Page 36 of Secrets in Love
“Evieee! I need you to do my haiw!” Iris called.
“Guess not.” As I padded my way to my door, I noticed my sadly neglected laptop sitting on my desk, gathering dust. I hadn’t written for weeks. Not since Finn blabbed about Nate. The forbidden feelings whirling deep inside me, which had intensified with each flirty exchange, had frightened me out of it. Who knew what wanton tales and lustful secrets may spill from my brain if I dared touch that keyboard? An ache, a heat, built between my legs.Fuck, just thinking about it…him… turns me to mush. How am I going to cope with him here?
“Perhaps…” I said aloud, shaking my hands and pacing circles on my rug like a crazy person. “Perhaps I need to write this down. Purge it all out. A literary version of rubbing one out to take the edge off before a date. People do that…right?”
The thing was, I wanted to be a children’s author, telling stories of brave little girls who dreamed big, not wanton virgins fantasizing about being impaled by…umm…big… things.
Staring back and forth between the door and my bed, I chewed my nails, fidgeted my hair into loose braids, and decided.
“Finn!” I croaked in the sickest voice I could manage while still yelling at the top of my lungs. “I’m not feeling so good. Are you able to get Iris to school today?”
Grumpy mumbles and giant clown feet clomped up the stairs before a mop of blonde curls and worried eyes appeared before me. “You okay? Iris said you looked a bit sick.”
“Yeah, nah. I think I might be coming down with something. I must just pop back to bed and try to sleep it off if that’s alright.”
Finn shook his head, stepped closer, and gently placed his hand on my forehead. At times, I could forget what a hulk of a man my brother was—this wasn’t one of them. All six-foot-four of him towered over me as he peered down with kind sympathy. “You do feel a bit warm. Come on. Back to bed with you.” He then took me by the shoulders and pushed me back to bed.
“Sorry, Finn.”
“Fuck it, Evie. How many times do we go through this? You’re not my employee and don’t need permission to have a sick day. I’m quite capable of getting myself and Iris ready.”
“I know you are, but I feel like it’s my job, my contribution to the house. God knows I don’t add anything else.”
Finn patted my head like a dog and sat beside me.
“Hey, that’s not true. You are the heart, the lifeblood of us all. What would I do without your whiny, high-pitched squeal nagging me every five minutes? Besides, you’ll soon be bringing home the big bucks as a famous dance teacher–slash–writer. Then I shall retire and sponge off you.” Laughing at himself, he pulled the blankets over my face and whacked me on top of my head. “Rest, woman. We need you to be healthy and happy.”
He was gone when I pulled myself out of my cocoon of shame. I’d just lied to him, lying right to his face and through omission as well. He had no idea what happened last night with Christian. About me losing my job and Iris getting kicked out of dance school. Not to mention his cluelessness over his best friend sending me flirty messages. And who could forget the minor detail that the very same bestie was currently wing-ing his way to see us…to me.
Time is what I needed, time and space to think and plan and panic. Also required was getting the filth out of my head and down on paper before I saw Nate, ‘cause God knew what I’d do to that boy if I saw him in the state I was in.
From the safety and innocence of my virtuous bed, I stared at my laptop. Visions of Nate running along the sand with his board tucked under his arm, of him surfing, of the command he held over the disobedient ocean, propelled me from my comfort zone and into the seat at my desk where soul-deep arousal assisted the sentences in forming.
He holds her body in his hands. With all calmness and strength, his desire appears in check while she shakes, trembling with fear and anticipation.
Though, on the inside, he is open and raw, longing to possess her. Wanting to taste her, waiting to plunge his…his…FFUUCCKKKK!
If I can’t even type it, how can I ride it?
I sat for five minutes with my finger on the letter C. I switched it to D, but that made no difference. Finn hollered from downstairs that he and Iris were leaving, and Jocelyn did the same a little later, and my response to both was, “Yeah, see ya.”
Thank fuck. I was alone.
The house was mine, and I needed inspiration.
Sneaking, despite knowing of her absence, I tiptoed into Jocelyn’s room, perusing the immaculately organized shelves lined with a rainbow of dog-eared free books until I found what I wanted. My aunt had been reading a series of books that had her gasping, sighing, and displaying other unmissable pearl-clutching traits you saw in a woman only when reading a truly erotic novel. I was not shy of a steamy book myself—Kandi Steiner, Tessa Bailey, and Tate James were some of my favorites. Those ladies knew how to dial up the heat. But I needed something new, something fresh.
“Ahh, there it is.”TheCrossfireSeriesby Sylvia Day. It was old school, but Jocelyn was no blushing wallflower. If this got her heart pumping, I couldn’t imagine what it could do for mine. Inexplicably still sneaking, I made my way to the kitchen, loaded myself with snacks and soda, and then headed back to bed.
I began my research.
She rode that cock like a cowgirl at her first rodeo. All enthusiasm, no skill or style. The pressure, the stretch, and the tightness all led her to fear he may split her right in two, yet she couldn’t stop. “More, give me more!” she demanded, clawing at his chest, opening wounds he would have trouble explaining to his wife when he got home.”
“His wife?” I said to myself with an evil cackle, “Wow, I’m bad. This is fun.”
“Nathan,” she cried, “Nathan. Please. Fuck me like you’ve never fucked any woman before!” Gripping the small of her back, twisting his hands through her hair, he flipped her, threw her legs over his shoulders, and pounded into her. He bent down to her, drew a tight, pink nipple into his mouth and bit down until she screamed his name.
“Oh God, Stevie!” He came then too, filling her…(Shit, can I? Yes, I can.) …pussy again and again with his hot cum, then collapsing against her breasts. “You’re mine, Stevie. Mine. Forever your first, always your last.”
