Page 102 of Secrets in Love
“Because Asher is kind, sensitive, hot as hell, and just a confused pup. He also lives in your city, which is a major advantage. There’s hope for a future. Nate lives on the other side of the world. We have no future. He’s also a prick.”
“No, he’s not.”
“No, no, he’s not,” I cried, rolling onto my back, and shoveling a handful of chocolate in my face. “He’s lovely and hot and made me a book, Teddy. Did I tell you he made me a book?”
“Yes, darling, you did. Several times. And I also told you I helped him make that book. Credit where credit is due, please.” He grabbed me by the arms and pulled me into an upright position. “You’ll be okay, Eves. We both will.”
“Promise?”
“Ehh, sure.”
“That’s not very convincing, Teddy.”
“Sorry, babes. It’s about all the ‘vincing I have left in me now. Come on, let’s go laugh at some old sluts.”
Once I had eaten enough Maltesers to feed a small nation, and laughed all I could at Blanche and Rose, I staggered home and joined Finn slumped on the floor of his room. It stank. But it was better than sitting in the cauldron of eye-stabbing memories that was my room. He was readingPrideandPrejudice. I was writing a suitably unharmonious ending for Stevie and Nathan, the erotic novel I had started working on what felt like a hundred years ago to try and unleash my inner hoochie. A new chapter had been added almost every day since Nate’s arrival—never had the words flowed so freely. But it was time to toss this baby with the bath water.
What I believed was a diamond was merely glass. Beautiful but weak and fragile, it shattered under self-imposed pressure.
Fucking was one thing. Love was another. One that was not meant for me.
Time had lost all meaning. I had no notion of how long we sat there, spiraling in silent misery, until Jocelyn stormed in, pulling the cork with her teeth, and then slurping straight from a bottle of red.
“Alright, I’ve had enough of this! I’ve just taken Iris to Cole’s house, where she will remain for the next few days.We”—she drew a circle around Finn and me with her finger—“need to get away from the city and chill the fuck out!” She screamed this, super chill-like, then drank again. “I have not worked my ass off to rebuild this family and interfere in your love lives, only to watch your fragile, idiotic hearts burn it to the ground. We will go away, we will drink, and shitwillbe sorted.”
“Excuse me?” snapped Finn. “Who said you could take Iris to Cole’s? Does everyone in this house think they can take my parental duties into their own hands whenever they see fit?”
“Yes!” Jocie and I chorused, but she continued, “You bloody well know that’s how this family works. When one is down, the others pick up, carry on, and do what needs to be done. Finley. You’re brokenhearted, but you’ve locked yourself in the room with no explanation and left us to puzzle out what happened from poor Scarlett’s umpteen calls a minute. You’re hardly functional, and you smell ghastly. And you, my darling Evie, are not much better. So yes, I made the executive decision. Get over it. Tough titties. Stiff shit.” She disappeared around the corner and popped back seconds later with three wheelie suitcases. “The car will be here in fifteen minutes. My aim is to be so drunk by the time it arrives that I can’t walk to the curb unaided. I’ve packed your bloody things already, so let’s drink.” She skulled again and retreated into the shadows.
We’d been on the road to Tarrytown for maybe half an hour when Finn dropped a bomb. Just as Nate had done to me, he’d sprung a moronic proposal on Scarlett—one she had rightly refused. He’d then ignored her for days. I was sure if he and Nate shared a brain cell, they’d be dangerous. Just when I couldn’t think less of my brother’s emotional intelligence, he came out with, “I’m considering going back to Australia with Iris. I can’t be here anymore. There’s nothing for me.”
Well, I was furious. First, I still couldn’t believe Finn hadn’t told me about Barry. And with these words, Nate’s ridiculing my decision to stay with Finnfelt fully justified. I wanted to rage, but Finn was struggling as much as I was. So, I tried to be reasonable and measured.
That lasted maybe three seconds before I slapped him on the back of the head and launched into a tirade. “You’re a freaking idiot, Finn. Honestly, you’re lucky she didn’t knock you out. I would have. I’m tempted right now.”
“Well if you’re such a romantic genius who knows all the rules in love, why are you sitting here with us while your boyfriend is waiting for a flight to get away from you? Come on, let’s hear it, Evie.”
Finn winced, rightly expecting further violence. I didn’t think either of us expected what I did, though.
I fell apart, sobbing.
After arriving at our luxury accommodation, the woebegone mood lingered, and the drinking commenced. My bags lingered by the door, abandoned after I lost my shit over the McQueen rug Nate, and I had made love on. I could hardly tell my aunt and brother that I was crying because that was one of the last places I shagged Nate, especially when they were both on their hands and knees, trying to remove me from it.
Eventually, I left the rug, and my grief and lovesick hysteria was soon replaced by rage. In a desperate attempt at diversion, I brought up Finn’s earlier car truth-bomb and began throwing shoes. “I can’t believe I sacrificed my life with Nate for you, only to have you throw a hissy fit and toss me to the side.”
“For starters,” he said as he ducked and weaved, “I’m not tossing you anywhere. I presumed you’d come back with me. And please, don’t use me as an excuse for being a coward.”
That was when the wrestling commenced.
“Maybe the alcohol was a bad idea.” Jocie snatched our beers from the coffee table where they sat waiting.
“No one said you shouldn’t or couldn’t go, Evie,” Finn growled as he placed me in a headlock and commenced noogies. “You may recall thatI,your big brother, gave youmyblessing despite the fact thatIwanted to barf whenever I sawyoutwo together. It’s not my fault you didn’t love him.”
“God, you stink! When was the last time you showered? And who said I didn’t love him?”
Finn released me from his vise-like grip.
“Do you?” he and Jocelyn chorused.
