Page 58 of No Turning Back
I run my hands through my hair, realizing I didn't even brush it before racing over here. "We kissed, remember. Then when I got home, a bunch of stuff happened and the whole time there was this energy between us." My voice catches. "Then this morning he comes into the kitchen all serious and tells me he doesn't want to 'complicate things.' That he wants to be my friend."
“Eesh.” She winces.
"It was a perfect kiss too. I mean, I practically melted into him." I stare up at the ceiling, feeling the frustration bubble up inside me. "And then he just... ugh!"
Kate sets her mug on the coffee table, suddenly more alert. "Wait, back up. What did he say exactly?"
"He said I'm fragile," I say, picking at a loose thread on the couch. "I mean he said I’m going through something but basically I give off weak energy or something. Then he said I came to him for a friend and that's what he's going to be." I feel the heat rising in my cheeks as I repeat his words, each one cutting deeper the second time around.
Kate doesn't respond, just watches me like she’s thinking.
I throw a hand up in exasperation. "Yes, Kate, he sucks. You can say it."
"I didn't say anything," she replies, the corner of her mouth twitching.
"You didn't have to. Your face said it all." I grab one of her decorative pillows and hug it to my chest. "I mean, who does that? Kisses someone like... like that and then turns around and says they just want to be friends?"
Kate sighs, leaning forward. "I see where he might be coming from."
I look at her, shocked. "You think I'm fragile?"
"No," she says, shaking her head. "But come on. After you found out about the bastard and the woman he knocked up, you were in a bad place for a while."
I look at her, ready to deny everything, the words already forming on my lips.
She cuts me off. "You would get drunk and call me in the middle of the night crying."
I grimace, sinking deeper into the couch. "I'd forgotten that."
"And you took like a month-long sabbatical when you love your job."
I shrug, feeling defensive. "That last bit didn't have anything to do with the bastard. I liked living at the ranch. It was peaceful. I was reluctant to leave, sue me."
Kate gives me a look that says she doesn't quite believe me. "All I'm saying is maybe Sam's trying to protect you. And himself."
"From what?" I ask, throwing my hands up. "From me?"
"From getting hurt.”
"You think I'd hurt him?" I ask, my voice falling to a whisper.
Kate's expression softens. "Not intentionally."
"Quinn, I love you." She reaches for my hand.
I pull away, crossing my arms. "Whenever someone says it like that, there's a 'but' after it."
"Yet," she says, leaning back against the cushions, "you do have a tendency to run when things get hard."
I open my mouth then close it, the denial dying on my lips. I look down at my hands. "I might do that."
The admission hangs between us, heavy and uncomfortable. Kate doesn't press the point, just watches me with those knowing eyes that make me feel like I'm under a microscope.
"I don't run from everything," I say finally, my voice smaller than I'd like.
Kate just smiles, the same pity smile that's always driven me crazy. I run my fingers through my tangled hair in frustration.
"Can I borrow a hairbrush? I can't go to work with this nest," I sigh, gesturing to the disaster on my head.
