Page 75 of No Turning Back
Kate shrugs, one hand drumming the steering wheel. “Women do it too.”
I bark out a laugh, sharp and humourless. “Oh, come on. That’s not the same.”
She gives me a side-eye. “It’s not different either.”
“So that was it, huh?” My voice cracks but I push through. “Our relationship, our marriage, just sex to him? Are you fucking kidding me?”
Kate keeps her eyes on the road, jaw tight. She doesn’t answer, so of course I keep talking, words spilling like I can outrun the ache in my chest.
“I know how we started,” I say, voice lower now. “Friends with benefits. Fine. But then feelings happened, at least, they did for me. Apparently, they never did for him.”
Kate sighs through her nose. “You’re not gonna make me turn this car around and ask him that, are you?”
I laugh at her scared tone. “No. I got my closure.”
“Thank God,” she mutters, relaxing against the wheel. Then, without missing a beat: “Now we can talk about Sam.”
I groan, dragging my hands down my face. “Kate. We don’t even know if he likes me like that.” The words are barely out of my mouth before I realize what I’ve said, and my stomach flips. “Oh my God. I cannot believe I just said that. What am I, sixteen?”
Kate smirks, eyes still on the road. “Pretty much.”
I think about the text I sent Sam yesterday:Staying at Kate’s, see you tomorrow.Then I ignored his calls. Every single one.
Sadly, it had been way too early to sleep, so I just hung out with the boys. By the time it was finally bedtime, I was stone-cold sober, too chicken to face Sam, and way too wired to actually fall asleep.
So, I dealt with another issue I’ve been avoiding. I sent a long email to my cousin slash half-brother. I didn’t mention his mom’s assault but I did say that I was aware of the history between our families and if he ever needs family, I’m here.
That’s all any of us need, right?
Family. And answers.
This morning, well afternoon, when I told Kate I was heading to my old house, she basically tackled me in the driveway and insisted on driving. Which, honestly, was good. Halfway there I realized Markus might have company, his mom, or his whore. Neither of them I wanted to see.
Finding out the kid wasn’t Markus’ hadn’t hit me the way I thought it would. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t relieved. Just…meh.
I am still hurt, though. Just because I don’t love him anymore, doesn’t erase the fact that he’d betrayed me.
“Quinn.” Kate’s voice cuts through my head.
“Yeah?”
“We’re home.”
I blink and look around. Oh. Right.
Getting out of her car, I head directly toward mine. “I’m gonna head home.”
“Really?” Kate palms her keys, one brow raised. “I thought you would wanna hide out another day.”
I shake my head, already unlocking my door. “Sam doesn’t deserve to be ignored.”
“What are you gonna say?” Kate asks, pausing with her hand on the door.
I answer honestly. “I have no idea.”
She snorts. Best friend that she is, she just tosses a casual “Good luck” over her shoulder and disappears into the house.
On the drive home, my brain won’t shut up. What am I gonna say? On one hand, it’s probably too soon. On the other hand, Sam’s kind of the one that got away. On the other other hand… leg, whatever, what if he doesn’t even see me like that?
