Page 3 of Secrets in Love
Fuuuccckkkkk.
Okay, I’d possibly nursed ateeny-tinyadmiration for Nate for a long time, but honestly, I became emotionally stunted when we lost Mum and Dad, and then Shelby so soon after. I was numb for years. I felt too raw to feel more than the bare minimum necessary to function, and the little excess I did have went into Iris. She became our everything—sun and moon, stars, and sea. So even if I did have a childish crush, my heart was too full of pain and Iris to do anything about it. Plus, there was the whole he’s-younger-than-me thing. Also, he’s my brother’s bestie, and my brother would kill him—and possibly me.
But things were…different. Life was different.
Could Nate really be into me? Could HotBoss Christian? What the fuck is happening?
The harmonious bleep of a WhatsApp notification pulled me from yet another spiral…until I saw the name on the screen.
Shit! It’s Nate! Nate, who Finn thinks is into me. Shit! Shit! Shit! How do I play this? What should I do? What should I say? Okay, I’ll just read the bloody message. It’s probably nothing. I’m sure it’s nothing. But what if…
Panic gripped me for several minutes. Hair was pulled at and braided. Nails were bitten, and a disturbing amount of gummy bears were consumed in a frighteningly short time.
The only thing that slowed my descent into crisis was Iris calling for me in her sleep. Finn had gone out on a rare non-date with his co-worker Scarlett, so it was up to me to calm her down and settle her back into bed. Once she was sorted, I swallowed the bile in my throat and read the message.
Nate: G’day, Lil Gidget. Nate the Great is bringing you the hottest gossip this side of the equator and checking in on his number-one girl.
See, completely normal. He’s checking on Iris, his number-one girl, and calling me stupid names.
Me: Hey, Nate the Average, you massive wanker. Ego much? All is well here in the good old US of A. Your girl is in bed after an eventful day full of cute dogs seen on the way to ballet and some kid called Cole’s epic backflip and sick dance moves. Now, cut to the chase. What’s the hot gossip? Also, when are we going to lose ‘Lil Gidget’? I’m almost 27.
Gidget. Damn, I loathed it. The whole thing started after we watched a terrible 60’s surfer girl movie with his mom one rainy Sunday. I hated him calling me Gidget, but not as much as Aoife.
Nate: Uhh, never?? You may be a cougar now, but you’ll always be my Lil Gidget.
The phone almost slipped from my grasp.My Lil Gidget.I must have read that line a hundred times before reading on.
Now, to the gossip…Bloody Mum and Dad are going to Fiji for Xmas, and I can’t handle being alone while they’re jet-setting around and drinking cocktails. They asked me to come with them, but I can’t stand the thought of that either. So, I was wondering…. I wanna come to see you for Xmas, Eves.
Oh my God. He wants to spend Christmas with me!
Nate: And by you, I mean the family-you. Not just you, you.
Well, fuck me. There goes that bubble.
Nate: I know it’s not even autumn for you guys, but I have to organize things here on the farm. If it’s not pushing the boundaries of friendship, I’d like to come in early December and stay through to New Year’s Eve. Would that be too much Nate in one go?
Nate: You still there, Eves? You’re not vomiting into a bucket at the thought of seeing me again, are you?
Me: No, I’m here. Just thinking. I/we would be stoked to have you for as long as you can stay. You’re part of the family, remember?
Nate-We are many things, Gidge. Family isn’t one of them.
Nate: Night my Lil Gidget.
Me: Night, not-my-family Nate.
Nate
For me, crushing on Evie Austen was like breathing. An automatic bodily function I had no control over.
To this day, I can picture the moment I fell for her. Dates and times are spotty at best, but Evie sporting a fetching yellow sweater and a hat so big she could bathe in it was crystal clear. She lay on her parents’ lawn, making daisy chains, her hair shining brighter than the sun. Her eyes were the color of the turquoise water I would soon learn to surf in. But it wasn’t her beauty that had me hooked. It was the flames leaping from her mouth, the fire in her belly as she chastised her brother for making his bracelet all wrong. I knew right then and there…Evie Austen would one day be mine.
Complications arose when my twin sister, Shelby, who tragically passed away during my niece’s birth, also fell in love with an Austen—Evie’s brother and my best friend, Finn. Shelby was much louder and more open with her declarations of undying love than I, and it seemed a bit weird for us both to be fawning over the siblings. So, my feelings for my Lil Gidget, my Evie, remained buried deep inside my useless, rusting, Tin-Man heart while I sat on a smelly old barstool, getting turned on by reading her messages.
Evie: You’re part of the family, remember?
Me: We are many things, Gidge. Family isn’t one of them.
