Page 63 of Secrets in Love
“Especially over Finn. Everything turns into a competition with him, and I am so sick of losing.” She faced me again, the smile gone.
“He’s still struggling with everything, you know. But I think he is on the verge of something special. Hopefully you’ll see what I mean tonight. I finally think he is going to be happy.”
“What about you, Eves? Are you ready to be happy too?” I reached for her hand, but she pulled away.
“Not everyone gets to be so lucky.” Her cryptic response came as she flipped onto her tummy and paddled away. Following the side-to-side sway of her ass was also a treat, but I’d have preferred her hand in mine. She’d barely touched me all day. I thought we had turned a corner, but I suddenly wasn’t so sure. An ominous doubt settled in my chest.
Luckily, the hour we had in the water was enough. The surf was dead, and it began to rain, so we called it quits. Naturally, I splashed her and flipped her off her board several times before making it to shore and starting our ascent. “I can’t believe we had to rappel down, then risk death climbing this fucking cliff for those pitiful waves.”
“Wah-wah-wah. God, I’d forgotten how much of a sooky baby you were.” I smacked her on the ass and delighted in the fire roaring to life in her eyes.
“You liked that a bit too much, didn’t you?”
“Ugh. As if.” I swung and slapped her cheeks again, but she started laughing and began running up the hill. I gave chase and caught her just as we reached the car. Gasping for air, we dropped our boards and continued fooling around until it came time to unzip from our suits. Shit got real, real fast. As they dangled around our waists, we stood face to face. Heaving chest to heaving chest. I struggled to focus on anything but the slow descent of the water droplets hugging the golden curves from her neck down until disappearing between her breasts. She seemed stuck too, staring at my lips like she wanted to devour them, her gaze shifting nervously between them, my eyes, and the car. She didn’t know what to do.
Every part of my body was aching to touch her, and my brain spat out what was either the smartest or dumbest thing I’d ever said. “You seem conflicted. Who’s going to break first?”
Heavy panting was the only noise between us for what felt like an eternity. I didn’t think it was possible for us to be any closer, but I was grateful to be proved wrong. She stepped in, pressing her soft body against mine and backing me against the Jeep door as her fingers brushed over my chest and she chewed on her lip.
“I feel like this is a bad decision.”
“Oh, it is, Lil Gidge. It’s the worst. But bad decisions make life more fun.” Every atom in my universe exploded as she stood on her tiptoes and closed her eyes. I closed mine and felt her lips skim mine before landing on my cheek.
“I can’t do this. I care about you too much. Please forgive me.”
That was not where I thought this was going.
And then she cried. Tears and sobs, the likes of which I hadn’t witnessed since the horrible dark days of death in our past, mixed with rain on her cheeks. I cocooned her in my arms, shielding her with every ounce of love I possessed. “You’re going home, Nate, and I’mnotcoming with you. My life is here, and if I give into this, if I let myself fall like I think I could, I will never get over it when you leave. Please, I’m begging you. Please let’s stop now. Let’s be friends—best friends. Let’s go home and see Iris, then go to dinner tonight and have a good time with Finn and enjoy the rest of the time we have.”
My world crumbled around me as I clung to her and tried to offer words of comfort and reassurance.
I don’t remember a word of what I said. All I remember is kissing her wet hair and holding her right until her tears subsided, then feeling her slip away as she left me to get changed in the privacy of the outdoor shower. How we packed up the car and left remains a mystery too. But the silent drive home in wet jeans that made a fart sound with each movement was the epitome of soul-destroying torture, and our looming dinner could only be even worse. Sitting next to her all night, pretending I was okay when I was anything but, would be the hardest thing I’d done since I lost my sister, but I had to do it for her. I was not going to be the one to make her cry like that ever again.
Evie
Rejecting Nate, watching him take it on the chin and try his best to make me feel better when I knew I had hurt him, opened a hole in my heart that I hadn’t expected. Every second I spent with the giant sandy-haired dork endeared him even more and reinforced my decision to stop anything before it started. If I let this happen, Nate would be the death of me.
But I’d put a stop to it, and the only problem I faced was getting my body to catch up with my brain. Controlling the undeniable lust surging through my veins and settling in my undies would not be easy. He was so sweet and hot, holding Iris. The way his forearms and biceps flexed when he picked her up was damn near fatal. We made it back to the city earlier than expected. Picking Iris up was a welcome distraction.
Her squeals of joy were the exact endorphin boost I, and probably Nate, needed. The glow in her cheeks and joy in her eyes as she spotted her beloved uncle at the school gate was something I’ll never forget.
“This is the bestest supwise evew!” she shrieked. “Did you bwing me a pwesant?”
“Maybe,” Nate laughed, “but if I did, it would be packed away in my bag and buried in the car trunk. You’ll have to wait till we get home, Booba.”
“You can’t call me Booba anymore. I’m too gwown up.”
“Oh really.” He looked at me and winked. “Well, if you don’t laugh while I tickle you, I will stop calling you Booba. If you laugh, I can call you Booba till you’re one hundred.”
“That’s not faiw! You know I wove tickles.” She roared, laughing as Nate held her in one arm and unleashed a tickle onslaught. “It doesn’t mattew anyway, ‘cause you’ll be dead when I’m one hundred!”
“Iris!” I gasped.
“Don’t worry, Aunty Evie. I’ll take care of this cheeky monkey.” He threw Iris over his shoulder—in a fashion I wouldn’t mind myself had I not just sworn off him—and picked up her school bag in the other. “Now you’re really going to get it!”
The tickling lasted the first three blocks home before Iris either passed out from exhaustion and lack of oxygen or fell asleep. In hindsight, that was something I should have checked. During her out-of-it moment, I received a text from Finn.
Finn the Dork: Eves. I’m working late with Scarlett. Don’t expect me home for dinner.
