Page 74 of Secrets in Love
“Crying? I wasn’t crying, bub.”
“Yes, you were. Uncle Nate was too. I got up to go to the bathroom and heawd you both. You wewe like, uhh, uhh, uhhhhh, ooohhhh, like moany, sad ghosts.”
I froze. Nate dropped his juice and took on the complexion of the ghost he apparently sounded like. Jocelyn erupted into laughter and started gagging and choking on the sausage she’d just swallowed. Nate jumped to action, leaning over and violently pounding on her back. It did the trick, possibly making him feel betteranddislodging the troublesome pork piece that flew from her mouth and hit me right in the middle of my forehead.
Entirely unfazed by the chaos around her and not waiting for a reply, Iris picked up her plate, skipped into the living room, and switched on the TV.
Bluey the Dog’s voice floated into the kitchen, and Jocelyn seized the day, excitedly grabbing and waving my hand. “I knew it! I knew that’s what you were talking about. You two finally got together, didn’t you? Didn’t you?”
“Jeepers, Jocie. You’re going to rip my arm off!” I tore it from her grip and rubbed my red wrist.
“Don’t you dare keep secrets from me, Evie,” she warned, pointing her finger in my face. “I have waited years for this.”
“Pfft, you have,” Nate scoffed dryly.
Spinning in her seat, the finger left me and was aimed at Nate. “So, I’m right, then? You kissed Evie?”
“Yep.”
“Nate!” I bellowed.
“Though, technically, she kissed me,” he added with a grin.
“And I never will again,” I lied.
“Oh, yes, you will!” In a remarkable turn of speed, Jocelyn leapt from her seat and squished me into her ample bosom. “Deny it all you like, Missy. But you idiots have been pining for each other for eons. You’re like magnets, always finding each other, never able to stay apart when close. I don’t think I have a photo of you all where you aren’t side by side. Oh, and I will never forget how Nate supported and cared for you after your parents died and how you did the same for him when we lost Shelby.” Despite my best efforts, tears fell down my cheeks. “You’re both incredible people and deserve to be happy…together.” After peppering me with kisses, she moved to Nate and repeated the affections.
“Jocie, you’re jumping the gun. We kissed once—”
“Twice,” Nate interjected, “and it was a bit more than kissing.”
“Nate!” I could have killed him. “And we have some major issues. Finn being one, and a few thousand miles of ocean between us another—”
“Shut up, the both of you,” Jocelyn snapped while flashing a disturbing smile. Finn had often compared her evil grin to Cruella de Vil. I never got it till that moment. “I will take Iris out for a few hours and give you some space, but I leave you with a warning.” Her finger whipped back out and waved back and forth between us. “Do not fuck this up. Evie, no more pushing people away. No more putting everyone else first. And Nathaniel,” she said, spinning to face Nate, “do anything to harm my girl, and Finnley and his fists will be the least of your concerns. Oh, and if you need condoms, I have a box in the top drawer of my bedside table.” On that gag-inducing note, she floated from the room.
A frustrating hour or so passed by, and still, no one had heard from Finn.
“I’m not even trying anymore,” I snapped, throwing my phone on my bed, and crossing my arms over my chest. “That idiot can get stuffed…oh…maybe I’ll try just one more time.” I crawled to my bed on my hands and knees and grabbed my phone.
Jocelyn pledged to take Iris out and leave us alone, and Nate and I had been sitting on the floor, trying to call my brother, and killing time without either of us admitting that was what we were doing. We’d ended up in my room in a bid for some kind of privacy. Either Iris, who was understandably excited to see her uncle, or Jocie, who was just plain nosey, had followed us everywhere else we sought solitude. Leaning against walls on opposite sides of the room happened because I was too tempted and refused to sit next to Nate on the bed but felt guilty for making him sit on the floor alone after Iris stole the chair from my room, and I couldn’t be bothered retrieving it.
Finn being a big cry-baby—ignoring me, Nate, Jocie, and even Scarlett—and switching his phone off was the icing on the shitty morning cake.
The distraction of it all should have been welcomed. It gave me time, and time felt like my only friend when even my brain had turned on me.
Over the years, I had extensively compartmentalized my life and my brain. For example, there was the house-proud aunty department; the lustful,SexandtheCitycrew; the free-spirited, twenty-something, secretly-yearning-for-adventure gang; Frigid Evie had a little nook; and then there was my personal favorite: the lonely, cranky, moody, virgin-spinster-full-of-fear department—the LCMVSFF—which took up substantial space. But so many of those compartments had now jumped on Team Nate thatI,being the sensible, rational, logical division, felt like a separate entity. One that was very much ganged up on.
The lusties refused to stop hurling around images of Nate kissing me through my knickers as he squeezed my knockers. The free spirit, traditionally responsible for a lot of my clothing choices, kept suggesting sexy items we could wear while backpacking around Blow Me Down and Dildo in Canada. While the biggest disappointment of them all, the LCMVSFF, had locked Frigid Evie away and was running around naked, twirling my red undies on her finger, and screaming, “Get that boy naked, and let’s get this shit done!”
Poor Nate sat on my soft shag rug, readingPrideandPrejudicewhile looking all sexy and shit, with no idea of the lewd, immoral thoughts spinning around in my head or the conflict being waged between myself and my other selves.
A loud knock on my door and Jocie popping her head around the corner scared the crap out of me and snapped me from my impending mental health crisis. “I am so sorry, darlings. I promised you time alone, and I have been unable to deliver.” Disappointment crossed Nate’s face, and Lizzy and Darcy hit the deck. “Until now!” She chuckled. “Had you going, didn’t I, Nate? Don’t fear. We are leaving now and will return in a few hours… Oh, and I will send a courtesy warning message when we head home.” After a wink and a wave, she was off.
The minute the front door closed, Nate made his move. Crawling toward me on his hands and knees, he resembled a starving, caged lion finally set free to feast on the gazelle that sat stunned, petrified, but equally hungry before it. It was clear by the look on his face that Nate stood with the LCMVSFF, excepthewanted to be twirling my knickers onhisfinger.
“You’re my best friend, Nate. I don’t want that to change,” I whispered in a tone so sad but sultry I almost didn’t recognize it as my own.
He continued crawling. His pace was so slow I began to shake with anticipation. “Things have already changed. It will never be the same between us, Gidge, and I don’t want it to be. You’re my everything, Evie. I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember, but hearing the panic in your voice when Christian hurt you and knowing I could lose you, that I wasn’t there to protect you, nearly killed me. But I’m here now, and I’m never letting you go.”
