Page 96 of Secrets in Love
♥ I love how you can say the most romantic, sexy things a woman could dream of, then come out with the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard a second later.
♥ I really love your bum.
♥ I love your daisy tattoo. And I love that it’s over your beautiful heart.
♥I love that you make me cupcakes and clean the kitchen afterward. That you clean the shower and make the bed, even putting the pretty pillows you apparently hate back into perfect order while I’m at work.
♥ I love that you’re willing to give up your life to come here for me, even when I was too scared to do the same for you.
♥ I love that you tell me you love me every day, even when I can’t.
♥ I love how much you love me.
♥ I love you.
“Hey, get back here, Gidge. My fingers are feeling mighty feely.”
Smiling, I quickly folded the paper and tucked it in his suitcase on the way back to bed.
Nate
“Nathaniel. I’m sure I am overreacting, but something’s wrong with Finn. He barricaded himself in his room last night and won’t come out. Scarlett is constantly calling. The poor thing is beside herself, as is Iris—oh, hello, darling.” Voices dulled, like Jocelyn dropped the phone against her neck or into her palm. Even so, I could hear Iris’s little voice and footsteps in the background. “Why don’t you get yourself some breakfast? There might even be a little bit of that yummy cake left over.”
I heard Iris’s little, “Yummmssss,” and then the clatter of plates and scraping chairs on the floor. Jocelyn stayed silent for a second or two once all fell silent, then returned to the phone, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Nate… It’s bad, Nate. I could hear him crying, sobbing all night…and not Olaf-melting-in-Frozen-Twosobs. I’m talkingInside-Out-Bing-Bong-fading-level distress.”
She may have been making light, but the unmistakable tremble of fear in her voice was jolting. Hopefully, it wasn’t justified.
When my twin sister, Shelby, died at seventeen, so dark was the depression Finn fell into that we all feared we had lost him too. What Jocelyn described as Finn locking himself away, hiding from the world, was how he coped with Shelby’s loss. It took years for him to find his way back to the light. Seeing him finally content with Scarlett meant so much to us all. The guy deserved a break—just not the kind that involved his heart.
Rolling away from the still-snoozing Evie, I slipped from the bed and hid in the bathroom, my toes curling as they hit the cold tiles. “Shit, Jocie. What the hell happened? He’s been so happy.”
“I don’t know, darling. He won’t say a word. I’ve tried to manage it without ruining your time away, but Iris and I need Evie back here. Now.”
A selfish part of me considered saying no. That Evie wouldn’t be coming back early. That Jocie had to wrangle Finn out of his spiral by herself. That Evie…that Evie and I deserved some time alone. That this damn call was proving Evie right.
They needed her.
But I did too.
A shudder of shame rolled through me, and I replied the only way I could. “Of course. I’ll wake Gidge, we’ll pack up the car and be home as soon as we can.”
Jocelyn released a tired, heavy sigh. “Thank you, Nate.”
Then she was gone, taking with her a fraction of the hope I’d been clinging to.
We’d been back in the city for a few hours, and things weren’t going well…for anybody. Particularly the innocent timber of Finn’s bedroom door that had almost been ripped, kicked, and torn off its hinges as we hit stage four of Evie’s let-me-help-you-dammit rage cycle.
The rage was as predictable as the sun rising in the east and setting in the west and loosely followed the path set by the traditional five stages of grief.
1. Denial - “I can’t believe this might be happening again. It can’t.”
2. Depression - “We are just not meant to be happy. Love is useless. Life is shit.”
3. Bargaining - “Please, Finny. If you just come out and talk, then afterward, I will take you to get pizza…or chocolate. I saw they had some Caramello Koalas at the Down Under deli. What about it?”
4. Anger - “Finn Austen, you massive ass. Open this door now, or I will smash it and your face.”
5. Acceptance.
