Page 38 of Trouble in Love
Teddy’s version of events had to be wrong. That couldn’t be my princess. Couldn’t be the girl who captured my imagination. But then I remembered Anabela’s words: ‘You’re not in love with an Australian you’ve tongue fucked twice.’
When Clara left me at the altar, she made me believe I was a trusting, self-destructive fool who’d spent a year and a half chasing shadows at midnight.
Polly had confirmed it.
Christ. I’d thought of myself falling in love but until seconds ago, I didn’t know her name. I didn’t know her at all.
It was too much to process too quickly and when I was finally able to raise my eyes she was gone.
“That chick’s got more front than Myer. I can’t believe she’s back … and that she would come to Glutton. She knows it’s Evie’s favorite breakfast place.”
As with most things Australians said, I had no clue what that meant, but what I did know was that Finn was pissed. From what I’d seen of him thus far, Finn Austen was a mild—albeit sexy—beast of a man who wouldn’t harm a fly. But his protective side was on show as he drove me, Teddy, and Asher home, whileScarlett did the same for Evie, Nate, and the babies. Apparently, it was the safest option. All genuinely feared if Finn drove his sister her would say something stupid, but also knew if left alone, Evie may abscond and hunt Polly down. This way, Nate could restrain Evie in the back seat and Scarlett could provide words of wisdom. Or know when to shut up.
For the twenty minutes we had been on the road, Finn had been giving us American visitors the full—stick-figure sex poses free—rundown.
Neighbors their whole lives, Nate had been in love with Evie for the majority of that time, and though she would never admit it, Evie was much the same. When Polly realized how deep the two’s feelings ran, she did everything to break them apart. She even went as far as sleeping naked next to a drunken Nate, knowing that Evie would discover them.
“Why would she go to those lengths, though?” I asked, poking my head between the two front seats as we turned off the highway and bumped our way down the long dirt drive that led to the Myers’ property. “She’s a beautiful girl who could get any guy she wanted.”
“That’s not the point, mate,” Finn said, releasing his grip on the wheel to tap his temple. “You’re not thinking bunny boiler enough. Any guy was too easy and involved too little emotional torture. She wanted to inflict pain. She wanted to cause trouble. She didn’t wantanyguy. She wanted Evie’s.”
Polly
Luna, possibly the sweetest, most stupid person I’ve ever met, once said the wisest thing I’ve ever heard: ‘‘You don’t feel the weight of something until you feel the absence of it.’ Yes, she was talking about removing her pajamas after stepping into the running shower, but still. When applied to a non-ridiculous scenario, it was surprisingly brilliant.
The pain I carried since the night Luke Bailey … hurt me had become an invisible cloak I wore constantly without even realizing it. I didn’t choose to put it on. After two nights, and a series of ridiculous messages a golden-hearted boy with killer dimples had begun to lift it off, bringing a taste of joy, and sunshine and lightness back to my life. That boy, Luca, looked at me without prejudice. Without the mistakes of my past distorting his vision.
He just sawme. And he liked me.
Liked.
Past tense.
It had been three days since I walked into that stupid freaking cafe for the stinking delicious waffles my hips would instantly carry. In one fleeting glance across a crowded cafe, that cloak was back, and it was thicker and heavier than ever. Barbs had possibly been added too, and I deserved it. The just punishment would never end.
Desperate for her copy of T.V. Week and distraught that the hospital newsstand had none, Mum had pushed me out the door with a ten-dollar bill and a guilt trip only she could deliver. “This may be my last ever copy, Plop. Your old mum needs to know what’s happening onHome and Awaybefore this fever takes her.” The woman hadn’t had a fever for days, but still, it worked. And since fate fucking hated me, I saw him. Walking down the aisle, then stopping to peruse the children’s coloring books, the oldest Austen-Myers cherubs holding a hand on either side.
“Luca. Pick me up,” they’d demanded in perfect unison, their round little bellies jiggling with mirth. And he did. Looking like he was lifting a feather, he picked up one twin, popped her on his left shoulder, then plopped the second on the right. Adorable.
“Let’s find your daddy and show him how tall you are.” Giggling along with them, he carried them right past me—so close I wondered how he couldn’t have seen me.
Then I realized he probably did. He just didn’t want to.
Evie got my man again.
Not that he was mine. And not that I cared, because as I kept telling myself while moping in my room, listening toSomebody that I used to knowon repeat and pretending I had a cold,it was just a two-time, one-time thing.
“Are you okay, Plop?” Dad asked, his voice soft and sweet as he tapped at my door. “Are you still feeling sick?”
“A little, but I’m up and getting ready for work.”
“Are you sure, darling? You haven’t been yourself for days. Just promise me you will take the night off if you need it. You’ve worked every day since you arrived. You need to rest.”
I could hear the worry in his voice and wanted to climb off the floor and out the door to soothe him. But as long as he couldn’t see my tired, bloodshot eyes, there was a chance he might believe me. Then maybe I would believe me, too.
“I will, Dad, but I’m fine, I promise.”
Without the gym I frequented being just around the corner or my bedroom-cluttering treadmill, I did what I did as a fat teen desperate to lose weight and garner attention: I hit the beach. Mid-spring water temperatures could vary between freezing your knockers off and tolerable, so my morning jog, followed by a swim at my favorite local spots not only burned some calories but snapped me from my daily haze. And I needed that more than I had in a long time.
