Page 66 of Trouble in Love
My stomach clenched.Ouch, that hurt.Now. I hadn’t cried in front of Evie Austen since I was a fat, heartbroken sixteen-year-old. Hurt or not, and I wasn’t about to start. “Perhaps, but to be honest, we are planning on having so much fun travelling, spending his money, and fucking,” I said with a wink, “that I doubt that we’ll find the time for it. Besides, as excited as Luca is, and as good as the sex is, it can’t last. This is an … agreement of sorts. A coming together of kindred sex drives that also gets me away from mum.” Everything, apart from the getting away from mum part, was crap. Evie didn’t need to know that, though.
“So, you’re using him, then?” Evie snapped. “I should rip you to shreds for saying such a thing about such a sweet guy, but with your history and shithouse attitude, a temporary situation between the two of you is probably for the best. Especially if it means no kids. The world has enough problems without your offspring polluting it further.” Instinctively, my hand clutched my stomach. “Still, it’s a shame for Luca. He’s a goner for you. He’s also too good for—”
“Too good for the likes of me. Yeah, yeah. I get it.” Steeling my resolve, I gave a nonchalant shrug, picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. “So that’s your peace offering, is it? Insulting me and my unborn while praising my soon-to-be husband?”
Evie opened her giant mouth to reply but paused and sunk her teeth into her bottom lip. “No, it’s not. That was uncalled for. I apologize.”
Well, fuck me.
“Motherhood has tamed you, Eves.”
Scoffing, she looked off into the distance, her eyes glimmering when they landed on Nate and the kids. “Maybe. Or maybe I just watchedMaleficentfor the three-hundredth time and was reminded that all villains have an origin story. Even skanky ones like you.”
Surprised, I reared back a little. “Is that supposed to be a compliment? Because if so, it sucks.”
“Fuck, no. It’s a statement of understanding. I know how much the teasing and name calling affected you when we were kids, and I know how much you liked Luke. But I need you to know Ididn’tknow that until after we dated, and I definitely didn’t know what he did to you … that night.” Something changed in face, and for brief second, I caught a flash of the old Evie. The one who used to punch boys in the guts when they called me names, and who promised to always have my back. “I would never have gone out with him if I knew how you felt, and I know what an assault like that can do to your psyche. In no way does it excuse what you tried to do to me and Nate, but in some fucked up sick and twisted way, it does help me to understand where the motivation began.” Tears stung my eyes, forcing me to look to the ground. “Ughh, God. Are you getting all emo?”
“Fuck, no.” I said, parroting her tone.
“Good, ‘cause I’m only saying this because we plan to spend more time in New York when the kids get older, and Finn and Nate have fallen into some weird-ass best friend throuple thing with Luca that’s freaking adorable. If you and him stay together, I need to be okay with you being around … and I need to know you will keep your smutty mitts off.”
“Off Nate?” I scoffed. “Ahh, trust me, Evie. I have no interest in Nate.”
“Why? He’s not good enough for you?”
“What? Now you’re offended I don’t want him?”
She stood and stared for a second before flushing red. “Just shut up and for once in your life do the right thing … and be good to Luca. Okay?”
“I’ll do my best.” The sincerity in my tone seemed to shock the hell out of Evie more than any smart ass jab I could have dished out and we fell into an awkward staring competition I feared may turn into a fist fight if someone didn’t intervene.
“Evie. You came?” Thank fuck it was Luca who broke it, sweeping in to lift her off her feet and into a warm hug.Affection returned to Evie’s eyes. “I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“Snort. If you think I would letherstop me seeing my boys off, you’ve learned nothing about me during your stay. Besides, I had a few things to say to this.” After a stabby stink-eye at me then returned her doe-eyes to Luca. “When Ted and Asher first asked if you could come stay with us, they told me you’re trusting and loyal to a fault. They were right. I just hope you know what you’re getting yourself into here.”
“By here she means me,” I clarified. None was needed. “And as much as I appreciate such darling terms of affection asher, this,andhere, I think it’s time for us to go.”
It was then that Teddy and Asher returned from bag check-in and the soppy farewells began. It was nauseating. But maybe kind of nice, too. Several weeks had passed since Luca’s arrival and the impact he made was clear to see. They loved him, maybe I did too.
Once everyone but me had been hugged and kissed a hundred times, and Finn’s daughter, Iris, had been surgically removed from Luca’s waist, it was finally time to say goodbye to Byron.
After aninterestingTeddy-anecdote-filled flight from Ballina to Sydney, I used our layover time to make a mad dash to my apartment to collect more of my things. Which I really did need to do.ButI also needed space. With each second that passed, my chaotic inner voice had grown louder. Her words increasingly cruel.
Eventually the other shoe will drop. The novelty will wear off. He will discover the real you and hate you like everyone … including your own mother, does.
Once cocooned in the safety of my own four walls, I hit play, turned my music to the highest volume, and suffered a complete and utter breakdown on the bathroom floor. Googling my man whilst there, didn’t help. Each picture and article increased my anxiety. Every TikTok confirmed my worst fears. Luca was everything I wasn’t. Loved and supported by family, friends, fans and teammates. So much so that a public bisexual outing, a scandal many would not have survived, served only to increase his popularity, leaving women and men across the States fawning.
Egged on by ballad after depressing ballad, I continued to wallow in unworthiness. But somewhere along the line, perhaps during the tenth scream-sung ten-minute version ofAll Too Well,a Taylor inspired, cliched, epiphany arrived.
After a life spent dancing with the devil, walking away from Luca would be my one unforgivable sin. The hockey god had shone his light on the darkness lurking within me. Found me worthy and capable of redemption and chosen to be with me.
Me.
Even if this thing collapsed around me, ending in nothing but my own deserved ruination, I had to give us a shot.
Glorious self-pity turned to uncharacteristic self-empathy, and everything shifted. Within minutes I was out the door, popping in to say goodbye to Luna and her family, beforejumping in another Uber that rushed me to the airport to rejoin the boys. Only one thing, rather two people, came close to ruining my high. Dad and Holly. The duo called several times while my driver was navigating Sydney traffic, and I found the best way to deal with the constant interruption was toaccidentallywedge my phone between the Camry’s leather seat and armrest and leave it there.
Mind you, it was a choice that made spotting Luca amongst the sea of transient faces all the more difficult. When I finally set eyes upon him snoozing against Teddy’s shoulder outside of a Starbucks, my heart gave a telling squeeze.
