, he turned and ran away. The fact that he looked over his shoulder and smiled every few strides settled her rage…as did the bounce of his ass in those shorts.
That night was the first time I struggled to sleep since launching my fitness crusade. When I closed my eyes, I saw a thick, long, veined bicep or rippled quadricep. His expression when I asked for a rain check was there too. Disappointed but hopeful, playful.
Maybe Finn liked a game? Perhaps I made the right choice. After all, as I—more than anyone else—knew, everybody wants what they can’t have.
Scarlett
Goodbye, Mr. Wise. It was party night, and I couldn’t wait to say those words for the last time—well, almost the last. Technically, the upcoming, unorganized movie night would be the last. I was surprised the old coot’s eyes hadn’t fallen out of his head. The amount of perving they carried out this week was ridiculous.
Though I often made light of his behavior, I’d come closer to making a formal complaint in the last few days than I had at any other point. No one should have to put up with the objectification I had. Teddy pushed me for months to say something, as had Finn, but I was too stubborn and pig-headed to admit I couldn’t handle it. And that I feared the consequences of speaking up. The Me-Too movement may have heralded a new era for women’s advocacy, but in my experience, it had yet to be embraced by many men. Unfortunately, some women too.
The final farewell to Pervy McPerv wasn’t the only thing I was looking forward to. Finn-fatuation and my lonely, desperate vagina were working in cahoots on what was essentially a hostile takeover of my brain.Bonk him, marry him, bear one hundred of his blond babies, all of which will have Australian accents like their daddy. Oh, and keep it professional.These were my thoughts as I slipped my freshly waxed and tanned self into my costume. I was so excited. And so nervous.
Could I get away with a diaper?That was how much I was shitting myself. It was most un-Wonder-Woman-like. There were, however, one or two things I was confident in. One, my costume was HAWT! Even if I said so myself. Yes, my ass was still too big, and my thighs…well, I was never going to be thrilled with them. But my stretch-marked tummy looked surprisingly toned, and for once, when I looked in the mirror, I liked more about my body than I hated. I saw a woman, not just a mum.
As well as ripping almost every hair from my flesh, my beautician did my hair and makeup. Though my locks remained their rare, multifaceted red, not the traditional Wonder Woman black, the styling was on point. Lynda Carter herself would have been impressed. The second thing? Finn was going to flip.
To round out my Amazonian authenticity, I’d been practicing my lasso skills on Ben. The poor kid had barely been able to move without me going for him and had been on the verge of tears several times, especially when I sprang out from behind a door when he wasn’t expecting it. Mother of the year.
He looked so relieved when Brett came to get him. I was not. Once again, Bretty was a little too friendly.Is the guy ever going to get the hint?
Nerves made me glance at the clock for the one hundredth time. It was approaching six-thirty, and Teddy was due to pick me up any minute. I couldn’t wait to see his costume. Finn’s too. They’d both kept me in the dark all week. Teddy would tell me nothing, but Finn had at least hinted his was also superhero related. I didn’t know if that meant a Superman-Batman deal, or if I would be chasing down Lex Luther or The Penguin.
I was so on edge, so hyped up, that when Teddy did knock, I squealed, jumped to my feet, and ran to the door to greet him, then gracefully fell flat on my face. Hearing the bang and crash as I bit the dust, he burst in and burst out laughing. “Fuck, even lying in a heap, you look incredible, and Christ, look at your tits!” I gave the girls a squeeze and attempted to move. “So, are you already drunk or what?”
“No, no. Just a bit too excited.” I bounced back onto my feet, straightened my boobs in my corset, and looked at Teddy, aka John Travolta. “Holy disco balls! You look amazing! Those flares are massive! And your hair, it’s so big and floofy.”
It looked so soft, almost comfy, and it made an audibleswishas he shimmied. I moved to touch it but was blockedKarate Kidstyle.
“Don’t touch. Aren’t the pants great? I found them this morning at a store in Brooklyn. I swear, Scar, it was like the land that time forgot. Sylvia, the lady that worked there, looked like an eighty-year-old Barbie in glitter boots,andshe was a wardrobe and hair assistant onSaturday Night Fever. She fluffed Travolta’s tufts!”
“That is cool…but what were you doing in Brooklyn, and why didn’t I know you were going? The secrets are mounting, Teddy.”
“I did try to call, but by the look of you, you were undergoing deforestation and had your phone on silent. I predict it still is. Anyway, back to me. This morning, I was complaining about my shitty costume, so Asher said he knew a lady. Then he piled me in his car and whisked me to Sylvia’s, then his place. Only his mum was there, but she loved me. I loved her. She fed me matzo brei, latkes, and babka. Scarlett, I think I gained ten pounds, and I ain’t mad about it.”
Pulling me into a velvet-lapel-cushioned hug, he held me tight as we headed outside to the waiting Uber and only released me before he climbed in. There, he paused and ran his hands up and down my bare, cold arms. “Scarlett, I love you. I want you to be happy and I have a feeling tonight’s going to be a new beginning. You look fucking amazing, so hot even I would do you. Don’t waste it. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You better lock it down. That boy won’t stay single for long.”
We arrived at the party minutes later and, to borrow a phrase from Mrs. Horowitz, strutted in, arm in arm, like the complete hotties we were. The bar looked terrific, Asher and the staff had been decorating all afternoon, and it looked just like a—hopefully—cocaine-free version of Studio 54. The guy had gone all out. Think bling, crystal-beaded curtains, gold-sequin drapes, and mirror balls. No doubt the effort had more to do with impressing Teddy than me. It seemed to work too. Teddy quickly dragged him into the darkest corner of the room to show his appreciation. Leaving the boys to get down and busy, I wandered aimlessly, avoiding Herman, checking out the room, and trying not to nervously sweat out of my costume. With every step I took, something new caught my eye. Strobe lights dazzled blindingly across the dance floor as podium dancers did their thing, and private booths to chill and maybe make out had been installed. It was perfect. Or it would be once Finn arrived.
By seven-fifteen he was nowhere to be seen. It had been an hour. I was beyond panicked, and it was obvious. Teddy and Asher tried to distract me as much as they could, but as the minutes passed, not even Teddy attempting the worm during a Donna Summer banger could lighten my mood. He was mid-air on his second go when Jason Wright grabbed the mic from the DJ.
“Welcome, everyone. It’s wonderful to see you all—” Blinding light suddenly filled the dark. A caped, muscular silhouette strode in and paused, hands on hips. It wasn’t a bat or a penguin. No, it was my hero. My Superman. My Finn. Every set of eyes in the room turned his way, and the confidence he carried in eroded. Hilariously, he hunched over, covered his junk with his hands, slunk backward into the shadows. “Quite the entrance, Austen. Thanks for joining us,” Jason quipped dryly before resuming his no doubt boring and lengthy speech.
As a fellow Justice League member, I was honor bound to discreetly save Finn. So, I waved and jumped up and down while yelling, “FINN! OVER HERE!”
Still protecting his manhood, Finn nodded and skirted the edge of the room toward us. “Fuck, he looks so hot, Scar.” Whispered Teddy, “he is so ripped, and that ain’t padding. Go get him, Wonder Woman.” He then gave me an unsubtle shove in the back. I lurched forward, hitting Superman’s brick-wall-like body, and was saved from falling by his arms wrapping around my waist.
This feels nice. I like this.The slip of the Lycra beneath my fingers felt almost sensual. He was so soft and warm but also hard and strong. And Teddy was right. There wasn’t any padding involved in his suit—not there on his chest where my hands remained, anyway. The costume did feature a comically large codpiece, though. One I could feel poking into my stomach. I couldn’t stop my eyes from wandering to it, or my brain from wondering how much he filled it out.
