Page 101 of Secrets in Love
Stoic Nate lasted seven minutes and twenty-two seconds into the drive. “I can’t believe this is happening, Finn. She’s really not coming with me.” My hands trembled as I sipped from my fortieth coffee of the day. “Not only that, but after everything that’s happened between us, she still refuses to admit she loves me. Now I can’t even say goodbye.”
With his own voice breaking, Finn delivered a stinging slap on my left shoulder. One so hard my head smashed into the side window. “Mate, I’ve got two things to say. One, being a complete cunt a few hours before your flight probably didn’t help you on either of those things.”
“Gee, thanks for the reassurance,mate.” I tutted, rubbing my temple. “How do you know I was a cunt, anyway? Before, you made out like you didn’t know what was happening. It sounds like you had your big ears pressed against the door.”
“Uhhh, Nate. I heard the yelling. Shit, the Russians could have heard you yelling from their space station. That doesn’t mean I knew that Evie took off or where she went.”
“Okay, then, smartass. What’s the second thing?”
“Nate, you, and me. Me and you. We’re better off baching it like we did in the old days. Women are trouble…love is trouble. If you look at it one way, Evie refusing to say she loves you is a good thing. Trust me, it’s better to make the break now, because every day you spend together will only tighten the vise-like grip she has on your heart till you walk in on her making life plans with her ex, and she refuses to marry you, and then it all explodes in a shower of vibrant, sticky, bloody confetti.” His depressing tone was matched by the radio station Finn selected. Actually, Kurt Cobain was probably cheerier.
“Wow…that is terrifyingly graphic.”
Unlike me, Finn had never been afraid to cry, and the waterworks ominously lingered. “Going home is the right thing to do…maybe not just for you.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re thinking about joining me.”
“There’s nothing here for me, for us, anymore, Natey. Scarlett turned me down, just like Evie did to you. Us boys need to look after ourselves. Bros before h—I can’t call my sister a ho. Or Scarlett, for that matter, because she is the most beautiful woman alive… Christ, I miss her.” More sobbing. “So, yeah. Yeah, I am thinking about going home.”
The irony was blinding. “So, we’re both fucknuts that stupidly proposed. Evie has taken this giant, refusing-to-be-parted-from-her-precious-Finny, noble stance, and you’ll ditch her the first time something goes wrong?”
“I’m not ditching her. Not for sure. Anyway, I don’t know why you’re pissed about it. Imagine if she comes with me. You’ll be getting exactly what you wanted.”
“What I wanted? Finn. Evie chose you and your daughter over me. Even if she did come home, it doesn’t mean she’s ready to let go of you and make a life with me. And no offense, but living the rest of my life following your stinky ass around town doesn’t do it for me.”
Arguing and Finn crying, intertwined with bursts of rage, continued all the way to the airport. An angry-sad Finn was nothing new to me. The guy was a control freak, even more than Evie, and Finn not in command was not pretty. In the end, all I could do was sit and listen. He was also shattered. As was I. The difference was Finn wore his heart on his sleeve. I could hide my emotions behind a facade of bad jokes and return to ho-life references.
The facade began to drop when we pulled into the parking lot, and Finn began hauling his massive body from the car.
“Wait! I don’t want you to come in. If you’re there, I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Couldn’t you have said that before I paid seventy-five dollars for parking?” He was smiling, but tears still rolled down his cheeks. I had a lot to say to the guy, correcting his bullshit about the parking being one, but the words wouldn’t come out. I still gave him some cheek.
“How are you not dehydrated by now? I swear you cry more than a Kardashian.”
“I know. It’s terrible, but Scarlett said she loves a man who isn’t afraid to show emotion. Fuck I miss her. Did I say that already?” A massive and extended man hug took palace where a little precipitation may have been present on my cheeks too. “I’m so sorry things ended up like this, Natey. It’s just shit. I guess us Byron Boys ain’t living it up in NYC no more.”
“Understatement of the millennium. Finny.” I started to get out of the car but stopped. “I’m sorry, too, dude. I swear, I never wanted to hurt her. And I don’t want you to be hurting either. We’ve all had enough loss in our lives.”
“I know, dude.”
It was awkwardly silent for a few heartbeats, so I made it even more so. “You’re an amazing brother and dad, Finn, and I know things will work out with Scarlett. You just need to let yourself be happy. Shelby would want that. She’d be really proud of you.” For some reason, I kissed said dude’s forehead and quickly removed myself from the emotional aftermath by grabbing my bags and saying goodbye to another Austen.
Evie
Weighed down by unshed tears, rage, a bottle of wine, and a bag of Maltesers so large I could call it home, I arrived at Teddy’s front door. The wear and tear of the last few days were evident immediately. He was struggling, possibly more than I, and it was little wonder why. His darling Scarlett was a mess, and now I’d turned up looking like the undead. Plus, he was still dealing with an Asher breakup hangover. In the blink of a bloodshot eye, my own worries were forgotten. But Teddy refused my offered shoulder to lean on and seemed determined to ward me off with playful insults and sarcasm. Maybe that was why we got along so well. Two peas in a pod.
“We need Kylie and wine, Little One.”
His face carried the regret of using Nate’s nickname for me the second it left his lips, and he quickly displayed his high-level deflection skills. The demonstrably underratedImpossiblePrincesswas set on his record player, and the questions began. “So, now that you’re a co-owner at the studio, will you be in charge of hiring staff? If so, I hereby volunteer my services as your assistant. I can take photos—some of which I may permit you to see. I’m punctual and will try to curb the swearing should any minors be present. I need to find a new man, and what better way to do it than exploiting my power over someone’s employment? I can just imagine all the hotties in their tights. God. I feel better already.”
“I hate to break it to you, but not all male dancers are gay, and almost none would wear tights in an interview or class. That’s performance attire.”
“The gay ones might, though. That’s how I’d weed them out.” The straight face he was trying to hold broke, and we both burst into giggles. “And you’re right. I shouldn’t stereotype. Wanna watch someGoldenGirls? I can’t get enough of those old ladies calling each other sluts.”
“Sure. But before we do, I need you to promise to talk to Ash. I know you really care about him, and I can see you’re hurting.”
“If I have to talk to Ash, why don’t you have to talk to Nate?”
