Page 61 of Trouble in Love
“Pretty much, yeah, but—”
“Nope. No buts, Luca.” In a manner she undoubtably wanted to repeat on me, the ice pack was crushed between her fingers and then tossed out the open passenger side window. “I don’t want to hear it. That … that evil fucking woman tried to take everything I loved away from me, and knowing that, you’ve still chased her behind my back.”
“She’s not evil!” I yelled. “You know nothing about what she’s been through. What she’s carried alone for all these years. He fucked her up, Evie. She wasn’t with that prick like you think she was. That bastard pinned her down and forced—” I stopped, biting the inside of my cheek to hold the truth I had no right to share inside. “I am never going to defend what she did to you. It was wrong. One hundred percent, but she was broken and scared and … and just fucking broken.”
Evie’s eyes darted between me and the road, the one handed white-knuckling becoming two. “I know what kind of man Luke Bailey is.” She swallowed heavily and took a slow, deep breath. “Are you saying what I think you are?”
“Yes. I think so, yes.”
“Fuck,” muttered Asher from the back seat. “Poor Polly. I mean … um. Sorry, Eves. I’ll shut up.”
All three of us followed Asher’s lead and fell back into silence. The steady hum of tires on asphalt mixing with the peaceful vibes of Angus and Julia Stone almost lulling me to sleep. At least I hoped it was that and not a concussion. Beside me, perhaps struggling with the discomfort of my unauthorized revelations, Evie resumed muttering, wriggling in her seat, tutting and sighing before suddenly punching the center of the steering wheel and cursing at the top of her lungs.
“Fucking hell! Thanks, Luca. You just made hating that bitch a whole lot harder.”
Polly
Shock. I’m in shock.
To volunteer as sign language interpreters, Luna and I had to first take an extensive CPR and first aid course. This meant I knew all the signs. Slowed pulse rate. Body chills. Cold, moist skin. Altered state of consciousness. I also knew I was in the car with Nate and Teddy, and I knew they, mostly Teddy, were talking. Some might say rambling. But for most of the trip home, all I could hear was the crack of Luke’s nose, and the blood covering Luca’s gorgeous face was all I could see. Was it just that? The sights and sounds of chaos that brought on the wave of shock rendered me speechless. Or was it Luca’s actions? Or Nate’s? Or the realization that I’d left my parents and Elias behind?
I’d been involved in, and the cause of many a fracas, but no one had ever foughtfor mebefore. That just wasn’t my story. What was mine, what I’d held inside for all those years, was suddenly not so hidden. Not so secret. But free.
“Are you okay?” Nate asked as we neared the pub, his soft tone and eyes dripping with empathy I didn’t deserve. Not from him, anyway. “Tell me if I’m crossing a boundary here, Pol. But can I ask you something?”
A haughty laugh slipped out, surprising even me. “Natey, I think any boundaries that existed between us were eliminated that time I laid before you stark naked and invited you to eat sushi of my bare snatch. Ask away.”
Teddy choked on nothing in the backseat, but Nate gave me one of the cute lopsided smirks I hadn’t been blessed with for a very long time. “When my years of sluttery first began, Mum sat me down and gave me a good talking too. She was worried, you see. How I was treating the girls I was with.”
Janet, Nate’s mum, had nothing to be concerned about. Yes, her son was a hoochie, the biggest I’d ever known. But he was a respectful one who always laid his cards on the table before he laid anything in his bed… and he always sought consent. “Among the conversations I wanted to burn from my brain and never, ever remember again was a story I could never forget. Technically, Mum wasn’t a virgin when she met Dad. She had this boyfriend in high school, a guy called Wayne, who used to own the electronics store on High Street. Remember him?” I nodded but remained silent, my normal witty quips not quite ready to return to action. “Well, when I was nine, I was out with Mum and Dad, and we ran into Wayne, and the look on Mum’s face was just the same as yours was when you were talking to Luke. And Dad …” Nate shook his head. “Dad looked as fucking psycho as Luca did. It wasn’t until Mum’s sex chat that I knew why. Wayne had forced himself on her. Had taken what was never his to take and left Mum empty. She never told a soul, but one day Dad finally forced her to tell the truth about why Wayne the sparkie always freaked her out.”
“Poor Janet,” I whispered, instantly picturing the warm smile she always wore when she gave me a chunk of lemon poppyseed cake. “She’s always been so good to me. She used to stick up for me when Mum was being a cow. She gave me cake, too.”
“I know. I remember.” Nate smiled. “You never deserved the wrath of your Mum, Pol, and you most definitely didn’t deserve what I suspect Luke did.”
“Yeah, well, you and Evie didn’t deserve what I did, but just like Luke and Wayne, I can never take it back.”
Nate leaned over and nudged me with his elbow, just like he used to do as a brat with a board beneath his arm at the beach. “No, you’re right. You can’t. But unlike them, maybe you deserve and can earn forgiveness.”
Standing beside a boy I’d grown up with and a stranger who’d complimented my boobs five times and brought up Taylor Swift seven in our brief car ride home, I huddled beneath the back porch listening to my parents arguing. It was something they didn’t do a lot of, but when they did, more often than not, it was because of me. Clearly, they hadn’t heard Nate’s car pull up, and I wasn’t about to barge in and say hi. In hindsight, that was a mistake.
Or maybe it wasn’t.
“I’m done with her, Murray. I don’t care if we need her help at the pub; I don’t want her here. She has humiliated me for the last time.”
“Connie, that’s enough. You’re being unreasonable. We don’t even know what happened.” The surprise at hearing my sweet dad raise his voice at Mum distracted me from her words. But not for long.
“What do you mean we don’t know what happened? Of course we know what happened. Two men, one of them being Pam-bloody-Bailey’s son, were fighting over her. She’s probably sleeping with them both or their wives, and they found out. Poor Elias is upstairs packing his things, and I will be the laughingstock all over again. Why can’t she be more like her sister?” she continued, her voice breaking as her tears increased. “Settled with a baby. We should never have had her. I’m so ashamed. That bloody accident may as well have kill—”
“Connie, I said that’s enough!”
The first fat tear rolled from my eye, landing on my cheek with such a force I’m sure Teddy and Nate heard it splat. Then came another, and another, and another till I was Alice in fucking Wonderland, lost so far down the rabbit hole I didn’t know light from day.
“Polly,” Nate whispered, “she doesn’t mean it, yeah? She’s just upset and lashing out. Fuck, Eves wishes me dead three times a day.”
“Bullshit.” I sobbed, wiping the snot from my nose. “She thinks the world shines out of your arse. Now shut up so I can listen.”
“Con, no matter how upset you are, you cannot talk about our Polly like that. Do you hear me?”
