Page 95 of Trouble in Love
The implications of her revelation were beginning to sink in, but there was no way in hell I would let her see that. “No. It’s not all I have to say, but it’s all I will say … apart from this. You’re not worth my contempt, regret, remorse, or time, Clara. I know what love looks, smells, and tastes like now, and I chose that. She … Polly… kids or not is who deserves my time.”
“She’ll never make you happy.”
“She already has. Now fuck off.”
Polly
“Iknow you’re surprised to hear from me, but I need advice, and no one else thinks like I do. For once in my life, I don’t want to run or pretend or manipulate.” I waited for the inevitable,are you even capable of that?But it didn’t come.
“I’m proud of you, darling. And I’m so happy that after everything, you trust me enough to come to me.”
“Mum, are you crying?”
“No. Don’t be ridiculous.” She totally was. “I have hay fever.”
“Oh, of course. So, what do you think?”
She sighed, the cane squeaking as she wriggled in her chair before sighing again. “I don’t think you should leave. I think you should stay. Janet Myers says Luca is a wonderful young man, and Evie told her he loves you very much. If Evie says that, well … you know. “
Evie said that? My heart almost burst. “But what if I ruin everything he’s worked so hard to repair?”
“You won’t be ruining anything. Those sicko siblings would be, and if you leave now, you’re letting them win. As far as I’mconcerned, you, with more than enough help from me, have kept yourself from a happy future for long enough. This time, you need to fight that urge to self-sabotage. You need to let your heart decide.”
The problem was, I didn’t know how to do that.
“I have an image to repair and so do you. This will get the team off my back, your mom off yours and get you away from Elias the smiling jerk. Plus, we can have an awesome time together while doing it. In six months, if you’re miserable, you can just come home. No biggie.”
In knee-high grass on the side of a road, while breathing in the stench of a truck hauling a few hundred sheep, the love of my life spoke those words. It may have been the most unromantic, worst-smelling proposal in history. But it was mine.
Nothing could ever take that away.
But that didn’t mean I could stay.
Mum told me to follow my heart. To do the right thing. So, I was going to. This time I couldn’t be Nyx. Couldn’t bear to be the darkness that swept away his light. My sense of dread was crippling in weight, cracking my ribs, stealing my breath, destroying the heart I once thought I didn’t possess.
This is why I don’t do relationships.
Suffering a pain entirely of my own doing, Toto had been kissed within an inch of her life and dropped off at Tilly’s. The house was cleaned from bottom to top, my things packed. By the time Luca’s headlights cast ominous shadows on the kitchen walls, I was ready to say goodbye.
“Pol! You here?” He hollered, bursting through the door with an enthusiasm that brought a smile to my face, “You won’tbelieve what just happened. Hey, why are all the lights out? Pol, where are you? Shit, are you naked? Are we going to fuck in the kitchen again? Wait… Please tell me this isn’t a surprise party, and my mom’s here and heard that.”
“I’m here, Luca.”’ I giggled, “You’re safe. There’s no party.”Trust me.
A light flicked on, turning the windows into mirrors and giving me the first in-the-flesh glimpse of my beautiful boy in two weeks. Dashing in his lucky grey suit he always wore while traveling, his eyes shone, his hair was a mess, and his dimples popped. “What, no running to greet me with open arms. No nudity? No … Polly, why are you crying?” He rushed toward me, plucking me from the seat I’d been frozen to for the past two hours and pulling me into his arms. “Is it Toto? Where is she? What happened—” His words caught in his throat as he glanced around the room. “Polly. Why are there suitcases by the back door?”
“Toto is fine, and they’re there because I’m leaving.”
“What do you mean? Where are you going?” I saw on his face that he knew, and six feet and four inches of muscle collapsing on top of me confirmed it. In seconds, my hair was soaked with tears. Where they his? Mine? I didn’t know or care. I just needed them to stop.
“I’ll tell you everything, I promise, but I need you to get off me and sit down. I can’t quite breathe.”
“Shit.” With one final squeeze, he relaxed his grip but didn’t let me go. Instead, he dropped like a stone, collapsing against the tile floor with a thud I felt in every bone and taking me with him. “Princess, I don’t understand. Why? Where are you going?” He paused, then tensed. “Does Clara have something to do with this?”
“No … she doesn’t. I’ve just decided to go home.”
“You are home. This is your home.”
“It’s not anymore, Luca. It can’t be.”
