Page 94 of Sol
Because he made mefeel.
He awakened the losses I’d suffered. He made me aware of my inclination to bolt. He reminded me of the guilt I felt about mybrother.
And all those things were my ownfault.
I’d done too much on my own for toolong.
I buried my face in my pillow, still holding the letter in myhand.
Trent. I belonged withhim.
He meant home, a home I hadn’t had in a long time. His voice soothed me. His brilliant eyes caressed me. He was the sexiest guy I’d ever known. And his heart? Open to me, always. He cared for me more than he did forhimself.
I needed to do something about that. He needed to know that not only did I love him, but he was worthloving.
He really was ahero.
My sobs came out in herky-jerky fits. I picked up the phone and called him. It went straight to voicemail. Fingers flying over the keypad, I textedhim.
Callme.
Now I knew how it felt to try to get in touch with someone and not have them beavailable.
Getting up, I ran to the bathroom. My hair looked like I’d stuck my finger in a socket, and my skin was blotchy and tear-stained. I splashed water on my face and gathered my hair in abun.
Then I grabbed my purse, keys, and phone and dashed out of theapartment.
When I got to Lulu’s place, I wore out her apartmentbutton.
Her voice crackled over the intercom. “¿Quiénes?”
“Lu, it’s me. Dani. Can I comeup?”
She buzzed me in with nohesitation.
God, what a wonderfulfriend.
I ran up three flights of steps and pounded on her door. She opened it, saw my red eyes and nose, and hugged me, rubbing my back, stroking myhair.
“I’m in love with him, Lulu, and I pushed him away,” I choked out into her neck. “I’m scared I lost him. We had a fight. Trent gave me a letter, and in it he told me he loved me. He wrote it four years ago, Lu. Four. Years. Ago. He’s been in love with me for years. And I’ve been in love with him. I don’t know when it started, but probably when he gave me a glass of water when I cried. Or hell, years ago. I don’tknow.”
Pulling back, she crossed her arms. “And you’re only just now figuring this out?” In contrast to my mess, Lulu’s place was ready to receive King Felipe VI and Queen Letizia of Spain at any moment. Every surface shined. Her cushions were neat and fluffed. Flowers adorned the middle of her dining table. She went into the bathroom and walked out with a box of tissues, which she handed tome.
I took one gratefully and wiped my eyes. “Yes.”
“I could have told you that you were in love with him before he got here. No one reacts that strongly to anacquaintance.”
Wadding up my Kleenex and tossing it in my purse, I started pacing. “I think I thought, underneath it all, he’d be like Brian. That he’d order me around. Be a war monger. Have a fundamentally different philosophy of life than me. Wouldn’t a soldier want to tell me what to do all thetime?”
“I think that has nothing to do with being a soldier. That has to do with what kind of person you are.” She paused. “Besides, child, we all tell you what to do all the time. Doesn’t mean you’re gonnalisten.”
That earned her a rueful smile. “True.” I resumed pacing. “Trent doesn’t try to control me. He just treats me like I’m worthy ofprotection.”
“Youare.”
“Well, he is a bit controlling inbed.”
“Don’t wanna hear it,” shemumbled.
